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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

finger/thumb sucking

28 replies

Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:18

I have three year old girls; one sucks her fingers and one sucks her thumb. This is having an effect on their baby teeth and seems to be making them buck toothed and in the case of the finger sucker, gappy. I tried to explain to them that sucking would ruin their teeth and make them look like Bugs Bunny. The look on their little faces made me feel so bad. Was I being unreasonable to say this? Should I just leave them in peace to suck away, even though it might ruin their teeth? Might it not even damage their adult teeth below?

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cardibach · 14/03/2013 21:23

I sucked my finger until I was 11, well after my adult teeth came in. Theyare fine, so, while it might make the risk of dodgy teeth higher it doesn't make it certain. I think your approach was a little harsh and also focussed too much on appearances - it suggests that having a less than perfect appearance makes you leess 'good'. And they still have baby teeth, presumably? SO no permanent harm done?
Comparing protruding teeth to 'Buge Bunny' is really out of order the more i think about it - what attitude will your children take to others they may meet who do have protruding front teeth?

livinginwonderland · 14/03/2013 21:25

i sucked my thumb until i was about ten or eleven and i never had problems with my teeth. it can affect your baby teeth, but i've never met an adult with buck teeth from thumb/finger sucking unless they continued it well into their teen years, and most kids grow out of it by then.

LingDiLong · 14/03/2013 21:26

In contrast to Cardi, I sucked my fingers up until 11ish and completely cocked my teeth up. I ended up wearing braces for a couple of years as the front ones were very uneven.

I don't think you were unreasonable to attempt to explain that it would damage their teeth but you would be unreasonable to expect that alone to work on a 3 year old. They're still so little! I'm not sure how you do get them to stop though...

Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:29

Well their Nana is the only person they know with protruding teeth (she also was a thumb sucker) and I'm sure my comment won't start them laughing and pointing at her. But cheers for the advice and please don't let my Bugs Bunny comment offend your sensibilities. I can assure you I am not overly concerned with appearances, but no one want their kids to have protruding teeth, especially if they can do something about it.

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Fakebook · 14/03/2013 21:30

The bugs bunny thing is bad. You didn't really say that did you? Shock. My DS is 1 and sucks his thumb at night or when he gets hold of his comfort cloth during the day. As I know he sucks it for no reason with the cloth, I keep it hidden until bed time so he only sucks briefly before bed and then during the night when he gets restless.

I knew a woman who was still sucking her thumb at the age of 30 and she's 36 now and I've heard she still does. Haven't seen her for ages though to confirm that.

StetsonsAreCool · 14/03/2013 21:31

I still suck my thumb. Even without all that I'd have had buck teeth, they're something of a genetic gift in my family Wink

My parents and grandparents tried everything to get me to stop - softly,softly; tough love; name calling (baby, bugs bunny etc) as well as vinegar and perfume on my thumb. None of it worked. Not even 10 years of braces could stop me.

Fwiw, the braces gave me lovely straight teeth that haven't moved since I finished with my last retainer 10 years ago, so all is not lost.

Eventually my parents just let me get on with it.

You might find they grow out of it. But they might not. Just try and be the one on their side though if they end being called names by other kids.

Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:31

LingDiLong Thanks, I was starting to think I deserved a Bad Mother Of The Year Award! I had to wear braces too and would like the girls to avoid that if possible. Achey teeth and day-glo tooth bands are something I'd like to forget!

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Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:34

Lots of great advice. For what it's worth, I didn't call them Bugs Bunny, I said they'd end up looking like Bugs Bunny IF they continued. What other comparison can you give a 3 yr old? I can't explain the 'torture' of a brace as they have never seen one/known anyone with one.

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Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:36

StetsonsAreCool Hopefully they'll grow out of it! I don't want to be that mum comforting my child because they've been teased about their teeth, heart breaking because I can't do much about it until a trip to the Orth. and a few years of train tracks. That's why I'm posting I guess. Of course I'd be on their side, they're my babies!!

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livinginwonderland · 14/03/2013 21:37

you can get some stuff to paint on their thumbs. i have a friend who used to bite her nails and that was the only thing that stopped her. it really tasted vile and it had a horrible aftertaste!

Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:39

livinginwonderland I mention a cartoon rabbit and get it in the neck and you're suggesting vile tasting nail paint. You'll have the 'It's tantamount to child abuse' brigade out in a minute! Wink

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Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:40

But it doesn't sound like a bad idea if it gets them to stop!!

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monsterchild · 14/03/2013 21:40

Braces are cheaper than therapy, and more likely to work!

Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:44

I didn't know therapy could straighten teeth.....

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StetsonsAreCool · 14/03/2013 21:45

I know shelly, you're only posting because you care Smile

3 is young to try and explain why you shouldn't do something that brings you comfort. If they're determined to it, they will. No amount of reasoning or foul tasting stuff will stop them if they really want to carry on (says the voice of experience)

If they still do it when they're old enough for other kids to notice, just teach them to keep it for home or bedtime.

Can you tell this is one of the things I've decided not to pick my battles on? Smile

BubblegumPie · 14/03/2013 21:46

I'm 23 and I still suck my thumb Blush my teeth are fine.

Original poster
Shelly32 · 14/03/2013 21:54

StetsonsAreCool I can tell. It does bring them comfort and they do look so adorable, like little babies still, and not so much like the little girls that they are becoming. It's good to hear from someone who's had a damn good go at trying to persuade their children to stop sucking. I think this is something I'll have to give up worrying about for now! Thank you Smile

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Schmoozer · 14/03/2013 21:59

I never sucked my thumb, im a hair twiddelr :)
And i had a brace in my teens for years !
So i dont beleieve its a foregone conclusion that sucking leads to bugs bunny
Its a form of self soothing that they discovered due to innate urges
My dd is a thumb sucker and i leave her in peace to suck !
When she is older we can chat about functional mood modulatory behaviours that could replace her thumb sucking !

IWishIWasSheRa · 14/03/2013 22:02

I used a thumbguard for my daughter when she was nearly 4- it was brill- fitted it loosely so she could remove it but she wanted to stop ( told her she would get 'poorly' teeth) she wore it for 3 weeks and is 7 now and hasn't sucked since. They also make a fingerguard. It's the best £60 I ever spent!! It turns the thumb into a 'straw' so they get no pleasure from sucking and break the habit. First night was hard but much less of a drama overall than I thought it would be!
Well worth a google!

IWishIWasSheRa · 14/03/2013 22:06

I should add I had dreadful teeth from thumb sucking so it was important to me dd didn't go through the same!
The problem with saying they will get bugs bunny teeth is that when they see a child with protruding teeth they will apply the bugs bunny label to them! Horrid for the child and mortifying for you!

Mamaski · 14/03/2013 22:23

Goggle Thumbuddy To Love to help them stop thumb sucking.

thegreylady · 14/03/2013 23:14

My grandson is just 4 and sucks his thumb whenever he is not actively engaged in something. Nothing seems to stop him. If you mention teeth he just says he doesn't mind!

MichelleRooJnr · 14/03/2013 23:25

I'm 37 and still suck my thumb.
My teeth are fucked.
They don't look that bad, but they do not meet at all. I have no bite - it's a real struggle to eat anything that needs to be bitten like a sandwich.
I have horrible memories of my mum trying to stop me sucking my thumb - slapping my hand away, painting my thumb with stuff etc.
I had braces as a teenager but have undone their hard work (although my teeth are prob much better than they would've been without)
But thumb sucking is like an addiction - i get sweats thinking about losing my right thumb.

Original poster
Shelly32 · 15/03/2013 08:49

MichelleRooJnr The sweats comment made me giggle! IWishIWasSheRa I really hope my girls don't apply the Bugs Bunny term to anyone. They are kind girls and their Nana has buck teeth (due to not ever having a brace and being a persistent thumb sucker as a child). I think when I mentioned the rabbit, they were probably more worried about growing fur and big ears. I'm actually concerned that overly hairy, big- eared people may bear the brunt of my thoughtless comparison!! Wink

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Original poster
Shelly32 · 15/03/2013 08:54

Mamamski and IWishIWasSheRa Thumb buddies look perfect! Two Binky Fairies coming up!! I'm assuming you can pop them on your fingers too! Thanks for the advice!

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