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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have expected a work leaving do

42 replies

Happymothersday · 10/03/2013 11:45

ok, I've had and left a few jobs. And each time I've been given a great send-off. But I've just left a job after 5 years and.... Zilch. First, they announced that I was leaving one day earlier than my last day (wishful thinking?). Then, I waited....and waited.... And finally nipped out to get a sandwich and... BOOM... Came back to find a card surreptiously snuck onto my desk, only signed by half the staff. And that was it.

I put my heart, soul and many, many hours of ( unpaid) overtime into that job. I always had glowing appraisals. I was not crap at my job. WIBU to have expected a goodbye speech at least?

OP posts:

Original poster

Happymothersday · 10/03/2013 14:19

AND someone was made redundant last summer and was bitter about it so didn't go to his own official work leaving do. They sent out a search party for him but couldn't find him.

So why not me??? stomps feet in a hissy fit like a toddler, pouty lip and everything

OP posts:

freddiefrog · 10/03/2013 14:23

YANBU. I've been in your shoes too. Other leavers always got a card, a bottle of champagne and taken out for lunch.

Problem was, I was the one who always organised the cards, champers and lunches, and when it came to my turn to leave, no one else had done it for me. Didn't even get a card

MrsReiver · 10/03/2013 16:20

It has been quite cathartic sharing it with you all, only my mum and husband know about what happened and how much it upset me. Very sad to see I'm not alone and others have had to endure similar situations

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 10/03/2013 16:24

At my daughters school they had about 3 teachers leaving, they all got a mention in the school newsletter, the headmistress would have definately mention it to the kids too, its disrespectful not too.

greenfolder · 10/03/2013 18:03

ha, been there.

worked in my last place for 13 years, in learning and development-so each one of the 400 staff knew me personally.

had a huge falling out with my boss, who has the morals of an alley cat and the management skills of your average sloth. she refused to do a leaving presentation for me- i took the view that it reflected far worse on her than me. spent my last day taking calls from people who had only just found out i was leaving and gutted that they hadnt seen the non-existant card or collection.

happiest moment of my life was when i walked out of there that day.

HollyBerryBush · 10/03/2013 18:23

I have to say, there is what I would call a large staff turn over (school) of 15-20 every year. Most of those I barely see or have a need to talk to. I certainly don't bother with collections. If I particularly like that member who is leaving, I do a personalised card.

However, even when long standing senior staff have left, only 40 odd people turn up to leaving dos and most of those are ex-staff from years ago.

Leaving do's just dont seem the culture any longer.

It would have to be someone very special leaving for me to go home, get changed, sort the kids out, go back out and think about getting a cab home again. To be fair, I am anti-social though.

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy · 10/03/2013 18:24

Im confused by a bit, you said you left a day earlier than your last day? So they thought you were leaving the following day?

nellyjelly · 10/03/2013 18:32

I went on mat leave from one job and got a £10 voucher and the boss had put in £5 of that. They were an unpleasant bunch. Went on mat leave on another job and got £150 voucher and flowers and chocs.

Some people are just miserable.

Original poster

Happymothersday · 10/03/2013 19:09

Holly - we're not talking about a night out. We're talking about people stopping their work for 5 mins to say "bye."

wellslapmy - my last day was a Friday. There was an email on the Monday saying that I was leaving on the Thursday. They couldn't even get that right.

OP posts:

INeedThatForkOff · 10/03/2013 19:27

Do you work part time by any chance? I left for maternity leave a few months ago and had nothing. The mum-to-be before me received some jewellery, which I'd been expected to contribute to. However she is FT and I'm invisible PT (0.5)

Fairyliz · 10/03/2013 19:56

Difficult really, I work in a school office and I'm always expected to arrange collections. I send a note around but very few people contribute (yes I'm looking at you teachers!) So I end up with about £7.50 to try and get a present. I usually end up putting in about £20 myself to get something decent but it does get a bit expensive.

Rowgtfc72 · 10/03/2013 22:39

I left my job of 8 yrs last week. A few people came up to me to say goodbye. I took in a card and chocs for the rest of the staff but after a day of backstabbing by some people took the chocs home with me.When I left the card I was told someone had asked if anyone was doing a card and they were told not to bother.Yes, part-time = invisible.

poglol · 10/03/2013 23:41

I feel very bad for you OP. Everyone likes to feel valued. I think you don't care about a big gift, you just wanted to be acknowledged for all your hard work. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

The poor lady who worked in the nursery - wtf?

My work always do big birthdays and forgot mine - it really upset me. I got a gift 3 weeks later but it's kind of too late by then. I know it's no where near as bad but know it makes you feel awful when it happens.

Sounds like you are both better off out of there.

jaywall · 11/03/2013 02:20

Maybe you smell ?

Bessie123 · 11/03/2013 02:44

I can't believe the story of 40 years' service and nothing, that is

Kytti · 11/03/2013 02:52

16 years at a large, well-known company. SIXTEEN YEARS! Nothing at all from management. No team speech, not even an email saying thanks.

My close friends did a collection off their own back and came out for a drink, but there was nothing from 'proper' work at all. Sign of the times. But then again, I live by the maxim that the only person you should be loyal to (at work) is yourself.

coatonarack · 11/03/2013 14:57

These stories are shocking. I don't think it's a sign of the times though - my DH left his job 2 years ago (or maybe things have changed in 2 years) and got a huge collection and a standing ovation when he walked out of the office for the last time.

"sign of the times" is just an excuse for employers to be bastards.

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