To request that dd is placed in a different form to her 'friend' when they go to high school?

[sausagebaconandtomatobutty]

Dd and her friend are either best friends or sworn enemies and its been like that since they were in reception

They can request 2 people that they know to be in their form

I won't be putting dds friend but I think her parents will

They are set for maths but other than that will be taught in form groups

AIBU to request they are separated? I think in the long term if they stay together its going to cause issues

they are currently friends btw

My best friend at primary was like this - very jealous and manipulative if she thought I being friendly with anyone else. I believe it may have been the school who recommended we were separated at secondary.

It didn't stop her telling some spiteful lies about me to her new friends but it did mean that, in a different form, she had other interests and mostly forgot about me.

Helltotheknow, by all means the OP should request they are separated, but I don't think it's a good idea for her to tell the other girls parents. What would be the point? I think it is best to avoid fall outs. It certainly makes life easier. There are ways and means of doing as you please without having fall outs.

One of the mums at my DD's school fell out with me and it makes school runs awkward. Not to mention PTA events and parents evenings.

I requested that a particular child who had left state primary but was going to go to same state secondary after prep school to age 13 not be placed with dd1. HOY agreed and said easiest thing was to just say tutor group was full. There was a paper trail of bullying incidents.

The only trouble was, another child, this time a truly lovely girl and close friend, who'd been down to go on to public school has had a bit of a family financial crisis and ended up joining the secondary instead, and because the tutor group has been marked as 'full' she couldn't join.

Having said, she's settled very well and they've been put in a lot of the same sets anyway.

And bully child's dad got a windfall and has blu-ed it on staying private, so we're safe from her.

And not a single other parent or child knows anything about my request.

Former head of Year 7 here.

Do it, get then separated. If they want to see each other there's still break and lunchtime.

I wouldn't tell your DD or the other DD's parents either. Let the school take the blame for the separation.

It'll be the making of your DD.

I wished i hadn't requested my so-called best friend from Middle School to be in my class at Upper School; she made my life a misery; luckily i made some proper good friends after a long 18 months.

If my Mum had been aware she'd have felt the same way as you, OP.

Definitely request the separation!

I'm so glad there are so many of you saying do it

Won't be telling my dd or the other parents, it's really not worth the fall out

The teacher will be grateful! I had a pair like that and had to have tissues at the ready-one moment best friends and the next both in floods of tears. It was a relief when one moved abroad!

Murphy I'm not saying OP should go out of her way to tell the other parents but i would have no qualms about saying if asked directly. Obviously if she can do it without saying anything, all the better.

I've already had a bullying situation with my dd which required me to get directly involved and be very up front with the other parent, and although there's been fallout,i don't care and things are much better in school. My much happier dd has been enough justification.

Be careful as a friends mum did this to me and told the school that she didn't want us in the same class. Well we were still best friends for about a year until I heard from another friend what had happened. Never spoke to the girl again as I felt very betrayed. She was very upset that we were no longer friends, and very upset with her mum

Do it. However, make sure the secondary school will take note of the request to be in the same form as the friends from dance. Our secondary school didn't take note of DS1's request to be in the same form as a friend from nursery who was at a different primary school. It was later acknowledged that they don't take into account this kind of request unless particularly pressed.

Also ensure that the schools won't, in time, divulge your request to a third party. A friend of mine was disappointed that her son wasn't with one particular friend, as they were such big friends in primary school, and a teacher at the primary school confirmed to her that the friend didn't have her son on his short list.

DD wasn't in the same class as one particular close friend, but as classes are mixed up as streaming comes in, that doesn't mean they don't have lessons together. Up until two weeks ago, in Year 11, they were still exceptionally close, but now boys and dates for the leaving do have interfered with this. And that's a whole new thread!