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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to always sabotage my weight loss efforts

37 replies

Greenkit · 14/03/2013 18:44

I am 42, 18.5 stone and have a BMI of 40.5. Sad

I hate my body, have for years and years, I never wanted to be fat and forty, but here I am at 42 the biggest I have ever been.

Why if I am so very unhappy, do I sabotage my weight loss efforts and what can I do to help me motivate myself?

I am scared I am going to have a heart attack

OP posts:
SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 14/03/2013 18:48

I have this problem too. I lose a bit of weight then freak out and sabotage myself, gaining even more weight than when I started.

I'm trying to break the cycle by firstly joining a group to keep me focused, but also losing weight more slowly than previous attempts. The idea there is that it's a more gradual and subtle lifestyle change that I will be able to maintain long term. Time will tell if it works!

mummymeister · 14/03/2013 18:50

I am older than you and was a similar weight. worried about my health so started at slimming world. its not the whole answer but it seems a lot us do this and i needed to work out how to stop. it isnt easy but it can be done one day at a time. have a look on the diet thread theres loads of support and help on that thread. perimenopause is a pain in the butt because this doesnt help how you feel either. good luck Op

Fluffy1234 · 14/03/2013 19:05

In 2011 I was 42 and obese but managed to lose a lot of weight so know how hard it is. I read somewhere that if you lose 10% of your body weight you may live for an extra 10 years. That seemed to spur me on. I also thought it took the whole of my 30's to put the weight on so it's going to be a slow process to get it of.
Best of luck ladies.

DoJo · 14/03/2013 19:13

What do you mean by sabotage? Are you actually setting yourself up to fail by having unrealistic expectations or is there a pattern in your actual behaviour which is repeating itself?

Original poster
Greenkit · 14/03/2013 19:17

Thank you for the replies.

I start off all motivated then lose interest and give up. Then I need to buy clothes or im going on holiday and I get all upset and off I go again.

I have zero will power

OP posts:
doctorhamster · 14/03/2013 19:45

You could be me greenkit. I'm 10 years younger and a stone lighter but have exactly the same problem. I've been fat since I was a small child and just cant break the cycle.

Original poster
Greenkit · 14/03/2013 19:47

If I dont break the cycle I will be dead Sad

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 14/03/2013 19:50

You don't need to diet, you need to change your lifestyle - they are two very different things. Have you sought advice from your GP? What have you tried so far?

fairylightsinthesnow · 14/03/2013 19:51

My sister has been large for about 15 years (size 18-20). My personal theory as to why (up until the most recent attempt) that she failed to lose weight was because she was not terribly successful in her personal or professional life and she could "blame" it on being big and ignore various other issues that may have contributed to her situation. In the last year she has much more successfully lost weight, is down to a 16 /14 now. She got married 18 months ago and is happy at work so it is "safe" now to lose weight as she doesn't need it as an excuse. She has plateaued slightly in recent months and I am really trying to encourage her to stick with it as I think the other danger point (which affects me too) is getting to within 10lbs of where you want to be and then thinking "I'm fine" and then piling on 7lbs again. Is any of this remotely feasible to your situation OP?

doctorhamster · 14/03/2013 19:51

That's my fear too. Every now and again I look up the consequences of being this weight in the hope of scaring myself into doing something about it. Doesn't work. Even knowing I could have a heart attack or get cancer doesnt stop me eating.

Talkinpeace · 14/03/2013 19:53

Come and try 5:2
its a way of eating that happens to result in weight loss for those who are overweight, has health benefits for everybody, and because the rule is the same no matter how fat, thin, old or young you are, motivation is always at hand ....
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1705483-5-2-Diet-Thread-Number-15-Our-quincea-era
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/big_slim_whatever_weight_loss_club/1581821-Tips-and-links-for-those-practicing-Intermittent-Fasting-IF-5-2-or-Alternate-Day-Fasting-ADF?pg=1

trixymalixy · 14/03/2013 19:55

My sister had gastric band hypnotherapy, she has lost nearly 8 stone over the past year and a bit.

I've got 2 stone to lose and I always sabotage too. I'm thinking of trying hypnotherapy too.

Original poster
Greenkit · 14/03/2013 20:08

Kinky - I have tried everything, but not for long

Fairy - Kind of makes sense, I will give it more thought

Talkin - I was doing this in january, I am trying Herbalife (well first day)

OP posts:
Fluffy1234 · 14/03/2013 20:18

I think to lose a lot of weight you have to want to more than anything, I mean really want to, not jut want to when you are trying on holiday stuff or have a wedding to go to. OP I took control of my eating by saying it's my hand putting this crap in my mouth and only I can stop. I went from 13 and a half stone to 9 stone in 2011 by low carbing and have maintained a size 10.

timidviper · 14/03/2013 20:20

OP I am similar BMI to you but am 10 years older and have battled with this for years. I've tried WW, SW and many others.

