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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take this money back from my sister?

58 replies

SofaKing · 13/03/2013 14:26

OK, background is dsis cannot get a bank account due to bad credit rating.
She was made redundant in November, and in December asked me if I would agree to open a bank account at my bank which she could use the overdraft of to fund Christmas, as she was due a payment of child tax credit after Christmas and could pay me back. I agreed eventually, after she said if I did not she would have no money to feed her DC until after Christmas.
She had a 300 pound overdraft which I paid off after Christmas when dh got his bonus. When she got her child tax credit money, she repaid me 160.
She then took money from the account, putting it overdrawn. I had to put the money back to avoid bank charges. When I asked her about it she apologised and told me to take the money back from the account when she was paid.
She has now taken money again, 30 pounds. I have topped up the account to avoid charges again but I am fuming
Would I bu to just take the money back when she is next paid?
I feel bad on some levels as she has no money at all and is a single parent, but I am a sahm and dh has a well paid job. At the same time she is taking the piss when I've done her a favour. I would love to close the account but before this she was getting the money paid into her daughters account and taking money from them instead, she and her husband are not working and have a dd, so they cannot afford to have her do this. I can afford it but don't see why I should bankroll her.
Aibu,and can anyone suggest anything else I can do to stop her taking money without asking which won't impact on other family members?

OP posts:
Inertia · 13/03/2013 23:29

This whole business of your sister having bank accounts in other people's names might well be seen as fraudulent. I think you need to close the account, and advise your niece to do the same for the account she holds.

MooseyMouse · 14/03/2013 05:05

If my brother was struggling financially and I had a bit of spare money I'd give it to him and wouldn't expect it back. I know he'd do the same for me too.

Morloth · 14/03/2013 07:40

I think you might be skating along the edge of fraud here.

There is a reason the bank wont give her an account.

Close the account. Stop being a mug.

shemademedoit · 14/03/2013 07:46

Close the account and write off the money she owes you. She's your sister, and you've said you're in a more comfortable position that she is. That said, she took the money without permission, didn't pay you back when she said she would, and will probably do it again. Don't let her: close or limit the account.

Viviennemary · 14/03/2013 12:54

I agree with people who are saying opening bank accounts for your sister in your name could well be seen as fraudulent. Close the account at once. And it's up to you to decide whether you want to be paid back or not. You just simply cannot afford to get a bad credit rating because of your sister. That would be my advice.

cjel · 14/03/2013 15:21

Moosey I think the point is that this isn't just helping out this is a sister who thinks OPs money is hers. She has history of not managing money and this is clearly a one way arrangement. It isn't a bit of spare money that OP has chosen to give is is money that sister is stealing from her.

iloveshortshorts · 14/03/2013 15:30

I think with bad credit she could open a Credit Union account. Is there a Credit Union around where she is?

autumnmum · 14/03/2013 15:51

Everything you need to know about basic bank accounts is here

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/basic-bank-accounts

I lived overseas for a long time and due to a mistake at my UK bank I had zero credit rating when I moved back. I had a basic account with Nationwide until I was able to sort out my credit score.

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