To not want to go to dinner with this couple?

[stormforce10]

DP is not a solicitor or a banker but his career has strong links with both law and finance so he is a bit of a jack of both trades and a master of neither

We have some friends who ask us to dinner 2-3 times a year. They are currently involved in an ongoing legal case and every time we go they ask DP to go through recent paperwork and advise them. They also keep asking for his advice on their investments.

I barely get talked to except for pleasantries and DP comes away irate and stressed. Sometimes they end up phoning him a couple of days later to clarify some of what he said.

Theyv've asked us round again. AIBU to politely decline and make up an excuse (even though we're actually free and they are very good cooks) ?

If apart from this you and dh like them, you should go and dh'll have the chance to explain he doesn't feel comfortable giving advice or something. And then you'll have a good night.
Maybe they think you don't mind and he enjoys talking about his work? Maybe not

Yanbu to be peeved.

Yes cozietoesie I remember now, there was a case relating to accountants. And I've just asked a lawyer conveniently sitting next to me, and they are as well. So steer clear OP! Or use this as your excuse to avoid work chat.

can you imagine how awful it must be for doctor an dentists? would you mind just having a look at this festering sore / gaping wound / hideously misshapen limb etc etc

Why don't you go and your husband say oh, I really don't want to talk shop, I thought this was a social evening.

If they're friends, then surely you can say to them that you'd really rather not have them pretend you're invited round to dinner when what they actually want is legal advice.

Be honest with them.

Either they'll apologise and not do it.

Or they'll fall out with you and you won't HAVE to do it.

either way - result!

"Sorry I'm not insured to give advice except through the auspices of the office".

I think this is a real hazard in many professions. I am a teacher and get it too but the worst see to be doctors who have to pronounce on every minor ailment. But we are friends so we help / listen to each other. It is, in a way, a kind of barter system. What do they give you in return? Is it just the meal? Do they ever come to you? Do you like them?

I would say, happy to help but, in return can you do x y z, depending on their profession. If SAHM you can ask for babysitting or a it of cleaning - no more cheeky than they are being. But if they do reciprocate (food, help etc) and you do like them otherwise, then this is what your relationship has become.

Can you suggest barter?

It all sounds like too much hard work to work out how to get around a not particularly pleasant situation. I think the OP and her DP should just decline politely and keep declining. (And have a good meal at home with their feet up.)

A neighbour of mine once put pressure on me to countersign something (I am on the list of professions etc)

he was very cagey about it

"well you have known me for x number of years etc"

he only gave me half a folded over page and was evasive when I asked to see the full document

he wouldn't show me, so I said "no, I am not happy to do this because I don't know what I am signing"

he took the massive hump

I still don't know what it was to this day (and neither has he ever spoken to me again....)

Thanks.

We've known them for years but over time due to childcare and distance our relationship has fallen back to a few meals together every year both at our home and theirs and usually seeing each other at various christmas parties, weddings etc.

DP finds it tiresome and feels a bit cornered. He's clever, he's kind and he does not usually mind giving a bit of free advice but this particular legal case is complex and this couple are taking everything very personally (understandable given nature of case) and get the hump if dp even suggests the other side might have a point on something.

Funnily enough she is a doctor. Hmm I wonder if I could whip my genital warts out over the dinner table and ask them to have a look

I'm an architect and DH is a dr and we quite often get asked for free professional advice. It can be tiresome and legally complicated (both have a professional duty of care even for free advice)
DH often says "oh I'm specialised and only deal with xyz" which is a very specialised field so rarely bothers the social askers.
I often do something similar "sorry I only design ABC but I can recommend somebody who might be able to help"
Thankfully a large group of our friends are in the same professions as us so they don't ask

I'm in a medical profession where people frequently stick body parts in my face in social settings. I usually am delighted to help them.
TBH it depends not the person who does it and how they ask. This couple clearly don't care about you or even you DH.
It's always obvious to me when people are using me for advice or free treatment or whether they are a genuine friend reaching out. The difference is enormous.

stormforce

If your DP finds it tiresome - and you clearly don't enjoy it much - just decline politely. As to making up an excuse - well no-one is ever truly 'free' - just that you haven't some social obligation already set.

Tell them you're having a 'date night'. Not a term I much like but it's a real conversation stopper.

PS - and actually have one!