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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think we could live without Mothers' Day? And Fathers' Day.

21 replies

grovel · 11/03/2013 22:47

They seem to cause such angst. I don't know any fathers who would care. Why should we?

OP posts:

tethersend · 11/03/2013 22:49

You can live without anything apart from food and shelter.

Ruprekt · 11/03/2013 22:50

We did Nothing for Mothers Day and survived! Tis a load of commercialised over hyped meaningless crap!

cory · 11/03/2013 22:56

In our house, mother's day/father's day is a day when dc are encouraged to put themselves in their parents' shoes for a moment and do some of their work as a way of saying "yes, we notice that you do this every day without complaining, it is appreciated".

We had nothing commercial that we wouldn't have had any other day, but I did get breakfast in bed, dc came for a walk that I chose without grumbling, and they planned and cooked an evening meal.

Original poster

grovel · 11/03/2013 22:56

tehthersend, can't argue with that (well, water helps) but do you agree?

OP posts:

Original poster

grovel · 11/03/2013 22:59

I rather like the idea of Parents' Day to meet cory's point. At least we'd cut the commerciality in half. And parents could reflect on what a fucking wonderful job we do.

OP posts:

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 11/03/2013 23:07

I think we should keep Mother's Day. It's the only day that's just for me. The other 364 days a year are for everybody else to take me for granted whilst I invisibly prop them up.

It needn't be commercial- my kids made their own cards. It meant the world to me. It's a day to stop and think and appreciate mothers, and because I'm knackered off my face the rest of the year, I do not want to ban MD.

ihearsounds · 11/03/2013 23:19

Yes, chuck Valentines day as well.

I really do not see the point in Mothers day, Father day or Valentines day. Your family should be showing appreciation anyway throughout the year. They should be helping out throughout the year, and doing random acts that make you feel special. It should not just boil down to one day a year that is forced. They should be encouraged to meal plan and cook. They should be encouraged to do the washing up, brekkie in bed and anything else that you feel is special. They should be doing other activities that others enjoy and not necessarily them, to remind them that the world doesn't revolve around them. They should be doing these things anyway, because they like to make other people happy.

Original poster

grovel · 11/03/2013 23:25

ihearsounds, I so agree with you. My DH and DS are hopeless in lots of ways but they do randomly show affection in lovely ways. The idea of official "love Mum" days just makes them awkward.

OP posts:

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 12/03/2013 13:51

Well all my family do their bit, even the 3 yo, although I wouldn't expect breakfast in bed from him. I think it does no harm at all to have Mother's day as it focuses attention on exhausted Mothers then I see nothing wrong with it at all.

I also see nothing wrong in Father's Day. It's the one time of year I can drag my grumpy belligerent father out for lunch.

Pandemoniaa · 12/03/2013 13:53

I had a very nice Mother's Day. For all that, I'd much rather see it and certainly Valentine's Day consigned to history. The amount of emotional angst that results from both those occasions is surely not worthy of the name celebration?

ChocolateCoins · 12/03/2013 14:01

I agree. I don't bother with mothers day for myself but my mum gets a massive strop on if she doesn't get anything from me, which kind of defeats the point. I don't think it's very nice for those who have lost their parents.

And don't get me started on valentines day.

aldiwhore · 12/03/2013 14:01

Well we could do without Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentines and Mother and Father's Day, but I'd rather not, every one of them (bar valentines) means a lot to me and my unreligious family, we have our own traditions and rituals so if you're including me in your we then YABU.

You can do what you like, I only ask that you respect my right to attach meaning to these days.

I would LOVE too see a 'family day' be introduced, one that celebrates all kind of families, but I'm sure someone somewhere would moan that it's just another Hallmark Day...

aldiwhore · 12/03/2013 14:02

Meant to also say, Mother's Day isn't about ME. Even though I'm a mother. It's about me honouring MY mother. Just as my children honour there's (which yes, is me)

CockyFox · 12/03/2013 14:03

I would love to see them along with valentines day got rid of. All three are just another day in my house as they were in my parents house.
Those of you who feel you need a day all about you well, you have a birthday and you don't even have share that with other mothers. Personally though I don't want a day all about me I'd far rather get on with stuff.

aldiwhore · 12/03/2013 14:03

AGH THEIRS!

midastouch · 12/03/2013 14:05

YANBU valentines day and mothers and fathers day are uneccessary and just make people who havent got someone feel bad.

ChocsAwayInMyGob · 12/03/2013 14:12

YANBU valentines day and mothers and fathers day are uneccessary and just make people who havent got someone feel bad.

If we thought like that about everything we would have to cancel everything good such as Christmas (in case of bereaved people), and Easter (in case it offends people of other religions) and where will it end?

aldiwhore- I totally agree with you when you say this:

*Well we could do without Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Valentines and Mother and Father's Day, but I'd rather not, every one of them (bar valentines) means a lot to me and my unreligious family, we have our own traditions and rituals so if you're including me in your we then YABU.

You can do what you like, I only ask that you respect my right to attach meaning to these days.*

However, I did quite like Mother's Day being about me as both MIL and DM live hundreds of miles away (I bought and wrote the cards and sent them photos of the GCs) and I did get spoilt. I don't object to being taken out for lunch, nor to the homemade cards.

If other people choose not to celebrate, they of course have that right, but I agree that some traditions are important to some families and things should be left that way.

poocatcherchampion · 12/03/2013 14:14

they are not compulsory. well certainly not here..

midastouch · 12/03/2013 14:18

Christmas and easter are religious holidays, I believe mothers day has something to do with religion but i dont know what, wasnt it an american idea to add fathers day too and we dont do halloween is glorified begging anyway.

valiumredhead · 12/03/2013 15:16

Mothering Sunday was when people returned to their mother church. When people were in service they could do the same and also visit their families.I remember my nan who was in service telling me about it.

diddl · 12/03/2013 15:22

Mother's Day has always been simple for us-hand made card/flowers from the garden if there are any!/breakfast in bed/outing of my choosing/no moaning & be kind to each other!

I remember when I was young I loved it-woke up all excited & couldn't wait to give Mum her card/pressie/make breakfast/help with lunch.

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