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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder how you stop visitors from pooing in your toilet?

43 replies

giraffesCantDateDucks · 13/03/2013 20:25

On obsessive compulsive cleaners a woman says she bans visitors from pooing - I mean does she ask them first and send them home if they need a shit?!

Or does she slip them imodium as they walk in?

OP posts:

ComposHat · 13/03/2013 22:02

I might say 'despite your prohibition on letting visitors cack in your precious toilet, I have done a whopping great turd and if you don't want me to wipe my clarty arse all over your towels bring me some bog roll pronto. Three ply quilted if you have it.

StephaniePowers · 13/03/2013 22:04

"Into which we do NOT pass solids!!"

2rebecca · 13/03/2013 22:04

I wouldn't regard a friend who wouldn't let me have a poo in her house as a friend. It does flush away and there are things called windows that you open to get rid of the smell. I really don't see the problem here. Different if the friend only had a commode and she had to actually empty my poo somewhere but it just flushes away. Mad.

MintChocAddict · 13/03/2013 22:12

I'm totally with her.
I once had a delivery man ask to use my toilet.
I happily directed him when he asked where it was, assuming he'd be in and out in a minute.
5 minutes later he was still there.
Eventually he called out a cheery goodbye as he closed the front door.
The smell started to drift through the flat and I spent the next 2 hours with the 'dry boak'.
A big sign saying 'Do NOT shit in my toilet' might have done the trick.

MechanicalTheatre · 13/03/2013 22:13

A cork?

alemci · 13/03/2013 22:28

It is a bit irrational and I always have tissues. TBH i wouldn't want to do it in a friends house but sometimes people have to.

Also she is probably giving herself health problems by using so much bleach. I like a clean house but i think the lady we are discussing needs to get a life outside her house. I know that is what the programme is trying to achieve.

sneezingwakesthebaby · 13/03/2013 23:22

I haven't seen tonight's episode (saving it for tomorrow) but many of those people do suffer from a mental health condition so its not as simple as her getting a life outside of her home. I would love to have the option of not doing some stuff that makes me seem as mad as a box of frogs but that's the problem with OCD. I know its bonkers to do something, everyone else knows its bonkers to do something but I can't control the compulsion to do something. And phew do I feel lucky to have friends who understand a MH condition and still consider me a friend despite not being able to poop in my loo.

kittyandthegoldenfontanelles · 14/03/2013 05:50

Put a grill or a mesh over the toilet so wee can pass through but poo would just sit there like a shit barbeque.

Longdistance · 14/03/2013 06:36

Give them a cork, on entry to your home???

MidnightMasquerader · 14/03/2013 06:44

What do people think the poo is going to do...?

Shout out for his poo mates down in the sewer, burst out of the bowl in a line-up and high-kick the night away in a cancan extravaganza?

saintmerryweather · 14/03/2013 06:55

I think i just wouldnt visit that house. if i need to go i need to go

lurkedtoolong · 14/03/2013 08:25

And we all thought the user name was Compo's Hat - nope Compo... actually best not....

melika · 14/03/2013 08:53

I agree I don't think I have a friend that unwelcoming and wierd.

If you have to go, you have to go. It's not like you can have a malicious poo!

catlady1 · 14/03/2013 09:08

I used to be mortified at the very idea of pooing in someone else's toilet.

Then I started going to house parties and discovered the phenomenon that is the "beer shits."

I don't think I could do it just casually though, it would have to be about to fall out of my arse whether I was on the toilet or not.

I don't mind people pooing in my toilet, although it rarely happens. I had an ex though that would do huge whopping great floaters that wouldn't flush, and then just close the lid on it and I dunno, hope it dissolved or something. It didn't.

SamuelWestsMistress · 14/03/2013 10:21

Ooh we a "tips on how to poo in public" thread...

Flush as you poo, the smell doesn't linger so much.

Line the bowl with a little toilet roll before you poo. This way there will be minimal skid marks and no one will hear any "plopping" from bottom to bowl.

Always make sure there is a toilet brush near by for poo stained emergencies. If the owner of the toilet hasn't got enough respect to leave a brush it means they don't respect you, so it is advisable to leave the building immediately and cut all future contact.

If your worried about others hearing you pass wind then remember to manually part your bum cheeks with your hands. Please be aware that there is the one in one hundred chance that this may accidentally amplify the sound.

Fakebook · 14/03/2013 10:28

put this sign up opposite the toilet

LadyPessaryPam · 14/03/2013 10:33

Bingdweller To this day, can't believe he bought the flat and even paid £10k over the asking price!!!

It wasn't Mark Oaten was it?

alemci · 14/03/2013 11:01

Yes, I see Sneezing, I understand about the MH aspect and you sum it up very well. I know it can't be easy being enslaved to OCD.

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