to find it very hard to find time for my friends now i work FT

[fromparistoberlin]

I am just so tired! and I am starting to feel like i am a shit friend

But

work FT, very long hours
ergo, weekends like to see kids and have time for them
evening am frankly too tired to have phone chats, after dinner/homework/bathtime
weekends, by the time i get through day with kids/weekend housework I dont even find time to call....
then i fall asleep

i seem to be maintaining friendships via text message

am I crap? is this normal???

Nope. It's normal.
I've returned to working part-time. Couldn't handle working full time.

We were all knackered and like you, I just didn't have energy for my friends.
I don't think it's healthy. Friendships are really important.
So, I've gone back to working less hours, closer to home, with less responsibility and less money.

You know what? we're so f*cking happy! and skint.

Totally normal imo. If you don't do FB, then it is a good way to keep up with peoples lives.

Also, if your friends have kids, then meet up at the weekend and do something together - softplay, farm park or the swings then you get to chat while they play

iused, I am only breadwinner so thats a no go!!!
CM, yes I am way more social summertime...maybe its the long winter making me feel likke this

thank god I like my work colleagues!

Yup, me too. Working full time with kids is a workd away from doing it without. No more drinks after work, catching up on sleep, free time at the weekend etc. I do sometimes feel like a crap friend, but most people I know seem to understand the juggling act and we text and phone more and see each other less.

It's normal. You're not a bad friend, just a busy, tired one.

Same for me too. I only work 3 days a week, but on my days 'off' I have two 15 mo twins to look after, there is not much time for chatting. Have been playing voicemail tennis with my best friend for a couple of weeks now, we just never get to talk!

Its normal.

I do put effort in though, and sometimes it IS an effort.

For the last year or so, I've met up with a group of about 4-8 friends at one of our houses for dinner every other month, the same people are always invited, they can't always come but we do get to touch base with each other and I've found no matter how tired I am I really REALLY enjoy these evenings of laughter (proper belly laughter) with a bunch of women I hardly see at any other time. We've all agreed that we don't have to think about birthdays, don't have to feel bad if we don't text a lot, and we set the date for the next meet on the night... it's become almost as important as family time and solo time to me.

We also make an effort to meet up with our friends and their children, usually BBQ's in the summer.

Not living in friend's pockets isn't being a crap mate, it's being a busy person. If they had a crisis would you find time for them? If you would then you have nothing to worry about.

I have had to shave off a few potential friends from my 'effort' list, they're lovely people but I just don't have the time for more without compromising other important people.

completely normal - what aldiwhore said - get a bit more structured with organising the get togethers at times you can make them.