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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why she's obsessed with the fact my DS isn't walking yet

38 replies

BlackMaryJanes · 14/03/2013 20:40

My DS is 14 months old and not walking unaided yet. He's my youngest and last child so it doesn't bother me that he wants to remain a 'baby' for a little longer.

However a woman I know at the local playgroup, whose son is 16 months old and has just started walking, seems obsessed with my DS's progress. She makes comments literally every 10 minutes (I counted 7 comments today in the space on an hour). Examples include:

"It's great when they start walking - much easier"

"Has he started yet?"

"I can't call my DS a baby any more, he's a toddler because he's walking"

"It's easy to get them to walk, just crouch and encourage them to come to you"

"So speaking to my son are you going to be walking when I see you next week?"

"speaking to my son Stop being lazy and walk to mammy"

and so on, and so on.

Maybe I'm very naive but I can't see why she's so bothered?

OP posts:

ThisIsMummyPig · 14/03/2013 20:42

She was anxious about her own DS, and got a bit obsessive about it (but didn't want to admit her own child's failings) so now she's just transferred that onto your DS.

Either that or she's just bloody stupid

MsVestibule · 14/03/2013 20:45

How strange. Can you say something along the lines of "You seem particularly keen for my son to start walking. Is there a reason for that?"? With a interested smile on your face, it shouldn't come across as though you're being arsey.

But really, "It's easy to get them to walk, just crouch and encourage them to come to you" and . My DCs didn't walk until they were 18 and 19 months - she'd have had a fit around them!

Original poster

BlackMaryJanes · 14/03/2013 20:45

She was anxious, you're right ThisIsMummyPig

Not sure why she would transfer that to my DS though

OP posts:

Bumply · 14/03/2013 20:47

Ds1 walked early. Ds2 was delayed due to ill health so I would have been pissed off to get those comments.

LimboLil · 14/03/2013 20:48

She's a twit and dropping hints about how you can be more like her and then your son will walk. Ignore. I used to get the same from a woman about talking. Dropping big hints about how her son talked early because he went nursery, she played so much with him blah blah. As it turned out, my son is autistic. Hers isn't. I don't think 14 months is that old anyway. Enjoy your baby :-)

MolotovCocktail · 14/03/2013 20:48

Say "How old was your DS when he started walking?"

She'll say "16 months"

Then you say "[Name] has a little way to catch up yet" :)

And if she doesn't stop then, she is stupid. God, I'd find someone else to talk to as she would really irritate me.

Blissx · 14/03/2013 20:50

Well said ThisIsMummyPig. Shows she was anxious about her own. Always find it funny when the comments about walking start. I mean, it's hardly as if babies who start to walk earlier are somehow better at walking as adults?!!

Original poster

BlackMaryJanes · 14/03/2013 20:50

Her son was 11 weeks prem, perhaps that has something to do with it? (Sorry for the drip feed). I'm confused and slightly irritated by her fixation with my son's progress. Thankfully I don't loose sleep over it though :)

OP posts:

sue52 · 14/03/2013 20:53

What a silly woman. Ignore her. Telling your DS that he's lazy is just barking.

YouTheCat · 14/03/2013 20:55

I was walking at 10 months and have been pretty bloody excellent at it ever since.

Some people are just stupid. Ignore her.

If you can't ignore her, just say 'he'll walk when he's ready'.

SPBInDisguise · 14/03/2013 20:57

Maybe respond with "no, do you think I should take his name off the Oxbridge waiting list"
Or "he tried once but I velcroed his feet to the floor, that stopped that nonsense!"
Shell think you're mad but she will stop obsessing

NotEnoughJamOnTheBread · 14/03/2013 20:59

Sounds like a competitive mum to me. She's not really concerned your son isn't walking yet, it's her way of bigging up hers.

ReallyTired · 14/03/2013 20:59

lol.. ds walked at 20 months due to orthopedic problems. Dd walked at 14 months.

When children walk late they have the brain cells not to walk into objects to eat everything in reach. An 18 month old who starts walking has a far better concept of safety than a 9 month old.

Children who are early walkers and miss out the crawling stage are at greater risk of dyslexia and dyspraxia.

Geekster · 14/03/2013 21:00

I think ThisIsMummyPig (good name by the way), has hit the nail on the head. She's transferring her own worries onto your DS. My twelve month old DD isn't walking yet and I'm actually quite relieved as she isn't going to fall and hurt herself from any height yet. My friends DS was nearly two before he walked on his own but he never had that 'wobble' he just got on with it. Good job that woman didn't know him!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 14/03/2013 21:03

"It's easy to get them to walk, just crouch and encourage them to come to you"

I must be doing something wrong, I put DS on the floor and have been encouraging him for the last 20mins, but he just wont walk?
He is 2 weeks old

this is not really true! Mine are both older than that

ThedementedPenguin · 14/03/2013 21:05

It's hateful. My 6 month old ds gets this all the time from my MIL. Every time I talk to her it's all oh he'll be walking soon, I give it to Easter and then he'll be walking. I feel like shouting for fuck sakes woman he's 6 FUCKING MONTHS!

Sorry it does get annoying. I second the whole oh he'll do it when he's good and ready.

I love the reply he tried but I velcrod him to the floor :)

reallyyummymummy · 14/03/2013 21:06

My favourite line is "well I'm sure he will, I have never met an adult that can't walk".

mamapants · 14/03/2013 21:06

It depends on her tone but I would think maybe she is just making conversation. Walking has been on her mind because she was anxious about it, your son is at similar stage so she's showing an interest.
I'm sure we all get a bit repetitive. Everybody goes through a list of things don't they: smiling, rolling over, teeth, weaning, crawling, pulling up, walking and sleep.

ThedementedPenguin · 14/03/2013 21:13

Really reallyyummymummy if it was me I wouldn't personally say that to anyone, seems a bit rude IMO

Lulaloo · 14/03/2013 21:18

DD (12) did not walk until 22 months. I also got bored with the comments. She bottom shuffled and then When she walked she walked I don't think she has sat down since. All mine were late walkers and so was I!
I think she is passing on her own anxieties regarding her own child. Ignore!

ReallyTired · 14/03/2013 21:26

"well I'm sure he will, I have never met an adult that can't walk"

reallyyummymummy I think you have to be careful as some children do have major special needs.

There are adults and older children who will never learn to walk. Certainly when ds was under child physio and being fitted for orthorics we met several children who may never learn to walk independently.

mrsjay · 14/03/2013 21:29

she is excited and relieved that her baby has started walking and deflecting ( is that the word ) onto you
next week smile say still not walking and sit somewhere else, MY dds were 16 and 15 monhs before the even took a step,

mrsjay · 14/03/2013 21:29

My favourite line is "well I'm sure he will, I have never met an adult that can't walk".

Oh dear do you really say that

Fakebook · 14/03/2013 21:32

Reallyyummymummy, seriously?

TattyDevine · 14/03/2013 21:36

Oh my daughter was about 15 months before she walked. She did it on her knees till then. Ruined all her trousers. Turned out she could not see! (Long sighted, now wears specs)

Mother was slightly obsessed with it but obviously she could get about so had little incentive to take that risk, though she did eventually of course.

Wasn't bothered, just different problems/obstacles, not easier or harder really!

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