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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone has given their toddler melatonin?

61 replies

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 11:29

I'm doing what I swore I would never do: prefacing a non-AIBU question with 'To ask' so I can stick it in here and get the high traffic.

I'm currently desperate with my 15mo. He's normally a good sleeper but has these bad phases which COULD be teething or illness etc, but which most often seem to be linked to changes in development. At the moment he is feeding for 1 hour, three times a night and utterly hysterical if that doesn't get him off to sleep.

Long story short - I don't have the energy for sleep training but I've just seen the word 'melatonin supplements' during a google search and I'm wondering. I wouldn't use it long term, but I'm thinking about trying it for a few nights just in case he's needing to break the cycle. Anyone used it?

Oh, and I'm waiting to hear back from OOH for an appointment today, just in case there's a physical cause.

OP posts:
BeaWheesht · 16/03/2013 11:33

I wouldn't and didn't. I don't have any other advice unfortunately, I never did sleep training, ds was horrendous - slept 11-2 and 5-8 and then maybe an hour in the day. Sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason! Brew

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/03/2013 11:33

You have to get melatonin prescribed by a paediatrician initially.

Even a GP can't prescribe it.

You could get into trouble if you were caught buying it online.

Even then it may well not work as it only works if a child has a low.level of melatonin in first place.

It can help to send a child to sleep but wears off and does not keep them from.waking in night.

lougle · 16/03/2013 11:35

melatonin isn't licenced for use in children here. It doesn't mean children aren't prescribed it, but the prescriber is accepting responsibility for the effects.

I wouldn't use Melatonin without prescription at that age. Also, it only helps to initiate sleep, it won't help with night waking.

Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 11:39

Brew Clink Bea

Fanjo oh, you have to get it prescribed... didn't realise. Tits. I wouldn't risk buying it online, no chance of that. Thanks for the advice anyway.

Do you know, the first person who comes up with a genuine, effective, non-addictive quick fix for non-sleeping babies that doesn't involve cold-cocking them will be a multi-billionnaire in the space of a week.

OP posts:
raspberryroop · 16/03/2013 11:41

A blogger had ss descend on her when she mentioned giving her child un prescribed melatonin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/03/2013 11:44

Am hearing you..my DD's sleep pattern is as Bea described..for last 6 years

Hers is SN related so I am sure you will get sleep well before then though..hopefully tonight :)

Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 12:00

Thanks everyone. Here's hoping - and Fanjo I can't even conceive of going through that for 6 years. Thanks

OP posts:
digerd · 16/03/2013 12:12

I don't understand why you are still feeding in the night at 15 month's old.
Has he not been weaned yet.
My DD had been on solids since she was 9 months old, and a solid at the last feed of the day from 4 months old.

Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 12:22

digerd Some babies wean easier than others. But thanks for telling me about your DD.

My DS eats fine, but it's a hell of a battle to get him to drink anything that isn't breast milk, even during the day. During the night he flat-out refuses and gets hysterical. I'd rather bf than leave him to scream himself to sleep while he's severely dehydrated. We've tried everything to get him to drink, but there's not a lot you can do when he just turns his head away.

OP posts:
Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 12:24

NB Severely dehydrated is perhaps an exaggeration - but if I didn't bf him then he probably would be in quite a bad way.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 16/03/2013 12:34

I take it you don't want to try controlled crying?

It did work for us, but if your DS is teething or something, it probably wouldn't be a good time to try it. If it's nothing physical and he doesn't normally feed in the night it might be worth a go if you are not oppossed to it?

Original poster
JesusInTheCabbageVan · 16/03/2013 13:48

I'm not opposed to cc and would certainly consider it if I thought it would work - but as you say, I doubt in this case that it would. In the past I've been able to hear in his cry whether he stands a chance of settling within 5-10 minutes - in this case he definitely wouldn't. He starts out hysterical and thrashing around, and just keeps getting more and more worked up. He probably would sleep eventually, but only through exhaustion or literally knocking himself out on the cot bars. So I think the price would be too high.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 16/03/2013 13:52

I think you're right and it's not a solution in this case

My DS does normally sleep well but he recently had an ear infection (which we didnt know about until we took him to the GP) so it could be something like that?

Hope you get some sleep soon and your DS settles and is ok

Shellywelly1973 · 16/03/2013 14:32

I read this i just shook my head...get a bloody grip!
Melatonin?! Ds is prescribed this as he has ASD & ADHD. He's 8.

Your child is a baby. Train your dc to sleep...

Why do people think dc will just sleep? Why do people Bf at night at this age & then whine about it?!?!

Remember, your baby & your choice. Yes, you chose to respond to the child instead of taking control of the situation and resolving it.

