AIBU to be struggling to decide between MiL & CM?

[GadaboutTheGreat]

We've just taken DD (2.5) out of nursery as she wasn't very happy (only went 2 mornings a week). We have a few appointments to see local childminders next week. All good so far...

MiL was here earlier, and we mentioned all this. To cut a long story short, she seemed quite taken aback that we hadn't asked her to look after DD. (MiL looked after SiL's 2 children for at least 3 full days a week until they started pre-school - so a long time for her!)

I do feel a little guilty about not asking her to look after DD, but in all honesty I don't know whether she would do enough with DD to keep her occupied. When MiL looked after my DNephews, they spent a lot of time in front of the TV (MiL was also carer to my late FiL, so was busy with his needs). I don't want lots o TV for DD, on a regular basis anyway.
MiL is not particularly fit or active so wouldn't necessarily jump at the chance of going to the park etc. DD really needs to run around each morning & afternoon. I think a CM would accommodate this more, as well as having child-friendly toys, craft/messy stuff already set up.

However - DD knows and loves MiL very much and would not having any of the problems we experienced at nursery (not settling, not playing, talking, joining in etc). It would be the loving environment we'd love her to have.

Please help me decide. I already feel guilty about the nursery failure, I really don't want to screw this decision up :(

Do you both work? Is there a reason she has to go anywhere?

If so, I don't think 2 mornings of chilling out with Granny would be the end of the world, even if it did involve some Tv?

Sorry forgot to mention, I'm returning to work in September part time. We also have 10 month old DS, so ideally he would go to the same childcare place as his sister.

We were trying to get DD used to childcare gently before I started work. There's no major hurry therefore, although it would be nice to have time just me & DS

what does your DD do the rest of the week. Agree with the fact that if she gets lots of running around/activities the rest of the time, then 2 morning isn't that big of a deal. It would be a lovely chance for them to build a strong bond.

Nothing wrong with seeing how it goes for a month. Then if your MIL is struggling, you can broach the fact she doesn't have to continue or even 2 hours with your MIL who then takes her to the CM for another 2 hours.

Does it have to be either or? Can she go to MiL one day and CM one day?

I would do a mix - which would mean that you would have backup each way.

One of the downsides of childminders is that if they are sick then you are left without childcare. And you have to cover their holidays.

Likewise with a gp - gp might be sick or want to go away.

So at least if you have both in place you have potential cover if one were to be unavailable.

Based on the nursery experience, I thought she'd be better going to a CM for at least 2 mornings/days not less...it would take ages for her to bond otherwise?

Ah good idea maddening Hadn't thought of that.

You could also do a combination of CM and MiL. Best of both worlds!

Half in half?

Thanks all, yes I think a combination would be ideal

If you are worried about settling in then what I did (as I wanted one afternoon a week to myself) was to two months of two afternoons and then switched to one. I had initially planned on just one month of two sessions but DS 1 and DD 2 (and me) needed longer.