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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to confront this man-child at work

18 replies

lecce · 13/03/2013 05:38

I am a teacher and, as part of our performance management, have had to observe a colleague who is slightly senior to me in our department. I have never observed him before. He 'always' gets outstanding and, tbh, is very boastful about it. I knew he would be expecting the same again but also knew that the lessons he delivers to observers are very different from the ones he normally does. He is very much a 'chalk and talk' teacher and this is not considered outstanding by current OFSTED critersia. We are expecting the big O any day, so observations are really to check that we are ready.

Anyway, the lesson was worse than I expected and I graded it two throughout (good). Tbh, I think I may have awarded some 3s (requires improvement) had he been unknown to me, and I realise this is wrong, but he is known in the department for sulking and storming around when upset about something.

When I gave him the feedback form he refused to discuss it, didn't even appear to read it and simply stated that he disagreed totally. He then didn't speak to anyone for a day. Late yesterday, he began speaking to others but still hasn't spoken to me.

My HoD is sympathetic, agrees with me based on what I have told her of the lesson (and has had a simialr experience with him herself when he refused to accept he wasn't outstanding) but thinks I should just wait for him to get over it and then forget about it and 'get back to normal'.

So, eventually he will start speaking to me and then we just pretend the whole thing never happened. I hate confrontation but am starting to get really pissed off now with his childishness and arrogance. I don't really know what I should say, but AIBU to want to say something and not just let him get away with this behaviour?

OP posts:

SPBInDisguise · 13/03/2013 05:46

You could email him an additional piece of feedback that you've since noticed "struggles to accept feedback on own performance and successfully identify and implement improvements".
Honestly, what an idiot. Being able to accept feedback graciously and actually consider whether it appplies is when you stop being a child and start being a grown up, in working terms. And it is hugely beneficial.

BrendaBlethyn · 13/03/2013 05:48

Why do you have to do this alone ? Where's your support?

YokoUhOh · 13/03/2013 06:01

I was in the exact same position a year ago; SMT set up these observations with a former Ofsted inspector and I ended up observing my line manager, who refused to meet me for feedback!! I told the member of SMT responsible for the scheme but nothing happened and it all blew over (this particular lesson was outstanding btw). I believe that these manchildren get away with stomping around with a face like a slapped arse because no-one ever stands up to them...I would love it if you said, 'did you mean to be such a baby about this?' in front of the whole department but you might end up feeling more awkward than your 'outstanding' colleague...

HollyBerryBush · 13/03/2013 06:06

Are you sure you weren't looking for fault? You don't appear to like him much anyway.

dolcelatte · 13/03/2013 06:09

I agree with Holly - it sounds as though you are jealous of him OP.

SPBInDisguise · 13/03/2013 06:12

She gave him good throughout

neontetra · 13/03/2013 06:22

The head of department should speak to him about this. As she agrees your judgement was correct, she needs to ensure he takes it on board. I know it is daunting, but I think you should also speak to him alone, and tell him how disrespected his behaviour makes you feel. I have to do similar today - a colleague spoke to me aggressively in front of the rest of SLT. I hate confrontation, but that I am not having!

Original poster

lecce · 13/03/2013 06:41

Thank you for the replies - it's reassuring, if a little worrying, to know there are other people who behave similarly!

I can understand why it appears I may be jealous of him, but I'm really not. Fwiw, like him, I have had outstanding for all my headteacher observations, so we are equal on paper. The difference is, however, I don't go around showing off about it. I am under no illusions that I am outstanding every lesson, though I think I am a good teacher overall. He considers himself outstanding through and through on the basis of these observations and that, frankly, is ridiculous. We are a small department and it is very easy to see that the way he performs for obs (HT ones) is nothing like his normal style. That's fine, we all do it to an extent, but don't boast about it.

I will admit I was looking for fault in a way as he is asking for a fall in the way he normally behaves, but I was also dreading it. I never expected in a million years it would be as bad as it was - no pupil activity for the first 20 minutes, resources on the interactive board that most couldn't see, absolutely no stretching of the most able pupils. Yet they did peer-assessment and were all waving around post-its at the end saying they had gone up a level! He glanced at me and said "Well, class X, that's outstanding!" How manipulative. Tbh, I think I was remiss in giving him a good.

But no, tbh, I don't like him much as this is another example of this kind of behaviour from him, and I think it totally unprofessional.

OP posts:

TheFallenNinja · 13/03/2013 07:07

So you thought you'd knock him down a peg or two. Hmmm

PurplePidjin · 13/03/2013 07:08

Raise a grievance against him for bullying?

Original poster

lecce · 13/03/2013 07:12

Oh ffs, did you read my description of the lesson? Should I have graded that outstanding because I knew he expected it? Are you a teacher - does it sound outstanding? If he genuinely thinks I have been unfair, surely he should discuss it with me, with our HoD present, so he can put his views across? Or are we saying that sulking should be appeased? Of course, if the lesson had been outstanding I would have said so. I'm not the unprofessional one.

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 13/03/2013 07:24

I think I must have ben very unfortunate through all the years my children have been in school (three primaries and three secondaries) I find teachers to be quite child like about a lot of things. Far too heirarchical and point scoring from each other all the time. It is the most infantile work place ever. They tenaciously cling on to little bits of power - or try and aquire them at the expense of others.

flippinada · 13/03/2013 07:49

Not sure what you can do in this situation lecce. But I sympathise. I agree his behaviour is very childish.

Ignore the goady posts.

complexnumber · 13/03/2013 08:06

So you did not exactly enter the class with an open mind, and you saw what you were looking for. Possibly a case of confirmation bias?

However, I do think it is not a good idea to ask colleagues to appraise each other in this way, it can be very awkward for both parties and I do not see how any feedback can be seen as being impartial.

BOF · 13/03/2013 08:21

I think this might have been better posted in The Staffroom to get more of the informed replies here rather than the knee jerk responses of AIBU warriors, tbh. Perhaps ask for it to be moved? I know you shouldn't have to, as you'd think people could extrapolate from general professional contexts, but, yunno...

HenriettaChicken · 13/03/2013 08:25

As a teacher I'd say it sounds satisfactory with some good features. You were generous.

CadleCrap · 13/03/2013 08:29

Can't remember which one, but there is a standard about acting on feedback. He is failing to do this.

YANBU,I know the sort you are talking about. IMO you don't sound jealous, but aware of your own strengths

javabean · 13/03/2013 08:37

Not a teacher but sounds like your HOD needs to step up instead of ignoring the issue. She is making all the right noises to you purely so you won't get upset/annoyed with her, but what's the use of that to anyone?

And if what you say about this other guy is true then surely whoever got you to observe him was setting you up for this exact situation? Maybe not intentionally or in a malicious way, but someone could have seen this situation arising?

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