Am I right to feel betrayed?

[LovingWINE]

I'm being unfairly dismissed from my job at a East Sussex health club. It's got quite involved and I'm being really upset by weekly meetings and challenging emails. Last week I discovered (he didn't tell me, I found out ) that my husband has still been using our complimentary gym membership throughout, and not telling me. Altogether it's been about 7 weeks! He has a history of lying (and has cheated) so I'm not surprised...but I feel so betrayed. Am I being unreasonable? He thinks its no big deal...he says "I was just using the gym, not taking your boss out to tea! Thing is, I don't know what to think any more as I've promised in the past the if he lies again...we're finished. So tough to think of breaking up our family over a few sessions in the gym, but really, it's bigger that that...isn't it?

I can see why you'd feel betrayed, he's happily using their services while they're being nasty to you. Is this the last straw? Is he generally disrespectful towards you?

Should have dumped him for cheating, not using gym membership. Only you can tell if it's time for a split but it does seem fairly minor compared to past indiscretions.

Thanks you two...I'm new here...it's nice to get sensible replies!

Ok, I understand why you feel betrayed, but sometimes people can separate a freebie in the gym with what their spouse is going through. HIBU but he's not having another affair.

YANBU to feel betrayed and angry, YWBU to end a marriage over it if it was the only issue. But it's not is it?

You answered your own question. It's bigger than that. And not because of what you're going through at work. From what you've said, it's one in a long list of things. Could this be the straw that breaks everything? Only you can answer that.

If you have a history of lying, and you want to change, even a white lie is a big deal... he's stupid if he doesn't understand that.

I hope it works out for you. Please update and tell us you've got a new job, new man, new happy life how things works out.

Why wouldnt you get sensible replies OP!!!!!

Mind you id be angry too if i was you.

Just because a subsequent episode of disrespect is more "minor" than a previous one doesn't mean you don't take it very seriously

Is there any reason he may be very attached to attending that gym ?

Loves running...I don't think there's anything more to it. But then again, can I trust a liar???

I cut his trainers up with a pair of scissors...it was quite difficult.
He bought new ones.
Should I cut those too?

Why? Will destroying expensive articles of footwear stop him being a liar ?

No...it doesn't seem to. I just get a tiny bit of gratification from doing it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy lady!

You would get a lot more gratification out of deciding this is the last time you will be lied to

And, more importantly, sticking to it

He's testing your boundaries. See if you really will dump him for a small lie. Just wait, they will get bigger.