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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to do no babyproofing whatsoever?

126 replies

MogwaiTheGremlin · 13/03/2013 19:20

DS (8 months) has just started crawling and every single person has reacted by saying 'ooooh time to babyproof your house'. Maybe I'm thick but I have no idea how to babyproof a house - surely it's virtually impossible?
Ours is split level so we'd need about 5 stair gates, endless door/cupboard keep-shut thingys and god knows what else. Aside from all the hassle, i don't want to live in fort bloody knox! Plus I'm sure DS would find the one thing I hadn't 'proofed' to bump into/chew/destroy.
Our cleaning products are already stored in a cupboard well out of reach so I am planning to leave everything as it is and over time teach DS how to negotiate his way through our home. And in the meantime I'll supervise him at all times.
My NCT class looked at me as if i was the most neglectful mum ever when i admitted this. So am I being unreasonable or just incredibly naive?!

OP posts:
ceeveebee · 13/03/2013 22:59

Yes, I am terrified of a hinge injury with my twins too - DD is constantly sticking her fingers in the gap and I am terrified that DS will slam the door on her. We have doorstops and just have to remember to use them (the foam u shapes no good as the gap in the hinge is so big that fingers could still be trapped even with one of those on)

FamiliesShareGerms · 13/03/2013 23:00

My NCT post natal group leader said something like the only thing you have to do is put a fire guard over an open fire, the rest is optional depending on your house, stuff and children.

We only lifted a few things out if reach, I think. I'm rubbish at locks on cupboards etc anyway

AnnIonicIsoTronic · 14/03/2013 06:09

To be fair - I am talking about 'incremental' babyproofing.

Things like blind cords,I always knot them out of reach withiut even thinking.

PureedGoodness · 14/03/2013 06:19

It sounds like a good way to teach them the dangers. My mum didnt baby proof anything when we were children (obviously moved bleach etc out of reach) but she taught us to climb stairs safely and watched us like you intend to with your lo. Rather than barricade everything up or move all untouchable items (photoframes etc) out of the way doesnt help in teaching them right from wrong. And learning to not touch adult items.

That said I think i will get a stair gate for ours!!!

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 14/03/2013 07:15

We had a stair gate but only because the stairs are in the living room and i didnt want to spend my life chasing him up the stairs while trying to sit on my arse watching tv but we have left a lot of ornamants (sp?) Out and its been pretty much alright. I think it pretty much depends on the child

ClairesTravellingCircus · 14/03/2013 07:55

I agree nokidshere

I am also in awe of all these babies who will just listen when you say "no"!

My dts finds it hilarious when I say no and just keeps on doing whatever he was doing, dtg doesn't even acknowledge me and just goes on (and yes her hearing is fine!)

I just couldn't do ANYTHING without some safety measures in place, they destroy the house!

A friend's dh was dead against stairgates he was also of the opinion that "you just teach them to come down safely".

Then she went away for a weekend and came back to a stairgate and a toothless child Smile

GirlOutNumbered · 14/03/2013 08:08

Clairestravellilngcircus.... If you say no to everything, he will just ignore you. The trick is to distract them from anything thats a small danger and anything that is really dangerous, you just yell NO, bang! Or NO sharp! It gives them such a shock, they don't do it again.

Obviously though that worked for my children and I know they are all different, I'm just saying what worked and pointing out that I didn't follow them round saying no to everything.

Nicolaeus · 14/03/2013 08:26

We vaguely babyproofed when DS was crawling and had to do more when he started walking at 10 months because I got so fed up of saying no.

Basically we moved wires out of reach, put a cupboard lock on the one with dangerous stuff in and thats about it. Oh and i moved the medicine.

Ds is into everything but if its not dangerous we let him be. He is 17 moths and loves taking stuff out of drawers ten putting it all back again. There Are some cupboards that arent locked but he knows hes not allowed in. The main problem now is he can stand on tiptoes and stretch so we have to be careful what we leave lying around!

I forgot - we have very old doors with glass panes - we added safety film because that could be a serious accident, not just a bumped head...

ClairesTravellingCircus · 14/03/2013 08:28

Girl,

I have 4 kids, been there done that

I am just surprised as babies are nosy by instinct and their urge to explore tends to be stronger than any parental "nos". I have met very few babies/toddlers that are so compliant... I don't doubt they exist, there just seems to be an awful lot in this thread Smile
My no are reserved for the tv/skybox cat bowl, they have free reign to savage the place, drawers full of plastic ware, tea towels, etc they can empty.
It DOESN'T STOP THEM!

fairylightsinthesnow · 14/03/2013 08:40

I think it depends on the stairs as to whether you need gates. In our old house they were wooden, slippery and open tread so we had stair gates. When we moved they were normal and carpeted so we didn't bother and spent some time every day training DD (DC2) to use them. It was also because our son was 2.5 and could use the stairs and would have been very frustrated to find his way blocked. It just means that for a few months you might have to shut them in the bathroom with you fir instance if you are having a shower. Other than that, it is really just common sense about moving stuff and being ok with a few minor incidents. DS really hurt himself tripping over and bashing himself with a plastic car - they'll always find a way Smile

SolomanDaisy · 14/03/2013 08:47

I think the people who have babies who just obeyed 'no' tend to have significantly older children and fuzzy memories...

ceeveebee · 14/03/2013 08:51

My 16 mo twins obey 'no' but I only use it sparingly - just around the fireplace and the TV. I also used it successfully over Xmas where the tree remained untouched for the whole month. I'm ashamed to say I was so sharp when DS touched it the first time that he cried and never went near it again.

