AIBU STBXH introduced 2yo to OW without bothering to mention it to me.

[Cambam2010]

My 2yo DS started a random conversation in the car today about his day out with Daddy & Andie. I seperated from DSs dad last Sept. STBXH has had various girlfriends since about June (mostly met online) and it was agreed that our DS wouldn't be introduced to them unless it was something serious.

I don't care what he gets up to or with who but I really would've liked to have been told that he was introducing his lastest girlfriend to our DS and not have found out by accident 2 weeks later. And to add salt to the wound, my MIL was also introduced to her at the same time. The time in question was the first time that my DS had stayed the night with his daddy.

Just feel gutted that no one thought to tell me. It's me that has to answer any questions that my DS might have.

Ok, so we'll agree that he doesn't have to tell me anything. A reasonable person would, but it isn't a given right.

Perhaps after previous discussions with ex where it had been discussed that he wouldn't introduce DS to anyone unless it was serious, I was expecting him to be in a relationship for more then 2 months before he considered it serious enough to arrange a meeting.

Cambam I had this situation in December although my DCs are older (9 and 6). STBXH took them out for the day and introduced them to OW (she was the OW who he left me for), dropped them home, had a bit of small talk with me then left without mentioning it. I found out because 9 year old DD was in tears that evening and I could not work out what was wrong. It took me about an hour to get it out of her.

I was furious and confronted him about it. His response was to shrug and say he didn't realise it would be a problem. I think he should have told me so I could have prepared myself for any questions the DCs had.

I posted on here at the time and was basically told he has no obligation to tell me what he does when he has the children.

It's a horrible situation isn't it.

Bit surprised people think that your son spending time with a new partner is none of your beeswax really. I wonder how they'd feel in your situation. Still, we all have our own views. I'm not going to get into any AIBU rows over it.

I hope you manage to find a way forward that is comfortable for you and DS.

I suppose the question comes down to whether you trust him as a parent to act with your child's best interest at heart. Unfortunately, once you have chosen to procreate with someone you have imbued them with an equal level of responsibility for the child concerned, whether they deserve it or not. Would it help if you tried to think of it as a weighing scale with everything your husband does weighed against the potential downside of your son never knowing his father? Perhaps if you think about it in those terms it might seem easier to handle, and although I can completely see your point, if you really don't trust your husband to do the right thing then that is the alternative you are looking at.