to feel completely miffed that men are not more respectful of us women

[stella10]

I don't really know where this is all coming from but since having my most recent baby I've been feeling unappreciated by dp. I'm not saying he should be in awe of his partner for giving him his latest child but surely if u see someone going through THAT to bring your child into the world it deserves a certain level of respect. And I feel I should be his priority in life me and his children isn't that what life is about? Then I read things on here and it really depresses me that women are being treated like shit by their partners who should worship them I'm sorry but thats how I feel. Same goes other way I appreciate what dp does for us but maybe not enough?? Maybe I should work on that. I just wonder if I'm odd for letting all these things get to me also the woman who was gang raped and died in India haunts me. Do those men have no mothers:/sisters? I just don't get it?how anyone can get like that.... Maybe I'm heading for some kind of mid life crisis I'm 32 and all the dreams I had are fading and realisation is hitting that this is it....my life as it may well be and there is no adoring partner and things to look forward to. Gorgeous kids but life is very hard is this normal? The theme of women being dis respected keeps appearing in my life and I feel devalued I'm not sure why or what wound make me feel better? Am I crazy?

You sound a bit depressed. Your dp may or may not be a bit crap, it's really hard to tell.
Yes, some men are idiots. But most men aren't. But "there is no adoring partner and things to look forward to" and the bit about your dreams fading says to me that you need to make changes - you need to work out what you want and make it happen.

Thanks indisguise!! You know as I wrote that I kept wondering if I sounded depressed :-/ I hope not! I've been trying to make changes but its very hard at the moment for everyone I'd guess but the feeling of dreams fading that is reality tho surely?? With things as they are these days half the country wil never own their own home make lives for themselves to be proud of or fulfil their dreams.... Maybe I blame too much on my crap relationship and really I should make it happen for myself?(somehow:-/) ?

Well I don't know if you are or not. And if you are, it doesn't mean your relationship isn't crap.
I don't think you give up on dreams. You adjust them slightly - I explained to my 5 and 3yo the other day as they planned a trip to the moon that I was probably never going to go, but THEY could. I suppose the issue is whether you get a chance to do things that are important to you, and if you and your DP broadly share priorities.

What are your DP's priorities? Do you work outside the home?

Is your relationship in trouble or are your wishes out of reach? finding it hard to get from your messages, Wishes can be managed, bad realtionship is harder

I think there are a few issues going on here -

1 - You say you have a crap relationship and don't feel respected or appreciated by your DP. It might help to talk more about what's actually going on. The relationships board is usually very supportive.

2 - You feel life is passing you by and your dreams are fading. 32 is young! When I was your age I had just started at uni and am now, age 43, just finding my feet in a new exciting career. Along the way were several years as a LP and some quite severe MH problems. Young DC are hard work but it's a really short time until they're a bit more independent and you get more freedom. Make some changes now, sort out the practicalities and do something for yourself. You might need to sort out 1 as part of this.

2 - YABU to feel 'completely miffed' about the treatment dished out to women by men on a world scale, you should be fucking raging - I know I am Pop over to Feminism if you want a chat or a good rant. It might help you clarify your thoughts and find ways of campaigning and channelling your anger into doing something constructive.

What has he actually done / not done?

What are your dreams that have faded away?

Sorry you are feeling so down.

Men on women? we are a mixed bag. I prefer women to be women. I dont want a woman to be a Desperate dan or Superman impressionist. But people in general are children of their age; so younger men may be nicer to women than older men. The times they are a changin Or have changed