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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't have to jump through hoops?

27 replies

EricNorthmansFangBanger · 15/03/2013 17:21

To get my DS's tongue tie snipped? DS is 3 weeks old and has a quite noticeable tongue tie. Luckily, he seemed to not have too many problems latching on so the hospital did not refer him but we do seem to be starting to have problems with him unlatching during a feed recently.

I asked the midwife about getting his tongue tie snipped as it is such a minor procedure when they're babies from what I can gather. She told me I would have to go to the baby cafe and lie/exagerate about thr latching problems to get a referral. After discussion with DH, I decided to go to my GP. She told me that she would refer me but that it was unlikely they would snip it.

My DB had tongue tie which was snipped when he was 2 and had to have general anaesthetic. I would prefer to not put DS through a general anaesthetic when he could get it done now. I've also read the article on tongue tie on KellyMom and some of the symptoms DS is getting can be caused by the tongue tie.

So, AIBU to think tongue tie should just be routinely snipped without me having to jump through hoops?

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 15/03/2013 17:22

What is the 'baby cafe' ?

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangBanger · 15/03/2013 17:27

Sorry it's the breastfeeding support!

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2013 17:28

YANBU - it is crazy that they don't deal with this when they are a matter of days old if it is diagnosed.

lljkk · 15/03/2013 17:30

sounds like there is lots of ignorance, maybe because still unusual procedure in your area, good luck.

MousyMouse · 15/03/2013 17:35

yanbu
could you have it done privately?

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangBanger · 15/03/2013 17:45

If they refused to do it when we attend the appointment then I would do it privately. It was spotted as soon as he was born and they were amazed with his latch. I'm just so annoyed that they would prefer to wait and risk a general anaesthetic rather than do it now. I really don't want to have to over-exaggerate when we have the appointment but it's looking more likely that I will have to.

OP posts:
Footface · 15/03/2013 18:51

Both my ds's had toungue tie, with the first consultant I had to really stand my ground that I wanted it done. You could tell she didn't want to do it. With ds2 consultant was more than happy to do it.

But no yanbu and you shouldn't have to jump through hoops.

Ds 1 had his done at 4 weeks, ds 2 not till 7 weeks due to people faffing around.

Your hv can do the referral though

NynaevesSister · 15/03/2013 18:58

Had similar but NHS doesn't treat if not causing feeding or teeth problems. My friend went private but DC's was mild so we didn't but I regret that. He continued to have feeding problems, I had to give him a bottle, and when he weaned he found chewing food hard. He is still a very slow eater and that causes problems at school dinner time. It takes so long to eat he misses time with friends and other activities. Given it over again I would have had it done when he was a baby. When it is mild like his, there's a good chance it will break by the time they're 1 but that didn't happen.

catyloopylou · 15/03/2013 19:35

YANBU.

My DS had a tongue tie that was noticed when he was born but was not given a referral and this despite him losing lots of weight and having problems feeding. When I discussed it with the midwife a few days later she said there would be a wait of some weeks (despite DS still having problems feeding) but could give me a private referral.

We took the private option and the tongue tie was snipped 2 days later, at home, took a minute and DS was happily breastfeeding a minute later and no more tears or bleeding. Very simple and quick and worth doing as DS immediately found latching easier and fed better.

The NHS is very shortsighted in not doing this on the spot when in most cases it is straightforward and can help babies feed more easily.

MousyMouse · 15/03/2013 19:50

just out of interest caty what did it cost?
also worth mentioning, tongue tie does not only affect feeding, it can also affect speech.

nextphase · 15/03/2013 20:22

NHS will treat tt if causing pain in mother during feeding, even if baby not suffering.

Would it ever be possible to train enough midwives in every hospital to be able to diagnose and divide a tie (lip or tongue) before discharge?

Fakebook · 15/03/2013 20:28

That's shit, yanbu. Apparently in the olden days midwives used to cut the tongue with their nails. So I've heard.

oldraver · 15/03/2013 20:47

I think it should be part of the post birth checks and done immediately. DS had lots of problems feeding and not one of the many HCP's suggested Tongue Tie, I hadn't even heard of it until I was on a parenting forum

FryOneFatManic · 15/03/2013 22:14

I've also heard that midwives of old had one of their fingernails specially sharpened to snip tongue tie s soon as babies were born. Apparently, they'd run that finger in the mouth of baby, snip it, and baby would be handed over to mum to immediately feed. Babies would feed normally and many mothers simply wouldn't have been aware there had even been a problem.

