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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

for feeling that nobody gives a damn?

9 replies

cremeggsrock · 10/03/2013 17:49

Mothers Day today...what did I get.. a text message. After about 8 texts asking me for favours/lifts. It was like 'oh yeah happy mothers day'.

My 15 year old daughter was away on a trip yesterday until today, I picked her up at 11. So I knew there would be no tea and toast breakfast in bed but I had hoped for a little more than a text. She's been home all day, hasn't said a word about mothers day to me in person... no hugs, no cup of coffee, no offer of help, no card, no present. She's spent most of the afternoon on her phone or on skype to friends. I'm not with her dad any more but even in the past when she was young there was no effort from him...I'd get whatever was left on the shelf in Asda the morning of mothers day, while his mother had a lovely bunch of flowers and wine. That sort of things happened with every other even like birthdays and christmas too, he would usually get me tat which he wanted.

My boyfriend ordered something for his mum online a week ago but made no effort to make sure my daughter did something for me... I can't blame him as she is old enough to sort something but it would have been nice if he had thought about me too.

Valentines day just gone...I had nothing from my boyfriend. No card or present. He was working away (which he does frequently so he knew he would be away) and I fully expected a card through the post... but nope. Nothing. Didn't even get a phone call.

New Years Eve was a disaster, I was in bed by 11.30 as my boyfriend was being an idiot and we got in a row so he went off and I went home.

Christmas... no present or card from my daughter. My boyfriend bought me something but it was left til very last minute and it was something I had to choose myself almost for the sake of getting something as we had one hour in town to sort it. he also bought me a bottle of gin, which he drank all of aside from one glass. I'm still waiting for a present from my parents (even though everyone else in the family had stuff to open xmas day). My birthday last year.. got nothing from my boyfriend on the day as he said he didn't have time but we would go out and get something... that never happened, we ended up having to get a new car as ours went badly wrong and as I am the main one who drives it, it suddenly became my birthday present. Even though it's the one he chose and the type he likes.

I know I'm sounding materialistic, but it's really not about the money or presents, it's the lack of thought and care. I go to so much effort for everyone I care about.. I research presents a long time before the event, I buy lovely paper and bows and wrap them up nicely, I organised a night away for my bf's birthday and we went to a michelin starred restaurant.

Today I just feel like nobody really does give a monkey's about me. I don't want a lot, a card would have meant so much, my favourite flowers are daffodils which cost £1 from the supermarket...or even just "Happy Mothers Day" in person and a hug, maybe even a cup of tea. I'm finding it very hard to smile today and I feel like I could just sit here and cry. I'm sick of nobody giving a stuff about me or wanting to make me happy or smile. I do everything for everyone, I do all the cooking and cleaning, all the running about, I help my parents loads, I work full time. I'm sick of being the person nobody gives a stuff about.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 10/03/2013 17:51

dump the useless boyfriend, stop being a doormat for your daughter.. :)

Portofino · 10/03/2013 17:54

I would be going on strike forthwith. Sod them. Can you manage to book a night/weekend away on your own?

needtonamechangeforthis · 10/03/2013 17:57

am so with you and started a similar thread earlier. Not quite sure what to say, but know exactly how you feel x

Magrathea · 10/03/2013 18:03

I think a meltdown that registers on the Richter scale and the hissy fit to end all hissy fits to jolt the useless pair into some action, probably too late for this year but should ensure nothing is forgotten next year.

The go out to a nice hotel with a Spa and book yourself in for the afternoon, choose an afternoon when one or both of them want a favour from you.

Snoopingforsoup · 10/03/2013 18:04

Oh no. This is really no good at all. You need to remind your daughter of everything you do for her and make her actually buck up somehow. The bloke needs getting rid of, cheeky swine. Tell them how much they've upset you and how today has made you feel. You never know, it may stir some kind of loving response from them both.
15 year old DD's have an excuse in that they're hormonal and prone to taking their parents for granted. Grown men have no excuse for not making an effort.
If they don't know today means something to you, they can't rise to the occasion. Make sure they know...

CMOTDibbler · 10/03/2013 18:04

I'm with squeaky. Get rid of cocklodger, stop doing things for people who don't do anything for you, and tell your dd that she needs to start respecting you as a person. She learnt from her dad that it didn't matter about showing love with marking occasions, and she needs to learn that.

And do lovely things for yourself - I know its not the same as someone doing it for you, but it makes life nicer.

buggerama · 10/03/2013 18:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeySoulSister · 10/03/2013 18:13

Aww that's grim!

Bloody teens

TheElephantIsADaintyBird · 10/03/2013 18:18

Oh I'm not surprised your feeling like shit after that! Good job I got you some flowers Flowers Wink

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