to believe that I am washed out and past it

[idiuntno57]

40+ (just), four kids born within x4 years. All at school now (just). Three bouts of serious PND. A lot of grey hair and a hell of a lot of laundry..

I used to have a good (ish) job until PG with No 4. Now they are off my hands for 3hrs + a day and I am left wondering what is there for me?

Is it really practical to contemplate a 'proper' job again or would the cost/logistics/negative impact on the kids just not be worth it. I'm self employed but it is a hard slog to get work and frankly it is not that frequent.

Is it just too late to get back out there and find myself properly or is it just life that mine has been sacrificed for them?

don't get me wrong I love them to bits and being around has been the right thing but I can't shift the idea that I'm all washed up.

You've probably got another 45 years left, what do you want from those years? Perhaps if you're having trouble getting your pecker back up you could still have a bit of depression. Sounds like you just need a few new outfits and a cv update, a few crappy interviews and a few scary months and you'll be back up and out there. I certainly wouldn't be thinking about finishing living your life at 40!!!

Your life's just halfway through. The second half will be very different from the first half, though.

Of course you are not washed out and past it....you are old enough to be secure in yourself and confident and not have all the angst we have as young'uns and young enough to be able to do whatever you want .

I am 41, almost 42 and really, it is the best age!! My DS is a bit older now and more independent (10) and I feel fab.

Get a hobby, start loving life and don't look back. Don't forget, life begins at 40 - didn't you know that 40 is the new 30!!

Be fabulous at 40 :)

40 is young! You're never too old.
You just sound exhausted and you need to reclaim those 3+ hours as your own.
It's tough when you've left your career behind - I did the same and have done some crappy jobs in comparison since. But work is work and I find it good for the soul.
Start doing your C.V. and see how you feel. Anything is possible. You just need to find some inspiration, right after you've learnt to enjoy your 'me time'.
Don't think work always has a negative impact on the kids. It doesn't. If their needs are met, whether that's child care, after school club etc. they're generally happy. If you are working and enjoy it, then they will not think anything of it. I don't know anyone who now hates their Mother because she worked hard when they were kids. On the contrary.
You have time to mull over any ideas you have/had.
Good luck.

thanks for the responses. I do agree that I need to redo my CV. I think at the very least it will remind me that I am a human as well as a mum.