to think childcare is not just my responsibility?

[Howsaboutthat]

My dh has always worked full time. When we met I was a student and working part time, we then went on to have kids so I stayed part time.

At Christmas time we sat down and had a discussion re income as as we all know (bar my h) living costs have risen so I had to point this out, and said we (i.e. he as I already have been for the kids and I) needs to either make lifestyle changes or I have to increase my hours at work.

I pointed out that if I increased my hours at work we'd both be earning the same, and we'd both be working the same number of hours, so his job would no longer be the most important and nor could I be in sole charge of childcare.

He agreed and was fully on board with this (or so I thought).

He has Wednesday off work this week (rotaed day off) and I said that he'd have to get the kids off to school as I have to be in work for 8am and collect the kids from school as I finish at 5.30pm.

He is now sulking and saying I'm being unreasonable and I need to get the kids and he can't possibly do it because...he's booked his car in for an MOT at 3pm!!! I pointed out that 3pm for the school run is not a good time for the MOT.

I've told him this is for him to sort out, and no longer my responsibility to sort out all childcare arrangements as we discussed before I increased my hours, he's sulking, but I'm not BU am I?

His brain hasn't caught up with the situation change yet. He has had a blissful few years as he ignored the frantic horror that is organising childcare. Now, he has to step up and doesn't fully realise how much it entails.

Joint Google calendar? One on the wall? Weekly planning meeting? What will work?

YANBU He is 50% responsible for his children.

yanbu
he sounds pretty childish about the whole thing

Every time he's had to do pickup he's tried to wrangle way out of it, but has done it in the end.

This is the first time he's sulked over it, and has said he can't ask the garage for another time.

I think you're right MrsTP that his brain hasn't caught up with actuals yet.

No idea when MOT runs out, but knowing what he's like I suspect 31 March would be about right, ie he'll be doing it with days/weeks in advance.

YANBU.
How on earth does he expect you to get the kids when you are rotaed to work until 5.30pm? Why is he sulking - is there another alternative?

Oh, he's one of those who believes in the childcare fairy. Most men seem to, having said that ;) Course YANBU

Don't discuss it with him. Just tell him he's in care of pick up and leave him to organise things.

He is used to his needs taking priority. I bet along with his career being the full time one, you've been the one who covers sicknesses with the kids, organised the PE kits.

He is sulking because he never actually realised all the privileges he was enjoying. And it's not nice to have them taken away.

Assuming he is a fundamentally decent bloke, he'll get over it. Ignore all sulking. State that the kids need picking up and you are at work and engage no further. No negotiation. No checks to ensure he's done it. The sooner he realises that these things are his responsibility and he's not 'helping out', the sooner things will settle down!

What YFronts said.

What a twat - does he always act like a petulant child or is this a new thing?