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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Family changing rooms (PETTY)

72 replies

toobreathless · 12/03/2013 16:49

Perfectly happy to be told AIBU if I am, 36 weeks pregnant so my grip on reality and reasonableness is possibly a little loose

Had a run in with the water babies brigade at my local pool yesterday. Had a lovely swim with DD (22 months) and played with another mum and toddler boy who we had never met before. DD and the wee boy played beautifully. Stayed in a bit longer as they were having so much fun then we all got out and grabbed a family cubicle each (there are 3)

I strapped DD into the toddler chair and was getting changed when someone bangs on the door. Ignored it and 2 mins later it happens again. Open door to find 2 irritate mothers standing holding small babies (3/4 months) saying they need to use the changing table (also in cubicle) to change their babies as lesson was due to start in 15 mins and more mums would be there soon. I explained I needed to change DD on the table & finish getting myself changed, said would be as quick as possible and shut door.

So carried on to audible mutterings from outside cubicles. In the
end just took my time and changed at usual speed (15 mins for both of us) and left as quickly as possible, was pretty quick as mum and toddler boy were still changing in next cubicle. Came out to find lesson had started & 3 mums were still stood there which surprised me, there are 2 tables in the toilets!

Petty I know but curious AIBU? Should I have given them the cubicle? I figured being 36 weeks pregnant and toddler in tow gave me just as much 'right' to use family cubicles or should they be for smaller babies?

OP posts:

Startail · 12/03/2013 19:43

YANBU
Benches make perfectly good changing tables.

As for faffing, I'm sorry not all of us have showers. DHs promised to install showered when we were pregnant, but DD was about 8 when it happened. That's a lot of washing and conditioning at swimming pools.

I was sodded if I was running baths when hot water at the pool is free.

Startail · 12/03/2013 19:44

We were pregnant???

AmandaPayne · 12/03/2013 21:34

It depends on the faffing I think.

DD1's swimming lesson has two showers in the girls changing rooms and about 6-8 girls all coming in at the same time (private pool in a school so no public using the facilities at the same time). The changing rooms are baltic. One mother routinely manages to get her daughter in there first, then lets her stay under the shower for ages. I have given up showering DD, and the last twice her daughter has still been under the shower when and only just getting around to shampoo as DD1 is fully dressed and leaving. That's just selfish. Shampoo by all means, but fast and with purpose.

If it's just one shower in a big row in public pools, pah, stay under there all day for all I care.

MsPepperminCreams · 12/03/2013 22:11

YANBU. You should be prepared for there to be no changing tables and bring an extra towel to change them on the floor or bench.

It takes longer than 15 mins for me and my 4 year old to get dressed after swimming. We're lucky that our swimming pool has single, family, and double changing rooms, so we just use a double.

CommanderShepard · 12/03/2013 23:05

Hmm - DD has just never noticeably leaked through the disposable Huggies thing and the happy nappy. Perhaps I am lucky there!

YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 12/03/2013 23:09

When I took ds to water babies there was no changing tables in the changing room. All 8 of us mums changed our lo's on the floor. Shock horror

MummytoKatie · 12/03/2013 23:15

I am really impressed at all the mums who can change themselves and their toddler in 5 minutes. It usually takes me that long just to find my pants!

(Can I blame being pregnant?)

Lovesswimming · 13/03/2013 18:48

Hi Toobreathless,
I'm not connected to Waterbabies but I do run other baby swim classes elsewhere in the country. if I was you I would email waterbabies and let them know (especially if it happens again) If I was the teacher I'd be upset at my parents being rude to another pool user. its important to me that we all use the facility with respect (I wouldnt want to lose my pool hire due to a few rude parents causing problems). it is then up to waterbabies and their teacher/franchise owner to politely ask parents to be respectful to all pool users. Also if there are only 3 family cubicles they must have to use other cubicles when they come out, if a class full finish at the same time that would be between 6-8 parents needing to change at the same time? as many people say, there are only a few suitable pools that have changers available.
I think 15 minutes is about right for changing, it's what we allow for after classes.

MrsDimples · 13/03/2013 19:13

6 - 8 parents, try 10.

If there was as few as 6 children in a class, our lesson would could cancelled and we'd have to find another one.

AmandaPayne · 13/03/2013 19:30

Would it? That's shocking. I didn't do Waterbabies, I went to a woman who just runs one full time swim school. She allowed max 7 children per class and said it wasn't safe with any more. Unless I guess you don't do anything where all parents are doing the activity with their babies together (like a 'swim' or paddling) and do everything in pairs so that there is lots of standing about.

I can get DD2 and me changed in about 10 minutes in a family cubicle at the end of a swim, 5 minutes at the start. If I'm in a communal room, it's more like 15 as obviously you have to be a bit more careful about flashing, leaving things where people will trip, etc.

