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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to give this woman a long hard glare?

40 replies

Follyfoot · 10/03/2013 22:49

In a clothes shop today waiting to pay. A woman walks in with a little boy - very young, maybe 2 or 3. He gets in amongst a rack of clothes and hides. Its a tiny shop so his mum saw him straight away. She put her hands into the clothes rail, bunched his coat and top into a knot across his chest and dragged him out, yelling at him. Her husband and daughter then walked in and she started looking at some clothes. She then shouted at the little lad again and a minute later smacked him. Poor poor little boy

OP posts:

TidyDancer · 10/03/2013 23:41

Venus - do you know if the school have reported to social services? I think you need to do it anyway though tbh. That is abuse. It doesn't matter if her parents are professionally respected doctors or unemployed and claiming every benefit under the sun. Abuse is abuse and that poor kid does not deserve it.

There are several horrific stories on this thread. :(

Startail · 10/03/2013 23:43

I've sworn at DD2 very loudly in public and half expected to see a thread here.
Mind you she was 9 rather than 3 and being VUR.

It does sound like the woman in the OP was rather rough. DD1 lived on reins to prevent me reaching the end of my teathered with her vanishing.

lowercase · 10/03/2013 23:52

I expect she is just doing what she can with the tools she has.
Prob was smacked and shouted at herself.
Lucky you and yours know different.

As has been shared, smacking and shouting not against the law.

lowercase · 10/03/2013 23:55

Oh yes, so yabu to glare but not assist.

Glaring will fuel it.

Goldenbear · 10/03/2013 23:58

What a defeatist and bleak attitude that is. It is not beyond people to break such a cycle.

Goldenbear · 10/03/2013 23:59

Personally I'd not be assisting in the abuse of a toddler.

zippey · 11/03/2013 00:00

I think its a slippery slope when adults are unkind to their children, and they themselves become unkind to their peers engaging in behaviours like bullying, criminal activity etc and ultimatly becoming antisocial and unpleasant adults in later life.

lowercase · 11/03/2013 00:04

Intervene.
Talk to the mother.
Or the child.
Use love, humour, empathy...

BabyFaker · 11/03/2013 00:06

Yes what have ss done Venus?

Horribly sad.

I remember once reading that maybe these parents are struggling and if you actually confronted them about their behaviour they might ask for help... Who knows.

I've yet to see anything like what posters above have said but I do think I'd rather risk a punch in my own face than not say anything.

Goldenbear · 11/03/2013 00:17

Well I've intervened 2 times where the adults where in a rage, neither asked for help. Once I was 8 months pregnant and told a man he should be ashamed of himself. He then got in my face, swore at me and I told him he could be done for assault. We were in a Tesco supermarket and so his actions where all on camera. He was about 6ft1, red faced in anger and he obviously believed he could treat and bully people how he wished.

VenusRising · 11/03/2013 00:45

I let the school know: they have a child protection officer, and they dealt with it.
It's a awful thing to witness, especially from people who you'd think knew better. My dd was really shocked to see such violence visited on her friend, and understands completely that if you love someone you don't hit them, or push them. I feel so sorry for that little girl and her two little sisters, as I know that they're all hit.
Just goes to show though, that its endemic, and class / education / professions don't make a difference: violence is violence.

IneedAsockamnesty · 11/03/2013 02:39

Seeing that would make me glare as well.

And is a smack leaves a mark even a temporary red one its against the law any mark at all.

threesypeesy · 11/03/2013 07:22

That's horrible it boils my blood to see things like this you young children.

My Dh does speak up as it really upsets him to see someone belittle or strike/grab a child, he is 6'2 and very built though so never had anything said back

Soaking is not illegal in Scotland unless its on the head or face or a mark is left when studying child protection we were told if in public and you witness a child being struck in any above manner to say very loudly to that parent you witnessed it and stand infant of them and contact the police. Its child abuse and those that speak up could save a child's life.

threesypeesy · 11/03/2013 07:24

Stupid phone smacking infront

HavingALittleFaithBaby · 11/03/2013 07:59

I saw similar last week - Mum out with three kids at McDonalds. Middle child, a girl about two run out from the exit in front of a car at the drive through. She grabbed her and pulled her back (fair enough) but then screamed at her and slapped her on the legs. I imagine some of that came from fear of her being run over but I was a bit Not close enough to say anything and not sure I would anyway....my judgey pants were rather high up though.

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