HumphreyCobbler · 14/03/2013 08:56

I also think that those whose children obeyed 'no' must think the rest of us are really stupid Hmm If it was that easy for us, that is what WE would have done too! Much easier to say no than to bother moving stuff or putting gates up.

Also there is the fireguard issue. I have always been very keen to push safety around the fire, been consistent with stating the danger etc but I still have a fireguard - what if the child falls or trips? Just being clear about the rules is not enough imo.

ClimbingPenguin · 14/03/2013 09:00

I'm quite lax with child-proofing but 16 month DS slipped when coming down the stairs the correct way and broke his leg. I've tended to be of the opinion that they will learn not to run into corners etc. We have no locks on cupboards or soft things, just stair gates (but I have been quite generous with their being open)

DD just seemed to move in a more careful way.

I think really safety stuff presents itself, you respond to what you feel you need as baby does things.

ClimbingPenguin · 14/03/2013 09:02

and I think nearly everyone with stairs will say your children will tumble down them at some point.

ClairesTravellingCircus · 14/03/2013 09:16

Climbing

The problem with that approach is that you never know when your child/baby will do something new.

As someone said upthread I doubt the children who climbed on windows/swallowed chemicals had ever attempted that before.

With some things the risk is just too high and not one I would want to regret. And I think something like a cupboard lock/safety catch is a minor inconvenience compared to the greater danger.

Of course they will still find a way of getting into trouble Wink, but if you cand find a way to prevent the most obvious/lethal accudents, why not?

And frankly I do not have the time to shadow their every move when I am trying to do stuff around the house, I'd rather leave them free to explore a room that has been babyproofed.

HorribleMother · 14/03/2013 09:25

No one wants to live in Fort Knox, but it's a good idea to have an area in your house where you feel you can leave them unsupervised briefly with a very low risk of trouble. It is very stressful to supervise them at all times, and pretty much impossible when you have 2+.

HorribleMother · 14/03/2013 09:29

It's all very fine to say "They'll soon learn to avoid XYZ" but if the cost of one encounter with XYZ is their eye/life/lots of stitches/hospitalisation/something you loved being broken into pieces or burnt to cinders to your immense fury/huge amounts of parental guilt/broken limb, it may be rather unkind (never mind foolish) to expect them to pay that price to learn so much the hard way.

GirlOutNumbered · 14/03/2013 09:34

What ever works for you is the key here.

Original poster
MogwaiTheGremlin · 14/03/2013 11:13

Right, I've written down everyone's recommendations and am going to crawl round the house on my hands and knees to look for dangers.
For now I'm just going to get the nursery door sorted so there is one safe place to leave ds and see how i get on.
thanks for all the top tips!

OP posts:
VisualiseAHorse · 14/03/2013 12:14

I do agree with training the baby not to touch things. We've been strict about this. He loved the Playstation cables, and kept going for them. So we trained him like this.
First time - LO no! (in firm voice)
Second time - LO NO! (louder voice) and knock hand away from object
Third time - LO NO! (loud voice), pick up and move away.

We very rarely have to use the pick up and move one now, and only use the knock hand away sometimes. He does go 'ARGGGG' and make like he's going to have a tantrum, but I just ignore him. It took a couple of weeks, but now (most of the time!) I'm able to just say 'LO no' and he will stop doing it.

moonfacebaby · 14/03/2013 12:14

Both of my DC are so bloody inquisitive that I've had to baby proof my house.....the word "no" just seems to inspire them to explore even more!

So, I have cupboard locks in my kitchen apart from on a cupboard with plastic stuff in it, so she gets a chance to explore. No stair gates yet as she can't get out of the room to get to the stairs.

Only other thing is socket covers.

It makes my life a lot easier - my youngest is a climber & rampant explorer so I have to have eyes in the back of my head anyhow.

GirlOutNumbered · 14/03/2013 12:29

The Which? report begins by highlighting the safety of plug sockets without covers, explaining that it is difficult for a child to get a shock from a normal plug socket.

By law, all plug sockets must have safety shutters that prevent children accessing the live terminals. This means that socket covers shouldn?t be necessary - even if children do stick their fingers into plug sockets, they won?t be touching any live wires.

In the opinion of the Electrical Safety Council (ESC), there is no "significant risk" to children from 13 Amp socket-outlets fully conforming to the product standard BS 1363. Having integral safety shutters, they are widely judged to be of the safest design currently installed in Europe, and the Electrical Safety Council is not aware of any incident data to suggest that there is any real or potential problem with this type of socket-outlet that would necessitate the use of socket covers.

minibmw2010 · 14/03/2013 12:53

We have stairgates leading upstairs and also one between the kitchen & utility room to stop DS (21 months) from getting into the washing machine/tumble drier.

Main problem I've found is with having locks on the kitchen units, when we now go to any friends who don't have them, to him it's like heaven and all he wants to do is get into the cupboard and empty it. I think we need to give him his own cupboard in our kitchen so he can empty it if he wants and maybe then he'll leave other peoples kitchens alone .. sigh ...

VikingLady · 14/03/2013 17:26

I have one stairgate in the living room, and arranged a playpen in front of the electrical cabling (for my laptop table to sit in). I work from home and can't always keep a close enough eye on DD. That's it, really. If I need to run and answer the door I take her with me.