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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to slap DH smug face

30 replies

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 20:33

My ds parent interview today DH couldnt come never has done always working today no diffterent . My lovely child has ASD and struggles at school a little . Anyway went on my own all his teachers said great thing he is doing very well i am so PROUD .Came home to impart good news to dh . But he was going out to work again couldnt talk and just pulled apart any of the lovely things that where said he even said at one point are you sure they have the right child i want to punch him in his smug face. He is so hard on him and always wants more i just want him to be proud and pleased like i am . I ring him at work and scream ASS HOLE at him but that would be a bad idea right?

OP posts:

nailak · 12/03/2013 20:34

Mama1980 · 12/03/2013 20:38

Nope

ChairmanoftheBored · 12/03/2013 20:40

Sounds like a reasonable thing to do if you ask me.

jackstini · 12/03/2013 20:40

NO!
Is it his child too? He is not acting like a nice dad or stepdad

Wants4 · 12/03/2013 20:41

Ring him, ask him what he's doing, then pick holes in everything he says.
Then tell him what an arsehole he was. And no excuses for next PT meeting.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 12/03/2013 20:41

It sounds like you are utterly fed up with him.

Glad you parents evening went so well

EverybodysSootyEyed · 12/03/2013 20:44

Well done your ds. I'm so glad he's doing well.

I'm really sorry that your dh doesn't share your pride. Could you ask the teacher to put down in writing what was said?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 12/03/2013 20:46

Not unreasonable at all.

it's really damaging to a child when their parent clearly has no pride in them.

I think your husband is being an arse.

Original poster

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 20:55

Thank you all yes its his child his only son . I think he thinks i make it up that the teachers are pleased . Part of me thinks if i came home with bad news he would be more inclined to believe me. 3 of his teachers said they wished they had a boy like mine it also made me weep with joy . Till i got home and it turned to rage thank you for your input i think i just needed to rant a bit.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 12/03/2013 20:56

Are you going to do anything about it ?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 12/03/2013 20:58

He can't imagine anyone being pleased with his child?

That's one of the saddest things I've read.

Your poor son. He deserves better than that.

Original poster

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 20:59

OP posts:

Original poster

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 21:01

Yes going to take my ds out for a treat at the weekend and let dh work which is what he does best

OP posts:

SirBoobAlot · 12/03/2013 21:04

Well done to your son, sounds like a wonderful parents evening.

Your H sounds like a negative arsehole with no pride in his son... :(

EverybodysSootyEyed · 12/03/2013 21:07

Do you have other children?

It sound like he is struggling to accept your sons asd. Is there anyone you could convince him to talk to about that?

Alternatively he is just a first class asshole who needs a swift kick up the behind if he wants to have any sort of decent father son relationship.

Original poster

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 21:14

We have a dd also who he thinks the sun rises on he loves her like nothing else. As do i but she is diffterent she can cope and is just better at day to day life. DH does love ds very much in his own way but at times like tonight he is so CRAP its not true thank god non of this was said in front of ds .

OP posts:

myroomisatip · 12/03/2013 21:15

Oh dear. :(

Things are bad enough now but I am thinking about the future. What is going to happen when your son picks up on his Dads opinion? This could potentially be very damaging.

Awww bless your child, and you :)

AnyFucker · 12/03/2013 21:17

You think your son doesn't realise ? Are you sure ?

AnyFucker · 12/03/2013 21:17

He is also damaging your dd, by treating her as the Golden Child.

myroomisatip · 12/03/2013 21:19

AF.... Absolutely.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 12/03/2013 21:20

Oh he knows hes treated differently, children always know.

Hugglepuff · 12/03/2013 21:22

It would be lovely if your ds's teachers could write brief comments on a card for your son to say how impressed they are by his progress. That would be a lovely reminder for him to look at and a kick in the pants for your dh!

EverybodysSootyEyed · 12/03/2013 21:22

Yes - I have a friend whose dad was always disappointed in him. He spent his whole school career trying, and failing, to please his dad. He now has a terrible relationship with his dad and low self esteem.

You really need to pull him up on it.

How old is ds?

Original poster

pinkpaws · 12/03/2013 21:27

I am very blessed that my ds and dd are very close she loves to bits and looks out for him always she will not go out or spend time with dh unless ds goes to. We as a team protect him from any all things that could hurt him. She is a star . so i hope the mix is about right who knows. But think i will pick my moment and have a conversation with dh its long over due.

OP posts:

Hissy · 12/03/2013 21:34

You know Pinkpaws, I wondered why you were so 'off' on the devious family thread. Now I see you've got more than enough on your plate.

Your own dd is being exaulted, and your ds being made out as not good enough.

Poor ds, poor you, and poor dd; this will ruin you all. You don't see yourself as in a dysfunctional family, as victims of imbalance, injustice and meanness, but you are.

Trust your instincts on this one. Ask, listen, ask some more, think and mull over your options and priorities.

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