It dows seem easier to do it straight away. Would probably be less wasteful of NHS resources.

FryOneFatManic · 15/03/2013 22:15

does, not dows, sorry. Not trying to dowse anything here.

molly199 · 15/03/2013 22:49

i dont understand why mums push for this tongue snipping.

Ive had a tongue tie for 32 years so have my relatives, we have no issues with anything ( such as eating, talking), we all have perfect straight teeth so why do you want this done. do you see this as neccessary as it doesnt seem necessary. My friend pushed for her DC to get theirs done for no other reason apart from she didnt want her child to have it.

I feel like people are so picky about silly things, if theres no issues dont do it. Your saying you would have to exagerate so you can get your child put to sleep and have surgeons cut his tongue because you dont like it, really.

MousyMouse · 15/03/2013 22:55

thing is, you don't neccessarily know that there is no issue until dc starts to speak/speech problems become apparent.
by that time a repair is more difficult and speech therapy is lengthy/long waiting times/takes a long time.

HerrenaHarridan · 15/03/2013 23:10

Molly at 3 weeks old it does not require ga.

Op. we had same as you. Noticed at birth, left. Feeding fine, latch incredible, after about 3 weeks she stopped gaining and it gradually became more and more of a struggle for her to eat. We were told by rubbish mw that we would have to wait 3 weeks for snip! Complained to health visitor at breast feeding group and was done within a week.

Tbh if I'd realised how minor the procedure was I would have gone to the outpatients dept at sick kids and said ill just wait here til someone can spare a mo.

It was literally,
get blanket and wrap over both baby's arms,
wait a heartbeat for her to open her mouth to cry,
poke blunt ended scissors in,

snip,
done.

She didn't even formulate a cry before she was gulping goggle eyed on the boob!

chirpchirp · 15/03/2013 23:12

YANBU.

I'm really surprised to hear this as my DS was born with a tongue tie, the midwife noticed it on day 1 or 2 and he was referred and had it snipped six days later at a near by dental surgery all done on NHS. DS being my first I didn't realise it was something other parents have to push for.

nextphase · 16/03/2013 13:06

Molly

Great news that your tie hasn't caused any issues.
DS1 was feeding 18 hours of every day, causing me great pain - my nipples were bleeding, and at 3 weeks still hadn't regained birth weight.

Dividing the tie immediately dropped the feeding times, and he soon started gaining weight. Within a week, I had healed.

AFAIC, the tt was causing immense feeding issues, and needed resolving.

Perhaps the "divide all ties" is going too far, but I think it is something that should be part of the baby check, mother should be made aware of possible problems, and a divide available locally, and pretty immediately, should it be required.

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangBanger · 16/03/2013 14:46

Molly - if you would have read my OP you would have seen that actually he wouldn't have to be put to sleep if he had it done now. It's taken him until 19 days old to get back to his birth weight so he had a slow weight gain. And I was saying I would hae to exaggerate as the midwife told me they pretty much won't do it otherwise. He is having slight problems with feeding in terms of unlatching now and again during feeding and my nipples are beginning to get sore again. The article I read on KellyMom has a few symptoms that can be caused by TT and DS is displaying quite a few of them.

My DB had TT and had to be put to sleep to get it cut when he was 2 as it was affecting his speech a lot. There are so many other problems that can occur with TT and great for you that you've had no problems but noone can predict what problems may occur. I want to avoid any more problems happening by having the TT snipped now rather than later. So it's not because 'I don't like it' at all.

OP posts:
molly199 · 16/03/2013 19:42

ok fair enough

theoriginalandbestrookie · 16/03/2013 19:47

YANBU. DS has a tt and I found bf dreadfully hard. I was in hospital for 3 nights as I had a C-section so it's strange no one noticed it then, it was only the midwife when she did her home visit.

She said it would take 2 weeks to get an appointment to get it sorted, I gave up bf in those two weeks Sad as I got mastitis and DH's mother died and it didn't get done.
It is a real shame that they don't just routinely check for it and sort it out at the hospital. Apparently it occurs in 10% of the population, although I suspect it is higher than that.

LINDAHOAD · 07/12/2023 13:25

this is awful why should you pay you have paid all your working life. ask your gp for a referral for a consultant who specialises with children and this problem.

lh