about the size of my house?

[secretofcrickleyhall]

I own (outright, no mortgage) a three bedroomed terraced house. It's not a large home but it is a lovely one. There is a small garden, beautiful views and it's in a really nice location near parks and our little town centre - just perfect. However, my dad claims it's too small to be a 'family home

I wondered what sort of homes you all lived in ... ?

Our boys go to school with kids from huge executive detatched houses and kids from tiny bungalows (no flats because there aren't any here but if there were, those kids would go to school too!). Families range from single parent, dual parent, parent/grandparent, adoptive parents - it's a huge mix.

Nobody gets bullied because of the size of house they live in, or the makeup of their family. They get bullied because kids can be unpleasant (though the school is pretty good at sorting it) but not over things that you're concerned about.

FWIW we live in a 4 bed detatched, 350sqm (around 3760sqft) and my older son was bullied for being clever. It's nothing to do with the size of the house!

You've done well to have no mortgage on a house regardless, I wouldn't trade that in to have bigger unless you end up with mixed gender multiples.
Our house was a standard 1970s 3 bed semi until we had the loft done because we ended up with twins. If we'd only had the one we were planning on, we would still have 3 beds and a lot less time on the mortgage to go.

Thanks :)

I know that a child wouldn't be bullied because of the size of their house exactly, I think it tends to be as I said something that marks them or identifies them as different, silly really. It's a lovely area but not a well to do one (old mining community) so I doubt my child will stand out particularly - but you never know!!

Good luck with ivf :)

We have only ever owned 3 bedroom properties and it's always been perfectly comfortable. The last two were detached, but probably no bigger than your present house.

We have 2 children (not children any more) and will be mortgage free very soon. Bigger houses have always been possible, but we wanted a mortgage that we were happy with, rather than the ridiculous amounts that we were offered. I like to sleep at night.

Big houses are overrated, IMO. Really expensive to maintain and absolutely loads of housework. Fine if you have absolutely masses of money to outsource all the maintenance (not just the labour, but the management) but otherwise how dull to be chained to house and garden. My parents lead that lifestyle - they are retired, but I think they have come to realise that it is quite dull to spend so much of one's time maintaining property!

OP, we split our time between a relatively small flat and a bloody huge country house.

I can assure you both are lovely family homes. Your Dad is talking rubbish!

It's completely relative, and parents don't always understand.

My in-laws can't understand how we can demean ourselves and our children by living in a tiny Victorian semi in a nice part of a desirable city, because they are American and suburban. In their worldview only very poor people have to live in urban "row homes". To make it even worse, we don't have a car! When I pointed out to MIL how much our house is worth in USD and how much more the sort of house she likes costs around here (in USD) she went quiet. I think she thought our house must have cost $50k or something.

My Dad, on the other hand, thinks our house is great and ample for our needs. He is very proud of us having such a pretty house in a lovely city and would think we were mad if we were dissatisfied with it.

Have we all missed something or AIBU? This is the worst case of stealth boasting I've seen. "oh look at me, I'm mortgage free. I could move somewhere bigger if I wanted. I live in a lovely house in a lovely area. Lucky, lucky me. Now then, poor people, tell me about the houses YOU live in. Are you going to have to move because of bedroom tax?"

Precisely, precisely, precisely Hairdryer, and exactly what I thought.

And also, sod what anyone else thinks about the inadequate size of your house, unless they're going to bloody well buy you a new, bigger one.

Hey, blackholes let's be unreasonable together!

Umm Hairdryer can I firstly apologise if my post came acoss as a stealth-boast as I assure you it isn't. I couldn't move somewhere bigger (not without a mortgage) and I couldn't afford IVF/childcare fees AND a mortgage and I'd only be moving for a child anyway ...

I actually think of most people who post on here as being very middle class indeed, there are lots of threads on the education boards about independent schools and so on so I genuinely didn't think anyone would be insulted.

Also, I only own my house mortgage free because both my parents are dead so I have an inheritance (my dad is a stepfather although has been since I was quite young so I always just refer to him as "my dad" in conversation) - I don't actually count myself as all that lucky, I'd rather have both parents to be honest!

I'd ask my dad what he meant, tbh. It's exactly the kind of comment that the only response at the time is "Oh?", then you have a think, start a thread then it's perfectly reasonable to ask what he meant at a later date. It could be something you'd never have thought of in a million years, obvs.

Yes, you're probably right kali; I think I am over-thinking it, but planning a child in this way you do sort of feel as if you have to explain and justify EVERYTHING (yes I have tried internet dating, no I couldn't adopt, yes I know your best mate's cousin's neighbour had twins at 44) so the house was just one more!

Like I say, I honestly think of most M-netters as living in detached country homes with ponies and children who play the viola and rugby for hobbies so I wasn't stealth boasting!

Must dash. The cleaner is coming - yes, on a Saturday, can you believe it? - then I have to take Tarquin to Polo and Esmerelda to the opera.

Oh, sounds like an off-hand nothing comment People are so weird

I'm listening to Radio 4 in a sitting room full of books. Conrad and Kanga are at due back from atheist camp at 11 so I'll pop downstairs to ask Birgitta to rustle up a raw snack for them.

Well, there you go then Hairdryer, I don't have a cleaner, I've never been to polo or to the opera.

Actually I think opera is a terrible noise - my dad loves it - guess we're all different, eh?

2 bed flat. 2 children. one lge double, one not quite double but could just bout fit one in if you don't mind not popening the door fully or having the bed against a wall and not much furniture, certinly not a wardrobe.

Thanks Reality - your house sounds lovely! I think with my dad it might be that although there are three bedrooms they are all on the small side and one room in particlar is titchy (it's a lovely room though!) There's a nice spacious kitchen, small lounge, stairs, two average beds, one tiny bed and a tiny tiny bathroom! There's a bath in it but it's so small I can't even lie down fully in it and I'm only 5'3!

Size isn't everything

Parents are funny creatures. I vividly remember my mum saying to me under circumstances I won't go into, "But you can't raise a child in a FLAT!!" as if it were the most logical thing in the world, discounting the hundreds of millions of people around the world who do just that. Having said that, now that I've got a tiny baby, I'm glad we have a small garden and our own front door. But it wouldn't have been the end of the world...

we live in a detached bungalow with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and 4 reception rooms, with a large garden. Our DC love it as there is lots of room to run around.