CommanderShepard · 13/03/2013 19:35

Odd - we had only 4 in our class our first term. Was lovely! 8 now though.

EggsMichelle · 13/03/2013 19:57

YANBU I take my 3m DS to our local pool and they have no baby changing facilities, I just put his changing mat on a bench/floor and change him there. The fact that you are very pregnant, you can't be stooping about the floor changing your LO, and it will take you longer as its more awkward.

I would shower/ shampoo but the water is too hot to put DS under.

HorryIsUpduffed · 13/03/2013 21:00

If I had put DS1 in his swim nappy before leaving the house it would have been sodden or filthy by the time we got to the pool. But I always got changed at home.

I think OP was not unreasonable to keep the family changing room, as she was using it legitimately. It might have been courteous to hurry, though.

Skygirls · 13/03/2013 21:33

YANBU. Those other women were discourteous.
Too bad if all family cubicles were taken. Were their kids so precious that they couldn't be changed anywhere else?

If I can manage changing pooey nappies on my lap because of no facilities, they can manage to change their bubs into swim gear without a table.
Honestly! It's not rocket science.

MrsKeithRichards · 13/03/2013 21:36

I too don't understand why some people treat a swim like a chance to wash, condition, scrub, blow dry, talc, take 15 bloody minutes to chuck some clothes on. Quick rinse, quick dry, dress and out. Why all the faffe

ToysRLuv · 13/03/2013 23:18

Have to agree with no faffing policy. Quick shampoo and rinse takes around 4 minutes.

On the issue of water babies I have to say that I was very disappointed with my experience with them. DS was something like 3 months, or 4, old when we took their class. Nothing bad to say about the facilities (changed ds on the floor, as that is much easier than on the weird plastic thing), however the class itself was not what I expected. A huge amount of importance was put on the "dunking" of the babies in preparation for the underwater photo shoot (extra payment needed for that, btw). Ds would get quite distressed every time he was put under water, and was not getting any better at it after a few lessons. So, against the pushy, rude teacher's wishes, we decided that ds should not be dunked any more and that we would do everything else in the class and try to teach ds enjoyment of water, instead of a fear of it. Leaving under water stuff for later. There was another couple with a baby there who decided to do the same as us, as their's cried every too. We were then told in no uncertain terms that we were not being " tough enough" and that ds would get " used to it ". Apparently , there also wasn't any reason for us to do the next course with waterbabies, since it would be all about under water stuff.

Fair enough, but for a baby swimming teacher to condone the torturing of babies (although to be fair, some of them did not cry at all, so they must have been fine - good for them! But what about the other half of the class bawling their eyes out week after week?) and guilt tripping of parents (you are not protecting your child if they were to fall in water accidentally, you silly, soft-in-the-head people - style). Hope not all of water babies' teachers are like that, though. Sure, there must be some good ones as well.

To this day ds (3) is afraid of water on his face and we will never know whether we have traumatised him and caused it, or whether he would have been like that anyway.. Learning to swim is very important, but I don't know when ds will be able to. No shallow pools around here, after one closed, any more.

ToysRLuv · 13/03/2013 23:22

Actually, quick shampoo, condition and rinse should be max 2 mins. It takes me 4 at home, if not constrained with time.

ToysRLuv · 13/03/2013 23:24

Oh, and yanbu, of course. Ffs

steppemum · 13/03/2013 23:29

If I really hurried when I had toddler and was 36 weeks pregnant, I could probably get us dried and dressed and out in about 20 minutes.

Take my hat off to those of you who can do it in 5 minutes (although granted, having a toddler chair might have saved 5 minutes)

TheChaoGoesMu · 13/03/2013 23:51

5 mins? I'm not pg now and it takes me 20 mins to dry myself and toddler and get us both dressed.

MidniteScribbler · 14/03/2013 01:43

At our pool you would all BU. Family change rooms are only for parents with opposite sex children (eg mum with sons, or son and duaghter, or dad with daughter, etc) over the age of 7. Everyone else gets to bunk in the communal change rooms. Showers are in the middle of the change room, no cubicles, so you would get told to sod off if you were taking too long faffing while everyone else was waiting.

wrongsideoftheroad · 14/03/2013 13:26

ToysRLuv - I had exactly the same experience! Did one term with my 4 month old then never again.

HUGE emphasis on dunking - they made a huge deal of giving us all goggles so we could go underwater and watch our babies 'swim' as if it was the most exciting thing in the world. The teacher turned her nose up at me when I politely declined the goggles. It was December and I was going straight into town afterwards. There were no hairdrying facilities at the pool and I didn't want to walk around freezing with wet hair.

I soon realised that the huge empahsis on dunking and seeing your DC underwater was so that they could try and flog you an underwater photo for something ridiculous like £80.

Competely ridiculous.

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