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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not know what to do about this? (Work related)

1 reply

Maternityreturner · 10/03/2013 20:28

Name changed for this but am a regular poster. I have returned to work recently after maternity leave. There have been a lot of changes and redundancies since I went on mat leave and I've returned to a new boss who doesn't know me and is based at a different site. Various systems etc have changed whilst I was off so in some ways it's like I'm starting from scratch in a new job.

Anyway I've returned and am now part time. I'm being mentored by the person who took over my job when I went on mat leave. She is supposed to be the same level as me, not my boss. The problem is she seems really defensive about me returning because I used to do her job and our company has been making redundancies. As a result she is criticizing everything I do. Right down to really small inconsequential things like how I save my documents (using the keyboard shortcut instead of the icons) or how I sign off my emails (apparently if I just sign off with my name it is rude and I should put regards on). When there is something that I genuinely don't understand because it's new she gets angry if I ask her to explain it.

Work has also become cliquey in a way it wasn't before I went off work, and this woman seems to be the Queen Bee of it. She doesn't seem to like the fact that I'm not really into cliqueyness at work and won't join in with her 'gang'.

Anyway, all this is trivial and I could deal with it were it not for the fact that my boss is asking this woman how I am doing and my boss seems to be making all her judgements based on that. And she is telling my boss I'm crap. I overheard my colleague on the phone to her the other day describing me as being 'really annoying'. And if she's hypercritical of me to my face I dread to think what she's saying behind my back. She seems to want to do me down all the time to guarantee her job security.

Anyway,`I'm due to see the 'big boss' at some point this week and am worrying about what will happen. My instinct is to keep my mouth shut about this as I don't normally like to involve management in this type of tit for tat stupidity between employees but in this case I don't know what to do. I'm fairly certain I'm going to get a bit of a bollocking of the back of what this woman has been saying.

I feel like if I say something to my boss I will seem like a troublemaker in the department but if I don't say something my she will take all this criticism at face value. I have made the odd mistake in my first couple of weeks but I think they would be pretty insignificant if this woman wasn't stirring in the background.

Does anybody have any idea how I can overcome this without making the situation even worse for myself?

OP posts:
MoonlightandRoses · 10/03/2013 21:18

Might be worth you re-posting this in the Employment Issues topic too to catch some of the experienced HR posters.

I would maybe position it as 'raising a concern' that she gives the impression of being threatened by you and you would like support from either higher management or HR in helping her develop some coping strategies for this.
That way, you come across as secure and competent and, most importantly, are seeking to actively resolve the situation yourself (with support!), rather than just 'presenting a problem' for someone else to deal with.
Also, try to only make part of the meeting with your boss about resolving the issue. The rest of the meeting needs to focus on how you're settling in, what future plans are for your role etc.

Best of luck in getting it fixed.

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