To think he should put away his own washing?

[Florizella]

He works fairly long hours during the week, I only work part time and look after our dc.
I don't mind doing most of the housework, I have two days a week 'off' that means I do have the time. However this week I've had a pile of essays to mark and parents evening, so left ONE basket of (his) washing dried and ready to be put away on Tuesday. I also pointed this out to him. This morning, babies nappies (put on last night) needed to be put away, and the basket was still full.

God I sound petty.. But it is really annoying. I took the basket upstairs put away the washing and had a bit of a grump at him. He claims he didn't see it (in full view on the kitchen floor) and doesn't mind putting away my washing (hasn't done this in living memory) Now he's working from home upstairs and not speaking to me.

Am I being unreasonable? Or just really petty?

In the grand scheme of things you're both being a bit petty, why on earth isn't he speaking to you? But I'm petty too so would have emptied it onto his lap so I could use the basket and he could put it away himself. So YABU.

By YABU I meant YANBU, sorry!

Like that. Will be less reasonable next time! And try to be less petty..

I sort the washing into 4 piles - mine, DH, DD, DS. I put 3 of them away and leave DH's on his side of the bed.

I don't think YABU. I also understand the grumpy attitude with him. I think he might be being a bit U though with the silent treatment - just perpetuates the grumpiness all round.

I have similar problem. DH and I both work full time and so share the household chores 50/50. While there are some jobs we tend to do more than the other (he puts the bins out, sorts recycling, Does more general tidying, I clean the bathroom, load and unload the dishwasher, and Hoover round). We tend to share doing the clothes washing. When I do it, I wash it, dry it and fold it it all (I don't really iron unless absolutely necessary!) and then take it upstairs and put it all away, regardless of who the washing belongs to. DH will wash and dry the clothes shove them all higgledy piggledy into a bag and then empty it all out into our bed. He will then put everything away except my stuff which he leaves in a crumpled pile on the bed for me to find when I come to bed. He claims he doesn't know where my clothes go. We have lived in this house for 5 years and my clothes have been organised in exactly the same way. I have a two door wardrobe and four under bed drawers. How hard can it be??! Drives me fucking nuts.

I dont think YABU. I'm in a similar scenario to you (work 3.5. days and have 3 year old on my days off plus school runs for my 6 yo)
I do all the washing (dishes and clothes) which is never ending. I also sort out the clothes into four piles and generally put them on the stairs and take them up when I go up. DH never 'sees' them. Even in the time it takes for me to yell 'can you just bring a pile of washing up when you come upstairs' and his responding 'yes' he forgets about it.
I end up taking his up and putting them on the bed for him to put away. He never does. They just end up in a pile on the floor when he goes to bed. I have said to him numerous times - rather than just plonking your washing on the floor - can you not just put it in your drawers? The response is always - I'll do it tomorrow (procrastinator of the highest order) So he's happy to do it - he just doesnt.
He does complain however that our bedroom is always 'a mess'. this would be due to the fact that a) there is always clean washing on the floor and on the chest of drawers and b) he constantly blows his nose on toilet tissue and just drops it down his side of the bed. ditto dental floss. it is gross.

I've got one of these too - he just moves his freshly laundered clothes, or ironed clothes onto the floor to get into bed. By the end of the week there is a cracking floorderobe situation going on but I refuse to put them away. He only clears up before the cleaner comes in - shame I think that the stuff she ironed the week before is still on the floor...
I think I'll change her hours so she comes in every morning for one hour

What drives me absolutely f**king interstellar is that he hangs his clothes off the drawers to my clothes so I have to move them to get out a pair of socks. I've taken to "dropping" them. childish me?

Why did you take it?

Did you need the basket or the space?

It's his clothes.

Just put them on the floor and take the basket if you need it. At some point he will need the clothes.

Or put at the bottom of his closet and let him look for them.

What Lueji said

I feel rather hurt that, apparently, this was an issue for Mumsnet.

Since my wife seems to think it is, though, maybe it?s better if this isn?t entirely one-sided.

First, it's untrue that I don't put away Florizella's washing. I do (in fact, that's probably why she doesn't remember it ? she didn't have to do it; it is probably fair to say that she does more of our washing than I do, mind, but then she works part-time and I work full-time so that isn't very surprising). And unlike her, I don't leave baskets of dry washing that have just come out of the drier on the kitchen floor and expect someone else to (a) know they're there or (b) do anything about them. Yes, I could have noticed it sooner (I did notice it this morning, while making DC's breakfast), and yes, it's possible she mentioned it to me at some point previously and for some reason it didn't sink in. I don't remember.

And what, pray, was I doing when this heinous not-putting-washing-away incident occurred? I was doing the washing-up. Why? In order to make DC's breakfast I needed to wash up a pan. Instead of leaving the water to go cold and leaving the washing-up unfinished on the side, I had decided to finish it. So my crime here is that instead of immediately taking my washing upstairs on noticing it, I decided to make DC's breakfast and do the washing up. Oh, and then Florizella decided she wanted to do DC's washing, found the nappies in the machine, wanted the basket and found that she'd left it, full of dry clothing (not all mine, either), on the kitchen floor. I hasten to add that DC's washing didn't actually need to be done right at that moment, while the water in the sink was actually going cold.

And while Florizella mentions unloading nappies from the washing machine, she neglected to mention that it was me that put them on last night, and not because she asked/told me to either.

It's also untrue that I wasn't speaking to her. I was a bit upset, yes, but I did actually have work to do, and conversation is a bit difficult when the person on the other side of the table is (a) on an iPad and (b) has just had a go at you in a way you don't think is fair. I certainly didn't want it to turn into an argument in front of DC.

So here's my take on this: Florizella should be talking to me about this, not complaining on here.

Feeling maligned,

Florizella's DH

Oooh a real domestic. Popcorn anyone?

YANBU. We both work f/t, DP does more childcare than me and does most of the cooking, so I do most of the housework, but putting away his washing it where I draw the line. Probably petty, but there you go.

And "hi", Florizella's DH.

This is going to get interesting...

Well, now what have you got to say op?

F's dh ... so you have been doing the washing up since Tuesday ??

Ii hope my DH has no idea who I am on here.

Florizella and FlorizellasDH, you both sound lovely, but just a bit stressed. That's all.

I think that allowing one's spouse space to sound off outside the relationship is healthy. And yes life with a small child(ren) is stressful and the chores are neverending for both parties.

We made up after he posted on here..
Before I saw this post otherwise I'd have been crosser. Oh well..

Married life heh?!

Both definitely stressed..time for ..

I do everything in my house. Absolutely everything, washing, ironing, putting away, cooking, cleaning, driving, shopping. I also wash and dress dh every day, get him downstairs. Take him to the lavatory should he require it. Our three dcs are on the Autistic spectrum.
When he was well, he would hoover, help put the washing away, wash up etc. He can't.
I'm not a saint, I'm not much of a moaner, but these threads do hack me off. Sorry.

The appearance of your dh just sent shivers up my spine! Fuck it, get a maid!

oh Dawndonna, how do you cope? I wish I could come & help