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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed photos I sent been put on Facebook without checking with me

8 replies

Igloo100 · 12/03/2013 19:49

Without going into details but my exH's brother occasionally sends emails asking how my DC are doing. My DC were stopped seeing their father by the court due to welfare issues and choice (older ones). His brother has been a bit hopeless as an uncle but I haven't ever held it against him too much- he tries but isn't great with kids. Could try harder though now eldest are reaching 18+. He lives far away but could message them etc. I am also always suspicious of his motives and how much he is telling exH, but go along the lines I don't tell him anything I wouldn't be happy/it would be unsafe to tell ex.

The other day ex's brother emailed asking for some up to date photos of my DC, explaining his wife was keen to see what they look like and she wanted to update the photos in their lounge. I send a few from DDs leavers ball and a wedding we went to last year of just the DC together.

Today DD got a facebook tag from her grandmother - turns out these photos had been put onto facebook. DD was furious.There were comments under them with her uncle making out he sees her regularly and her dad who she refuses to talk to had commented 'my beautiful girl' and others complimented him on what a good job he'd done with her. (they obviously don't know the reality!)

I feel mixed- I sent the photos by email so effectively was passing on the rights of use into their hands but I feel a bit let down. He actively told me they were for their lounge, not that he was going to share them with all his facebook friends. He is aware of the bad relationship DC have with their father, and everything he put them through, but doesn't seem to have thought of that.

AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 12/03/2013 19:54

Don't get worked up about it. They are just photos. He probably wanted to share them with his family. Jo different from his brother seeing them in his house or on a pc in my opinion

deleted203 · 12/03/2013 20:00

I would be fuming. I'd feel he got these photos under false pretenses - and I would be emailing him asking him to remove them immediately and telling him that DD was absolutely devastated to have photos of her on FB without her permission.

I'd be reluctant to have any further contact with him, TBH. There doesn't appear to be any need to other than your basic politeness.

DontmindifIdo · 12/03/2013 20:04

E-mail him and say your DD would like them taken down. If they are still there within a week, contact facebook and ask them to be removed.

Sirzy · 12/03/2013 20:06

If I was your DD i would be tempted to comment at the bottom of them telling them she hasn't given permission and if they care so much they should bother to contact her etc.

ThreeWheelsGood · 12/03/2013 20:06

I agree with dontmind - tell him they are your photos, you didn't want then shared on Facebook. If no action, report using Facebook's complaints process (no idea if that's work though).

Charlesroi · 12/03/2013 20:26

This is digital age rudeness in the extreme. Email him and insist he takes them down, as he had told you that the photos for him and his wife only(not some bloke he's 'friends' with because they used to go to the same pub in 1989).

You can try complaining to Facebook, but I doubt you'd get anywhere. What is it about Facebook that makes people behave like total wankers? Sigh.
I wouldn't be sending him any more family news or photos either.

OkayHazel · 12/03/2013 20:51

Daughter should be commenting 'Really Dad? I haven't seen you in long. You've not done a wonderful job, Mum has'.

InLoveWithDavidTennant · 12/03/2013 20:56

i agree with the others. tell him to take them off fb. if that doesnt work i would suggest getting dd to comment on the photo with a few home truths... then get you and your dc's to defriend that side of the family and have no further contact with them

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