To ask mil to stop buying so much

[Nicole2781]

My mil is brilliant with my DS and although I find her incredibly over the top with my DS she has been amazing with helping us out.

My problem is that she buys so much for my DS. I'm very greatful for what she has bought for him e.g jumperoo, bumble chair and basically his whole 3-6 month clothes are what she had bought. I didn't mind her buying a few outfits for him at all but I love buying my son clothes and choosing his lovely outfits but I was a bit miffed that shed bought so much it would be a waste if I went out and got more. I even told her I had night him a lot of vests but she still went out and bought the same ones even though I'd said he had more than enough.

Now it's time to buy his next size up ready and I'm getting a bit peed off thinking it will happen again and want to ask her to not buy so much as he's my son and I want to buy his main clothes.

How do I say this to her with out offending her? I know if I do she will say I'm throwing everything she does for us back in her face which is not what I'm doing at all. I just feel like she's taking over a bit like every time he goes to hers he comes back in a new outfit and lots of new clothes in his bag. She is the type of woman who has a stupid amount of clothes in her wardrobe with tags on that she doesn't wear that cost a lot of money and thinks nothing of just throwing them away without taking them back or exchanging them for something else. I find that ridiculous but it's up to her what she does with her stuff I just don't really know how to ask her to stop.
AIBU? And how would I do this without offending her?

Would it feel like this if it were DM not MiL? I remember my MiL driving me mad with buying stuff all the time - not so much clothes but toys and general tat. Had a hilarious moment in yet another bloody gift shop where she desperately wanted to spend yet another fortune on DS and he insisted (aged about 3) that all he wanted was a postcard! She was really disappointed! I miss her sometimes now that she's no longer with us and despite all the blazing rows I had with her, I wish she'd been able to see him grow up. She spoiled him rotten for the first four years of his life and whilst at the time it often drove me bonkers (thinking of the waste, the intrusion into "MY territory" and what a spoilt brat he may turn out to be) we had many frank discussions and sometimes she backed down.

Some grandparents love to do this...often because they can afford to, which they maybe couldn't with their own children. (My DM insisted on buying a swinging crib because she had wanted one for us as babies and couldn't afford it - DS hated the rocking motion and tensed up whenever it moved...so it stayed permanenetly locked!)

Try not to let it get to you. It won't change your relationship with your child. However, if it's still a biggie even in the grand scheme of things just say so. My sister rules my mother's purchases for her dcs with a rod of iron!

As others have said...why not just accept the stuff and choose other things from you? I remember being at my friend who bought DS his first bike. After I recovered from the of her usurping our role as his parents to purchase this "milestone"...I then thought of the pleasure she got from doing it and all the things we'd be able to do with the money we saved!

You are your child's mummy. Nothing anyone can buy can beat that!

If you can, I would suggest going on a shopping trip together. And drop hints about what you do need!

My MIL is very generous (I often feel bad, because my own mother could never afford to spoil her grandson like MIL does). I just accept everything with a smile, and to be honest, I love most of what she buys LO. I like that she buys him books, clothes and toys, and knits him a lot of clothes, as it means I have enough cash to buy what I want (Frugi and Mini Boden) for the baby instead of just buying cheap stuff that will only last one baby.

Most of his clothes then get passed onto his cousin (6 months between them), and I've kept a few of the things I love (mini Babour jacket!) for our next baby.

And just because she bought it, doesn't mean you have to use it either! If you really don't like it, exchange or pass onto a friend.

My MIL is so mean. I know she & FIL have loads of money, but she never buys anything for her DGs. AIBU to think it would be nice if she sometimes bought them something?