Finally I have come to the realisation that I need, not a diet, but a way I can eat on a permanent basis without feeling deprived. I also need to cultivate a way of thinking that allows me to have an occasional treat, night out, etc without enough guilt to make me binge or quit.

I am tackling that with a low-carb diet and the support of the lovely ladies on the bootcamp threads. I hope you find something that works for you.

Talkinpeace · 14/03/2013 20:21

Greenkit
"I was doing this in January"
Why did you stop?
As the point of 5:2 is that only those two days per week really count to start with so you cannot fall off the wagon.

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 14/03/2013 20:25

I just picked up on this bit of the OP: I hate my body, have for years and years,

I found, after ten years of failed 'dieting' because I hated the way I looked, that I needed to learn to love my body at its biggest before I really felt I could maintain the commitment to treat it properly. That "treating it properly" is crucial to what I'm doing now. I'm not "dieting", I'm not "slimming". All I am doing is treating my body with the respect it deserves and not filling it full of crap that will cause it harm. As a side effect, I happen to be losing weight and gradually getting into the shape I ought to be. I'm still probably at least 3 stone off what I should be in order to be healthy and this is the traditional stage of weight loss attempts where my resolve fails and I end up back on the takeaways and junk food. I literally tell myself in the mirror every morning that my body is a wonderful thing and I should be good to it. Sounds corny as hell, but it's working!

Original poster
Greenkit · 14/03/2013 20:26

Talkinpeace - I got on well with it and quite enjoyed it, I didnt really feel hungry and it was working, I lost 8lbs.

But I work shifts and got confused with when to eat, not to eat, and as everything I kind of lost interest.

My plan is to lose 2 stone on the Herbalife diet and then start the 5:2 again

OP posts:
Sausagedog27 · 14/03/2013 20:34

I used to be overweight and miserable, but not miserable enough to not want that pudding, or extra helping. One day I just hit rock bottom, I was really ill and also met someone who has lost weight as a success story. It just spurred me on. Tbh as bad as it sounds, I think you need to hit absolute rock bottom to do it. I also saw an independent dietician- I always used the ww/sw not for me excuse, so I found something (one to one) that worked for me. I lost the weight quickly, really changed my eating habits and haven't looked back. Perhaps just start small- ie change something small in your routine (ie mid morning snack etc) and once you get used to thar, build in more? X

Isabeller · 14/03/2013 20:48

Hi Greenkit I'm feeling a bit rubbish about my weight too. Good luck with your plan Smile

Talkinpeace · 14/03/2013 21:29

(greenkit)
Working odd hours makes it hard, but you can combine 5:2 with any other system ... look at it weekly
2 x 24 hours = within 500 calories
4 x 24 hours = at or around your TDEE
1 x 24 hours = splurge
and that last day is the most fun!
Why is when you start to enjoy being you again - which is what matters most.

thezebrawearspurple · 14/03/2013 22:18

It's so hard to change long time habits, you just have to keep trying until you find yourself in a lifestyle that works for you. May I just say that diet wise if you could avoid all sugar, bread, pasta etc and get your carbs strictly from low glucose fruit and veg that will make a huge difference. It will take a few days before your body gets used to it (it's hard to start but you can get through it!) but then you won't be as hungry because your sugar levels won't be spiking all the time and your body starts burning fat more efficiently. Stick to fresh meat, fish, eggs, fruit and veg, proper portion sizes and you will lose. It's also something you can stick to long term.

Add in some exercise as well, would it be possible for you to join a gym or buy some gym equipment like a bike or cross trainer? Free weights are cheap and there are loads of sites on the internet that will show you how to use them (and videos on youtube). Exercise dvds are good too, although you can get everything on youtube now!

You could also try myfitnesspal.com. There are people on that site who've lost hundreds of poundsShock, maybe you could benefit from their advice and support, they have done it!!!

Isabeller · 15/03/2013 10:15

How are you Greenkit? I just had a look at myfitnesspal mentioned by thezebra a bit scary especially what it thought of my breakfast...

oscarwilde · 15/03/2013 11:58

Can you afford a bootcamp? I found it insanely motivational as I lost so much weight in one week. I got much fitter and had a lot more energy too so it was a good 6 months before I started to slide citing pregnancy as an excuse

whimsicalmess · 15/03/2013 12:02

I made a thread very similar to this other day, I wonder why its so common.

the worst thing is is Don't really fully know why I do it therefore can't control the trigger. Is this similar to you?