Just to answer a few questions.
I don't get why you'd bother asking AIBU if you're BU, if you don't think you are at all.
I just asked and wondered what people thought re it being a bit unrealistic that he would drive 170 miles to buy a £500 car. I understand if people believe that or have done that themselves. Sometimes I think people ask on aibu as they're a bit unsure, but hen on hearing the responses, even if they are in disagreement with the op, it can make you even more sure that yanbu.
Re drip feeding, people always seem to pull this line when an op gives more information in subsequent posts. I tried to put everything in the op but might have forgotten a few things.
And then you say
I have been using ebay as a seller for 8 years and haven't had a problem and always have good feedback
I think I've had bad experiences with things like this
So which one is it? 8 years without a problem or having had bad experiences?
When I said the first statement, I was replying to someone who said I should stay off ebay and I'm a bad seller, I've sold hundreds of items and buyers have always been 100% happy and I've loads of good feedback and none bad. The second statement was me referring to buyer messing me around, I've had bad experience with timewaster, people who bid on things and don't pay even after weeks, or who pay two weeks later despite me request payment within 24 hours. Or people asking daft questions like asking for something really cheap.
Yes indeed, how did you manage that?! I am so impressed, I've lost a few FVF when buyers refused to cancel but nor could I complete the sale, what trick am I missing??!
I just contacted ebay and explained what had happened, I had an email back within 30 minutes saying that they had credited me with the FVF, I'm a valued seller etc and that they take action against non payers but cannot tell me what will happen in this intance due to confidentiality, then they suggested that it's best not to try to cancel an item without first agreeing it with the buyer but to note it as an unpaid item.
Regarding the 3 days wait, I understand what people are saying, if it was a small item that would be posted I would always wait a week before startign a dispute, even though I always list as requiring payment withing 24 hours. In this case I had clearly put in the listing that I needed a quick sale and the date etc, I had to get rid of the car by that day as my new car was arriving and needed to change insurance details etc. I didn't have time to wait around for this guy to decide whether he was going to respond, I waited more than 24 hours.
And as I will say again it was the fact he'd failed to respond, the fact that he lived so far away and the fact that he had loads of feedback saying he'd not paid, mostly for car bits. You cannot leave a buyer bad feedback so it was all green but when I read it there were loads of people saying 'didn't pay for wheels', 'agressive to deal with', 'unresponsive to messages', things like that so I put two and two together.