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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think BIL is taking FIL for a fool?

40 replies

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:08

long story, and I've namechanged, sorry.

about 10 years ago, FIL decided to split his money between DH and BIL. he wantedto retire (family business - we own a farm) and the easiest way to do it was to give it to the two sons. anyway, BIL has always been a bit of a hothead and didn't want to settle down and help DH run the farm. so, they agreed (fil and dh and bil) that they would sell some of the farm property in order to give bil his share of "the money" and bil left town.
now, (I came on the scene after all this bit, about 8 years ago) fil didn't hear from bil again and he was distraught - he knew bil wasn't dead, but he felt like he was, or he could have been for all we knew.
Bil suddenly turned up about a month ago! he'd pissed all the money away, basically - he'd got involved in a business that went belly up, then drank a lot (he had had drink problems before all the mobey thing came about) and lost most of it. he came back almost broke. he'd even declared himself bankrupt.
FIL was over the moon when he came back! he's given him one of the farm properties, a car, thrown him a huge party, and I'm just convinced he's lapping it up.

bil swears he's changed and learned the error of his ways. I'm not so convinced and dh is furious. Angry
he had a huge row with fil about it- ranted about the fact that we've sweated over the last years running the farm, whicb we've saved from bad management and kept it afloat, then this reprobate just turns up out of the blue!
what do you reckon? aibu to think that he's going to try to take more from the farm and ruin us as well?

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Annunziata · 10/03/2013 21:09

Is this for real because the prodigal son was the reading at Mass this morning?

youmaycallmeSSP · 10/03/2013 21:10

Far too Biblical, sorry ;)

user12785 · 10/03/2013 21:12

Hmm And what Annun said.

WhereYouLeftIt · 10/03/2013 21:14

Who currently owns the farm - FIL or DH?

Whydobabiescry · 10/03/2013 21:14

I agree with other posters this has to be some biblical wind upBiscuit

Reality · 10/03/2013 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:15

oh ffs.
you're too bloody smart aren't you!
Grin

I was trying to get a modern day view on it so I could write a piece for the parish magazine!

pretend you didn't guess Wink

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UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:16

that's true, thought the party was too big a clue.

makes a fab aibu though doesn't it!

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IloveJudgeJudy · 10/03/2013 21:16

What the others said. Just come back from Mass.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:17

whereyouleftit - fil owns the farm and dh is the manager

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UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:22

you all played along when I did the good Friday one :(

nobody loves me :(

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lalabaloo · 10/03/2013 21:24

I was reading this thinking, its all very much like the prodigal son...

But, pretending I didn't guess... I think your bil is way out of order, he has had his share and disappeared, never done any of the hard work and then comes back and gets extra! What I really can't work out is how having split the farm between them your FIL still gets to choose what happens to the farm buildings, surely that is your DH's building now?

Annunziata · 10/03/2013 21:25

I'm sorry, I can't separate the two!

So I would say, of course your FIL is delighted, he has his son back. Imagine he was your own son, and give him a second chance.

lalabaloo · 10/03/2013 21:25

Oh I see, DH is the manager and FIL owns the fictional farm

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:26

that bit was hard to work out- I'm working on the basis that fil still owns the farm but the business part of it is controlled by dh.
like a manager, I suppose. it's a bit trickier than it was in the NT...

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Reality · 10/03/2013 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:28

annunziata - our church warden did a thing on it, saying that you can look on it from different roles. I never looked at it from the brother's pov before so I thought it would be fun. :)

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UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:29

reality- how do we know he's really sorry though? how do we know he's not just going to lord it up for a few months and then bugger off again?

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Annunziata · 10/03/2013 21:31

Ah, the brother who stayed? Well I would still say the same thing- why aren't you delighted that your brother has come home?

Coconutty · 10/03/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:35

I suppose dh gas always said how bil was always the bad one - alcoholism (never admitted), gambling, wasting money. I can understand why he's angry - he's slogged on that farm for years and never had any thanks for it

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MrsTerryPratchett · 10/03/2013 21:37

If this was in real life... Give the BIL a job at the farm. Have him work his way back into the fold.

MrsTerryPratchett · 10/03/2013 21:41

BTW do I get points for knowing what this was about even though I'm an atheist? I want points...

INeedThatForkOff · 10/03/2013 21:44

Won't the parishioners be Shock at your turn of phrase though: 'pissed all the money away,' indeed?

UniqueAndAmazing · 10/03/2013 21:44

yes mrsp, you can have points.

I'll find a more obscure passage next time Grin

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