To think if people read a message you send (text/fb/other), they could at least reply?

[sneezingwakesthebaby]

I know, I know, a Facebook aibu!

Am I being unreasonable to think that if you read a message someone has sent on Facebook and you are still online (green little symbol telling me), there's no real reason to click the message, read it but then not bother to reply?

I don't want to go into details and out myself in case the person is on here but they do this time and time again. Message me a long thing about how we should really meet up soon, I reply and they read my reply and just never bother to respond. I can see they have read it (just like the last two times they did this) and I know I won't get a reply again.

I just don't get why they message me in the first place if they don't actually want to do whatever they suggest. I wouldn't bother with them anymore but because of who they are I have to keep up appearances and reply or it will cause aggravation.

I know its not a big deal really but it happens a lot. Am I being unreasonable?

Thing is, if you don't really want to see them but are being pressured to make an effort, surely this is the perfect result. You are seen to be virtuous by those applying pressure, as you make the effort, but you don't actually have to meet.

You seem to be suggesting the other person is deliberately setting you up to make a fool of you. You need to reconcile yourself to the fact that they are not interested enough in you to bother doing that.

People have given lots of examples of similar FB behaviour with people they really do want to see, so the fact she uses FB differently from you is not the problem.

i'm guilty of this. i read messages when i get a notification but then i get distracted with aibu/other websites and i genuinely forget to reply. i just think that it's only facebook. if you want an instant response or a proper conversation, call me.

Yes, I have an old friend who does this.

Messaged me recently to tell me she was pregnant - I replied how wonderful, congratulations, when are you due/how are you feeling etc?

Radio silence.

Last time she did it she had messaged me about coming to see me, then when I replied with an enthusiastic yes please and some info about when we were around. No reply.

I know I'm just not that high up her list of priorities, and that's fine, we haven't seen each other for years. BUt I do find it baffling to start a conversation that you never finish.

Annoying.

I would do nothing. Next time they message you wait at least 2 days then reply something vague but polite.

I don't think either of you really want a relationship, so I'd not bother frankly.

I am also guilty of taking ages to reply to things. I get there eventually though!

I think it's quite rude to expect an instant reply actually. Sending me a FB message does not make you the boss of how I manage my time. I'll reply when I'm ready, which might be in a day or two.

cuillerasoupe - I agree with that! My friend messaged to ask if she could come and visit 2 years ago though!! And the pregnancy message was sent about 2 months ago, she read my reply and hasn't replied in 2 months.

OK now that's excessive .

I heartily dislike the expectation that just because you can get in touch with someone instantly, you should expect an instant reply. I get about 300 emails a day. If I replied to them all instantly I'd never have time to do anything else.