When I split with h last year, he got in contact with his dad who he hasn't seen since he was 16.
His dad is now married again with 2 children.
I was happy about this as his dad seems a nice guy who wants a relationship with our two dc and I thought it would be lovely for my young dc to have another set of grandparents.
His wife has turned out to be a different kettle of fish though. She seems set on trying to find out personal details about my relationship with exh. She can't stop phoning me, wanting to arrange get togethers (with me, not the dc) and a couple of times I've caught her out in a lie.
It seems as if she trying to cause friction between exh and his dad. And she wants me to be her confident - almost like she wants me to cry on her shoulder and tell her all my personal business. She also makes me complicient in her little secrets. So she phones (I now dread the home phone ringing) and then she'll tell me something about exh and his dad or exh's mum and then tell me not to say anything. I don't want to be part of this.
She also keeps going on about the past. About things which happened 20yrs ago. Things that involved exh dad and his mum eg the reasons they split up. I don't care or what to know this stuff. I was about ten at the time. It isn't relevant to me or my life.
I have tried to remain neutral for the sake of the dc. I want them to have a relationship with their grandad. But I am breaking point.
I want to tell her this:
Can you arrange all contact details in regard to the children with exh. I don't need to come along with the children - exh is perfectly capable of looking after them. I don't wish to socalise or gossip with you. I would like to keep things pleasant for the sake of the dc but I as I am no longer with exh I don't want to be part of your family as it's frankly awkward and strange for both exh and me.
But how can I say this without upsetting the apple cart?
AIBU to think she should just leave me alone and concentrate on building a realtionship with exh and the dc?