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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Adult birthday ungratefulness

14 replies

Weasleyismyking · 13/03/2013 07:16

I am being completely unreasonable and ungrateful and you'll all tell me so but... what do I do now.
Birthday present off DH was very nearly what I asked for, apart from it's the colour I said I didn't want. It's monogrammed so can't be returned. Do I have to use it today, meeting up tonight after work for dinner, before putting in the back of the cupboard for the next 10 years? Or does it never get used at all and it's over £100(!) down the drain.

Or do I have another child and give it the same initials as me then pass it on? (Half joking...)

By the way, he asked what I wanted and I gave him 3 colour options that I really loved. he gets quite stressed about gift giving and is still learning about it as his family don't really do it. I don't need a massive fuss about my birthday but he asked and then ignored and has now wasted a lot of money.

AIBU to never use it or should I try and not hate it today?

OP posts:

pinkpaws · 13/03/2013 07:22

Morning it depends what it is you will have to use it at least once lol . Men are a law on to themselves at time why ask you what you want then not follow your choice guide. So i dont think you are being spoilt or ungrateful . Maybe it will grow on you if not tuck it away if he is anything like my dh he will never notice.

TanteRose · 13/03/2013 07:23

what is it?

MisselthwaiteManor · 13/03/2013 07:24

Learn to love it. What is it?

Original poster

Weasleyismyking · 13/03/2013 07:28

It's a bag. Should have put that in original post sorry!

OP posts:

ChairmanWow · 13/03/2013 07:30

You could be writing about my DH. His family never make a fuss of each other and sometimes even buy their own presents and just get the money back from each other. It drives me mad! My DH knows he's a bit crap so always keeps gift receipts and wouldn't do something like monogramme.

Is it clothing? You'll need to wear once I reckon. If not then what sort of thing is it? It's hard to advise.

Could you put in on eBay with a reserve price and if you can recoup enough money buy the one you wanted? It does mean he might notice, but then it sounds like you were very clear when you gave him options.

I dream of having one of those DHs who buys amazing surprise presents

ChairmanWow · 13/03/2013 07:31

Whoops, cross posted!

Difficult with a bag. Is the monogramme obvious?

TanteRose · 13/03/2013 07:32

I also now want to know the colour

use it tonight, and make a point of using it every now and again

maybe it will grow on you?

Original poster

Weasleyismyking · 13/03/2013 07:34

I am currently learning to love a necklace he gave me for Christmas stating that he knew it wasn't my style but he liked it.

I was warned about pretending to love gifts before as it might encourage items that only end up at the charity shop.

ho hum, shrugs on learn to love face

OP posts:

TanteRose · 13/03/2013 07:36

"he knew it wasn't my style but he liked it"

OK now that is crap

ask him for a wad of cash next time - or go with him to buy something

MisselthwaiteManor · 13/03/2013 07:38

I think you should buy him the bag you really wanted for his birthday. It's probably not his style but you really like it.

Kittenkatzen · 13/03/2013 07:40

I agree with tante I'm afraid, you're just going to have to learn to love it! If its any consolation my DH has done almost the same to me more than once - most recently at Christmas when he bought me a bag with no shoulder strap after I specifically said I hated the over the arm style Thing is he knows I love handbags and likes to treat me to them as I don't do it often myself so I can't bring myself to say I don't like it! I've not successfully learned to love it but I have got used to it. Kind of.

Just tell him you're saving it "for best" or that it only goes with certain outfits/colours to excuse the not using it too often!

Original poster

Weasleyismyking · 13/03/2013 07:40

That's what his family do chairman! They buy their own present after their birthday then get the money.

it's just brown so not hideous and easy to not mind but will never be a favourite.

OP posts:

Original poster

Weasleyismyking · 13/03/2013 07:44

You've all helped me move on to not minding it, thanks.

youheardof I am definitely going to try that one!

OP posts:

WestieMamma · 13/03/2013 08:59

I go shopping with my husband and drop really subtle hints like 'OMG I love this bag and this colour, a clever husband would buy this for their wife's birthday while she was looking at the shoes over there' and then I wander off to look at the shoes over there. It's worked so far. I started doing this after I got a new colander for valentines days and a garden ornament made out of a car exhaust pipe for my birthday.

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