To expect to be able to decide what time DD goes to bed on holiday without a big bloody discussion!

[KellyElly]

Off on a family holiday in the summer, lots of family coming as it's for a wedding and DD will be the only child (she's 4). She'll be staying up later than usual anyway as dinner doesn't start until 7pm, so I thought I would let her have a late nap (at say 3 or 4 for an hour or two), and then back to the room after dinner at around 9.30/10ish.

I was chatting to some family members and they were telling me it's a holiday and she should be able to stay up until 11-12 and that's what they did with their kids. I said I don't mind going back early and putting her to bed and chilling out - I would rather do that than have her up all hours and her get really tired. They were really pushing the issue and getting a bit irritated about it. I said well that's the way I do things and I don't want to deal with a tired cranky child or one who is asleep all morning. Cue a bit of eye rolling on their behalf.

AIBU for firstly thinking my DD's bedtime on holiday should be up to me not anyone else and that actually 12am for seven nights is too late for a 4 year old? Or do I just need to loosen up???

KellyElly lucky you! I would have loved my dcs to sleep in some mornings!

But just decide what is going to work best for you and your dd. You have the fantastic chance to have a child that is (relatively) flexible so you have lots of choices and these don't have to be dictated by other adults in the party.

Keep some leeway for when you are there too. There might be one evening when yu really want to stay up late and another when the morning after you really want to X or Y and need to be in bed early. Play around that and if you have an explanation to give, make it about you and your plans for the next day rather than about your dd.

Oh don't start me!
YANBU OP.

My ex inlaws were always about my kids having a decent routine. That included being about me making them eat at a table instead of running round like a pack of feral dogs like their cousins as well!

Grrrr.

Go with a plan in mind. It sound like a good one. Yes, you may find that it will fluctuate a bit when you get there, but i too would rather go to bed a little earlier most nights and therefore have happy sociable kids most days.

Do you know, as soon as I read your opening post I thought "This is because of drinking"

My theory was confirmed in your later post,saying they want to stay up late drinking. They want you to stay up and drink with them so that they don't look like big drinkers.

Big drinkers always want everyone else to drink with them.

Personally, DH and I never drink more than one or two on holidays as we have to be up so early with the kids and its no fun with a hangover.

Stick to your guns, they are getting tetchy because they will look like alkies.

12 is way way too late for a 4 year old! (personally, I think 10 is too late too).
You need a break from your children in the evening (or at least I do).

Will she wait for dinner at 7? I'm not sure either of my two would.

of course you decide what seems sensible for your dc. What does anyone get out of it if the 4 year old is tired and grouchy all the next day? My 4 year old went to bed pretty much at the usual time on holiday tbh but do what your dc can manage and what fits in with your own plans

Your child, your choice. Just ignore anyone (in your family) who tells you what they think you should do. I agree that you might have to be flexible on a few nights but I think you should do what is best for you.

Will she wait for dinner at 7? I'm not sure either of my two would. She will because I'll get her to have a late afternoon nap (she doesn't usually have one in her normal routine) and will give her an afternoon snack before. Usually she would have dinner at 5, but obviously you have flexible on holiday, just not 12am flexible

You need a break from your children in the evening (or at least I do) If she went to bed at 7 say I would have a break but it would involve sitting alone in my room each evening trying to be quiet while she slept which wouldn't be much fun.