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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not give a shit if a girl was "afraid" of my ds shouting?

41 replies

havingamadmoment · 12/03/2013 14:21

My dd is 8 and has had terrible trouble at school making friends etc and is often excluded from games at playtime. My ds is 6 and is a sociable little thing. Recently my dd was trying to play football (at playtime) l it it came to be her turn in the goal but the other girls starting pushing her out and saying she wasn't allowed to play anymore even though she had been playing up to that point. Ds is normally in the infants playground and dd in the juniors but on this day they happened to be together in the one.

Ds saw what was happening and starting shouting at the other girls from the side when the continued to push and crowd around my dd he shouted some more and went over. The girls gave up and left dd alone. I later hear at pick up time that apparently one of the girls was very upset and afraid of my (younger and smaller) ds shouting and that really he should be punished.

SO AIBU to think that the girl who was upset has no right to be?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 12/03/2013 15:04

Who did you hear it from at pick up time?

twinklesparkles · 12/03/2013 15:59

Yanbu

And well done on raising kids that stick together and support eachother :)

Your son sounds cute :)

midastouch · 12/03/2013 16:16

YANBU if she wasnt being a nasty litte cow upsetting your DD in the first place then it wouldnt have happened, hes 2 years younger that her for godsake, silly little girl

Original poster

havingamadmoment · 12/03/2013 17:49

Thanks everyone I have been speaking to the school about this many times and to be fair they have tried very hard to help my dd. the thing is my dd doesn't care she loves school and doesn't seem to realise when people are being mean to her sometimes! Ds does though and I think this was part of that he is very protective of his sisters ( he has 4 sisters!).

Worra- I heard it from the mother of the upset girls friend.

OP posts:

LadyBeagleEyes · 12/03/2013 17:51

Your ds sounds lovely and protective Op.
You should be very proud.

Bowlersarm · 12/03/2013 17:54

Be proud, OP. Although maybe not too proud in case he goes kicking ass all over the place. I would be quietly pleased though, if he were my DS

Thumbwitch · 12/03/2013 17:58

I agree with TobyTurtle as well.
Hope it teaches her a lesson that being mean can have unpleasant results for the meanie!

GloriaPritchett · 12/03/2013 18:23

I think YABU to listen to playground gossip like that.

thefirstmrsrochester · 12/03/2013 19:06

op, my dd was like that in primary school. Nastiness just went over her head. Of course I heard from her friends, her friends parents, ds who was in the class below that she was being nudged out and picked on by kids who knew damn well she wld not pull them up on their nastiness. She is in high school now and flourishing with a new circle of friends and she is so happy.
Sometimes you just get classes where there are more dom
It's hard.
School gate chat is not worth listening to.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 12/03/2013 19:07

Your son should be praised for what he did. It must have taken some courage to confront not one girl, but a group of older girls who were picking on his sister. Well done your DS!

And I agree that it does sound like this girl doesn't like the taste of her own medicine. For goodness sake...how can these blinkered parents seriously think that it's the boy who stuck up for sister that need punishing, when their daughteres are going around bullying another girl??

But I also think that it may be an idea to have a chat with DS about what he said to the girls. Do you know exactly what he said? Was is nasty? Did he call them names or make threats? Two wrongs don't make a right and all that.

thefirstmrsrochester · 12/03/2013 19:08

dominant girls. And their fan club.

CoffeeChocolateWine · 12/03/2013 19:09

...posted before I meant to...

Two wrongs don't make a right and all that, no matter how good his intentions were.

bootsycollins · 12/03/2013 19:13

It's a good practical lesson in cause and effect for the bratty girl.

Snoopingforsoup · 12/03/2013 19:29

The girls were in the wrong by the sounds of it and your little one was helping his sister out.
I wouldn't give a shit about the girl being upset by the shouting either.
Having worked in a primary school, I've seen the prime manipulators who can turn their own shabby behaviour into someone else's fault pretty sharpish.
Kids being kids. I hope DS fully explained what he saw to the teachers?

I'd not worry but be pleased your little ones look out for each other.

digerd · 12/03/2013 20:31

'dominant '? Does that mean tyranical, being a bully, and 'fan club' euphemism for 'cronies'?
Why can't dominant people want to protect the underdogs. The 4 year-old showed great leadership for standing up to the bullies and protecting the victims. He should have a fan club to help stamp out this maliciousness.

Bullys' cronies are just cowards. They follow them as are scared of them.

digerd · 12/03/2013 20:38

sorry. 6 year-old < what a hero>

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