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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not unpack his suitcase?

16 replies

bedmonster · 15/03/2013 10:27

Actually, I know i'm not, but am feeling a bit hormonal and ragey today so just want verification that my tendency to be stubborn is actually justified this time

DP went on a jolly 2 weeks ago today for a weekend. I didn't pack for him but he asked me if xyz would be clean for him to take away and I made sure everything he wanted was clean. He then asked me (as I was ironing the DDs hama beads) to run the iron over a couple of his things, 2 pairs of shorts, 2 tshirts and 2 shirts. I don't iron, but happily did it for him anyway.

He came home with his dirty washing in a carrier bag which I washed the day after he got back. I said to him he needed to sort out what was in his case. He still hasn't! Now, he hasn't mentioned anything to me, nor me him, but AIBU to think he should have unpacked the damn thing by now?! I have part given in and moved it upstairs to his side of the bed as it was by the front door and I kept getting the buggy stuck on it going in and out of the house. But it's out of the way now so it's not bothering me physically, only mentally!!

Yes, I am a SAHM but that doesn't in my head equate to being a dogsbody, and although he works, he has been home by no later than 5 for the last 2 weeks, and finds time to fit in a pub trip once a week after work (this information is just so you can see he has spare time!)

So AIBU?

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 15/03/2013 10:29

LTB

I'd pour the contents onto his seat/bed and leave it there.

tallwivglasses · 15/03/2013 10:42

It's not petty - it's symbolic of his attitude towards you. He thinks its his right to be nannied by his wife. I'd just leave the bastard suitcase. Forever if necessary.

Crinkle77 · 15/03/2013 10:45

YANBU. You are not his skivvy

KeatsiePie · 15/03/2013 10:46

I think I would just ignore it. You've put it to where he knows it's his problem to unpack it, he'll do it eventually. If he says "why haven't you unpacked my things" then you can say "Uh what?" and go from there.

givemeaclue · 15/03/2013 10:47

Yanbu. Forget about it. Not your problem so don't make it one!

Original poster

bedmonster · 15/03/2013 10:47

You I'm not bothered enough to even do that!

tall i'm not really sure it's symbolic - he has taken stuff out of it to wear! All creased up! I don't think he's particularly waiting for me to empty it for him, just that he's too lazy to actually unpack it!

And i'm not unpacking it don't you worry, just was enquiring if I was BU :)

OP posts:

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes · 15/03/2013 10:47

Leave it and if he says something tell him you're not his skivvy and he needs to remember to treat you with respect.

Smellslikecatspee · 15/03/2013 10:47

Not in the less bit petty.
He's an adult.

Unless he waiting for his clothes to crawl out of the case?

diddl · 15/03/2013 10:52

I'd leave it too.

Problem is though when something is annoying to one person but not the other & you're having to live with it.

As for leaving the suitcase in the way of the buggy-that's really lazy/inconsiderate.

Original poster

bedmonster · 15/03/2013 10:58

diddl he got back late at night on the sunday and I moved it on the monday morning. It wasn't really that he was being inconsiderate, more that he just got in, dumped his stuff and came up to bed.

I do the same when coming back from weekends away.

Even though this was lighthearted i'm already beginning to think it was a bad idea.....

Anyway, thanks for the concensus that I ANBU, I wasn't moving it anyway (though he hasn't asked me too) but wondered if, as I am at home and have time to arse about on MN etc, and generally do the house stuff, if that came under the umbrella term 'housework' as I don't think it does.
Thankyou all

OP posts:

HazleNutt · 15/03/2013 10:58

I'm lazy and sometimes don't unpack my suitcase for 2 weeks. But I also don't expect DH to do it and I would unpack, if it would bother him. So instad of silently fuming and dragging the suitcase around, why don't you just tell him it annoys you and could he please unpack?

WallyBantersJunkBox · 15/03/2013 11:00

It's hard to ignore it though isn't it?

My DH hasn't unpacked his holiday suitcase for 3 weeks now. I am refusing. I also now refuse joint suitcases. We have so many carrier bags and backpacks from day trips just left in the coatcupboard and basement. It drives me crazy. And when he can never find anything he needs everyone hears about it.

I would put it on his side of the bed with a post it note saying "unpack please"

Actually i wouldn't put "please" either.

Iaintdunnuffink · 15/03/2013 11:02

Yanbu

As someone above said it's not your problem so don't make it one.

ReturnofSaturn · 15/03/2013 11:04

Reminds me of that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where ray and debra have a silent stand-off about the unpacked suitcase left on the stairs. :D

PurpleBlossom · 15/03/2013 11:10

YANBU at all!

DP's swimming bag from two weeks ago is still sitting in my hallway cupboard

I actually took DD's stuff out to wash, leaving his wet things in the bag. Petty?.. yes, but I don't care and refuse to crack!

diddl · 15/03/2013 11:10

At least he hasn't asked or demanded!

If it's not bothering you where it is, it's not really an issue.

For me it's the sort of thing that comes under-sometimes I can be bothered to do it & sometimes I can't!

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