Welovegrapes · 16/03/2013 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crashdoll · 16/03/2013 16:56

At 15 months, he's barely a toddler, still a baby really and it's normal. Maybe get some advice on this but please do not resort to melatonin.

redwellybluewelly · 16/03/2013 18:28

Yes. We gave dd melatonin at 18monthd under prescription from a neurologist, first few days like a different child but then it was as if she was stoned all the time. We did it because she was so badly affected physically from lack of sleep, increased muscle tone and spasms, falls, lack of eye contact.

Helped her go off to sleep but not stay asleep, also gave her indescribable night terrors, so bad that we almost took her into a&e. When we spoke to GP she said that it was a strong drug and had to wean from it slowly!

IneedAsockamnesty · 16/03/2013 18:30

Do you have a friend who would be willing to take over for a night so you can get a decent sleep,then you will have the energy to deal with the problem.

Footface · 16/03/2013 19:34

My ds1 was a bad sleeper, so sending out sympathy. Cc didn't really work for him. But it does for ds2 (tfft)

Is it that he wakes in the night for a feed, one hour is long time, is he feeding or just messing iyswim.

Have you tried co sleeping. Da1 sleeps lots better doing this.

In my darkest days when ds woke at 2 I would put him in his high chair put the telly on and sleep on the sofa for an hour or so til he was tried again. I not recommending that but you have to sleep

Footface · 16/03/2013 19:35

Another thing I did was put tots in the cot after he feel asleep hoping he would entertain himself (hollow laugh)

Sirzy · 16/03/2013 19:42

DS is 3 and has slept through about 3 times. He can wake between 3 and 20 times a night on average its about 5.

Even with that I wouldn't consider medicating him to sleep, he was given a sedative once when he was very ill to make him sleep and that was bad enough. Things like melatonin should only be used in exceptionally poor sleepers not just a toddler who won't sleep through

nomoreplease · 16/03/2013 19:45

Ds was a year and still doing this. Would not take formula or anything and I had to go into hospital so left DH with him after being reassured that he would not be at deaths door when I returned to DS happily taking a bottle of milk. Apparently he had realised quite quickly that without me there he couldn't breastfed.

Your child is more resilient than you think and it seems as though you are at the end if your tether thinking if drugging him, the best thing you can do is resign yourself to the situation or put your big girl pants on and either leave him with DH or do controlled crying. It will probably take a week to 10 days to work but would you not rather have that than another year of what you are experiencing at present?

harassedandherbug · 16/03/2013 19:51

My ds is 14mths (dc4) and wakes several times a night. The only way to get him back to sleep easily is to bf him. Takes a couple of minutes. At this age sleep regression is very common, almost usual, and bf'ing about so much more than nutrition.

Yes it is hard, but it's temporary. Dd was a nightmare sleeper, and I know that but cant remember it!

AryaStarksDancingMaster · 16/03/2013 19:55

Controlled Crying is not the only way to teach a child to sleep.

No drugging with Melatonin is not a good idea. It's not even been approved as generally safe for adults in the UK (you can get it prescribed with a lot of effort) - I wouldn't give it to a child.

you DO need to teach him to sleep eventually, this is not something he's just going to learn on his own when he is tired enough. I completely understand that when you are sleep deprived and exhausted you just don't have the mental reserves to cope with the turmoil.

Any change of established pattern will cause upset for 3-4 days after which the new pattern starts to feel normal, and there will be less upset (unless the way you have been responding to the upset is somewhat desirable, in which case it will continue as a learned part of the new pattern) then soon no upset at all. You don't have to make the changes using CC, you can identify small tiny steps from where you are now to where you want to be, and introduce each change one at a time. You can give plenty up hugs, love and reassurance, you don't need to make him cry it out, you just need to be firm because he's no longer a tiny baby where wants and needs are the same thing - what he wants is now different from what he needs, and you MUST be the grown up and give him what he needs not what he wants.

e.g. one change really does need to be no more milk between 8pm and 6am - he really doesn't need it either nutritionally or for hydration purposes and it's not good for his digestive system to be feeding through the night at this age - his tummy needs to rest over night - but you can introduct this gradually by defining a 4 hour period during which there will be no milk, and then letting that period grow.

LegoAcupuncture · 16/03/2013 20:00

Very helpful Digerd. You do know that not all children are the same right?

Op, I'd not recommend giving your child medicine that has not been prescribed as could land you in all sorts of trouble, and you've no idea how legit it is, desperate as you are.

Have you posted on the sleeping board on here? Also, take a look at the Cerebra guide. It's designed for children with SN but a few good tips there that might help.

Feel for you, I had two brilliant sleepers then had ds3 who was still waking three-four times a night for feeds. It's so wearing.

I hope he starts sleeping for you soon.