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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

mn jury over here please!!

44 replies

NandH · 10/03/2013 21:08

Dh has written

"...also give daddy a break, I know he's not very good with me but he'll be better when I'm abit bigger" in my mothers day card.

our ds is 5 weeks old, since he's been born I have done EVERYTHING, no help from anyone, least of all Dh. I also have an extremely hyperactive 2yo to deal with, we have also recently relocated miles away. I don't expect any help from anyone but dh but when I could really do with his help he's know where to be seen...

basically I'm the one that could do with a fucking break!!!!!!! :( not him!!!

aibu to be pissed off he's written this?

OP posts:
YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 10/03/2013 21:24

X-post, your seond post makes it sound much worse. Do you really mean he just shouts? Maybe itis time for a big chat.

catgirl1976 · 10/03/2013 21:25

Shouting at a 2 yo all the time is not good

Nor does it make his "daddy will be better when I am bigger" comment very plausible

ThePathanKhansAmnesiac · 10/03/2013 21:25

Oh and maybe get this moved to relationships op?
Good luck.Thanks

ClippedPhoenix · 10/03/2013 21:28

Yes OP, relationships is where to post any more on this.

As for "just shouts" how intimidating is someone shouting at you as an adult let alone a 2 year old?

Original poster
NandH · 10/03/2013 21:32

well 2yo is sodding hard work to be honest, I thought it was her age but hv has recently said she strongly feels there's more to it than that (meaning behavioural/developmental problems) she can be a total sweety too don't get me wrong but sometimes I feel like shouting at her but I don't cause she's 2 ffs and cant help it.

I just thought of all ways to "apologise" or whatever, in a mothers day card wasn't very nice.

I think he means it as stop nagging at me...except I don't nag anymore coz I accept he's not good with ds.

before 2yo became such hard work he was brilliant with her btw.

OP posts:
ClippedPhoenix · 10/03/2013 21:33

If someone shouted at my DS when he was 2 and not the dad, he'd be gone.

If it was his dad, I'd be having a very clear word with him, if it didn't stop he would also be gone.

TheSecondComing · 10/03/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClippedPhoenix · 10/03/2013 21:36

You accept he's not good with a 2 year old? really?

What on earth is he going to do with a child when they are wordy and have their own minds? What is he going to do when they reach teens?

Moominsarescary · 10/03/2013 21:37

I have a 5 week old and the toddler is 2 next week and I'm knackered. This week has been the longest week ever, it's like all my energy has gone and my dp is really hands on.

He's being an arse and needs to pull his finger out. As for shouting all the time wtf. How much bigger do they have to be before he gets better?

MisForMumNotMaid · 10/03/2013 21:38

Could you afford nursery even if its a half day a week?

It could buy you just a bit of the sanity time you need.

ClippedPhoenix · 10/03/2013 21:39

I personally don't think the problem is her children, they are just that, its her partner.

WafflyVersatile · 10/03/2013 22:55

Say, 'tell me what you need from me, for you to be able to do housework, look after DC1 and give me an hours unbroken sleep.''

TidyDancer · 10/03/2013 23:47

It sounds like there's issues deeper than the card, and you need to focus on that.

The card doesn't sound on its own to be a problem, but it seems like the tip of the iceberg.

FrenchJunebug · 11/03/2013 16:03

have you spoken to him?! He might want to help but not know what to do exactly. People, even DH, are not mind readers.

Also if you are not spending all your time with a baby or a kid they are pretty scary :)

firesidechat · 11/03/2013 17:27

A Mothers Day card is not the ideal place for that kind of comment.

If he wants to apologise, he can do it face to face (and then help out).

Alternatively he could send you a lovely card, completely separate from Mothers Day, to apologise (and then help out).

What age does he reckon he will be ready to give you a hand? Just curious.

PureQuintessence · 11/03/2013 17:31

What an idiot!

It is not an apology, it is a telling off! An insult!

You know he wont get better when ds is bigger, as he is not any good with your two year old either!

I would not give this man a break, I would give him a kick up the backside, and if that was not working A Kick out of the Door!

CockyPants · 11/03/2013 17:43

Wow. A new Cunt of the Day.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 11/03/2013 17:45

Wow, what a really shitty thing to do, using DC's to apologise for his shitty parenting.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 11/03/2013 17:49

He'll learn to be better with the baby if he takes more responsibility for him.

You don't get to have a child and leave everything to someone else until they are big enough for you to bother with. Hmm

He needs to be passed that baby and get on with it!

Does he think women come with some sort of inherited knowledge when it comes to babies? Hmm

No. We learn by doing it.

And so can he.

Bloody great lump.

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