I work f/t and am a single parent to the DCs age 11 and 9. Currently spend 2.5 hours a day (in total) commuting to work, which is manageable but tiring.
I am on the brink of relocating with the DCs to the town where I work but feel uncertain about whether it is for the best or not and I don't know whose interests to put first.
The DCs' dad lives much closer to the town where I work than the place we live now. He wants us to move. All of my friends live closer to the town where I work. I would like to live there. It would mean I could leave later and get home earlier from work.
BUT at the moment I live near my parents and they have the kids after school and in holidays and are very flexible about it. Also DS has been offered a place at an excellent private school here. (The state option is not very good). His dad is dead against this school for the sole reason that it is even further away from him than our home is and so will be inconvenient for him on the few occasions he has to go there. Also he knows that as teenage friendships take hold, the DCs will prefer to spend weekends at home near friends rather than go a long way away to where he lives.
Dad has offered to pay for a different school in the new area. We haven't been offered a place there yet but if we are then I have to decide fast. DD is fine for school place either way.
There are lots of social and convenience reasons to move, and I'm under intense pressure from the DCs' dad to do so. However, it will be hard being a single mum with no family support and maybe I should just keep doing the commuting, to keep the benefit of my parents' help. On the other hand, do I really want to be so dependent on my parents for the next 8-10 years through the DCs' secondary school? Also, if I do not move, relations with the DCs' dad will be impossible. He is insistent that we should move.
AIBU to move? Or AIBU to stay?