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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off with him re:Facebook and women

11 replies

alisunshine29 · 12/03/2013 11:46

Will be blunt. When I met DP he hadn't long separated from his wife. One of her friends was trying to shag him (and he said he would have done it if he hadn't met me - his wife cheated on him so think he saw it as payback) as was a woman he worked with at the time whom he also said he would have slept with had he not met me.
A year after we got together he was hospitalised and I accidentally (really wasn't prying - would admit if I was) saw a Facebook message to the nurse that had looked after him in hospital. Think he knew her before the hospital stay as they had a couple of mutual friends. He'd messaged her asking how she was and saying 'it wasn't the same without her looking after him.' Flirting in my opinion? Maybe I'm being harsh. But think she felt it was flirty as she swiftly mentioned her boyfriend and sent a message that didn't warrant a reply whereas DPs was quite long.
He still has the two potential shag women as friends on Facebook and have noticed via computer history he's been looking at their pictures. Last week he worked at a different place to usual and told me of a 'funny conversation' he'd had with a woman there. I saw today that they're now Facebook friends and he's been looking at her pictures.
Having them on there makes me think like he's keeping them in the background in case he and I split in which case he'd definitely go there. ExH did precisely that so I may well be being extremely over sensitive. AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
Fanjounchained · 12/03/2013 11:57

In a word, no. Maybe it's just me but any male friends I have on Facebook have not been potential f**k buddies at any time. Just wouldn't seem right considering I have a long term partner.

Deep breath and ask him about it. Only way you're going to get to the bottom of it.

gordyslovesheep · 12/03/2013 12:00

Aybu for being cross he looked at friends pictures on fb ...yes

alisunshine29 · 12/03/2013 12:02

Me either. But then I think maybe I'm being unreasonable as obviously those women can see pics of the kids, his relationship status, declarations of love to me etc.

OP posts:
GregBishopsBottomBitch · 12/03/2013 12:02

I've seen your posts about your DP before, he doesnt sound like the best catch if im honest, but having women on FB is not a crime, unless your finding messages on there that suggests hes flirting, apart from one.

alisunshine29 · 12/03/2013 12:02

These three specific women last night and no one else though.

OP posts:
alisunshine29 · 12/03/2013 12:04

But I wouldn't add/accept a man I had one conversation with at work. Usually he is quite picky about privacy yet this woman is pretty much a stranger.

OP posts:
OKnotOK · 12/03/2013 12:25

Sounds like you will be spending the rest of your life keeping an eye on him because you obviously dont trust him.

Sounds bloody exhausting.

Even if you confronted him would you believe what he had to say?

Are you just maybe a little paranoid...or is he a dick?

Only you can know.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 12/03/2013 12:32

Have seen you posting recently, am wondering if something's building up - don't mean to be intrusive is everything all right?

LessMissAbs · 12/03/2013 13:23

Hes not done anything particularly bad but you experience the full range of his behaviour and are probably picking up something with your gut instinct.

Personally, I don't like men who spend too much time on internet social media. Its not a trait I find attractive in a man, and its too easy for them to prey on vulnerable women and make themselves out to be something they are not.

wineandroses · 12/03/2013 13:30

See, Facebook is evil!

Seriously though, your DP is a bit of an arse saying things like "I'd 'ave shagged 'er if I hadn't met you". Really? And did the women have any say in that? Also, is he 15 years old?

Op, do you have any children with him? If not, you might want to work on the trust issues before you bring any children into the equation.

CherylTrole · 12/03/2013 14:01

Ewwww he sounds gross. Run like hell. You wont get any joy wih him.

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