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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be thinking go the fuck to sleep

44 replies

BananaPie · 09/03/2013 20:19

Just that really.

Have been sitting in dark next to 2 year old dd's bed for almost an hour. She was up at 7am, had an hour's nap after lunch. Put her into bed at 7:30pm, and she's still not asleep.

I need the loo and a glass of wine (not at the same time obviously)

OP posts:

Carolra · 09/03/2013 21:19

Army crawling across the floor! Brilliant. Been there too. Mine has a vice like grip, my brother once babysat for us and we casually told him "oh if she wakes up, just hold her hand for 5 mins till she goes back to sleep..." We came home 2 hrs later to find him sat on the floor by her bed, she was sound asleep but he couldn't work out how to get her to let go of his hand. Hilarious!

dutchyoriginal · 09/03/2013 21:23

Context: DS (2.11) has been an awful and brilliant sleeper on and off. Awful again since NYE and DH spends most evenings "working" at his laptop upstairs, so that DS knows someone is upstairs with him.

Cue DH's birthday. DS "gave" DH 'go the fuck to sleep'. Not well thought out on my side, because now DS wants it read to him, so we have to change the wording to "Everybody's asleep AND BABY AS WELL, EVEN BEFORE THE ANIMALS!" (didn't want him to get any more ideas)

No such luck. At every page, DS pipes up 'baby awake, baby don't WANT to sleep!'

AmazingBouncingFerret · 09/03/2013 21:23

Yes! Omg the vice like grip, I'd forgotten about that. Also their eyes flying open as soon as you shuffle about to avoid pins and needles!

Original poster

BananaPie · 09/03/2013 21:49

Hahaha, glad it's not just me, can totally relate to the vice like grip and shuffling to avoid pins and needles.

OP posts:

TheDetective · 09/03/2013 21:51

Another one rocking manically and thinking GTF2S!

15 week old. Was a relatively good sleeper. Til reflux hell entered his life at 10 weeks :(

Attempting transfer... 3...2...1....

Original poster

BananaPie · 09/03/2013 21:54

We used to rock maniacally... Then she got too heavy.

I suppose sitting on the floor is marginally better ( despite the pins and needles)

OP posts:

ValiumQueen · 09/03/2013 21:57

I guessed I would find you on here somewhere detective

I have two little sods that will not sleep, and a 6yo who gets woken by them.

For our 2yo we did rapid return. It was hard but after 3 nights she was fixed. She usually goes to sleep fine now so long as she does not nap (glares at DH) the wee one is too small for that at 4 months.

babybythesea · 09/03/2013 21:58

Another link.

Not the Go the Fuck to sleep but a song called 'Lullaby' by Tim Minchin.

I think it's brilliant!

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 09/03/2013 22:00

I came on to recommend the book, but see its already been done. I hadn't, however, ever heard the Samuel L Jackson audio. I am in total stitches that is bloody fantastic

Hope you get some fucking sleep OP :)

LiegeAndLief · 09/03/2013 22:01

Oh ThePskettiIncident beat me to Tim Minchin. I have had two terrible sleepers and have sung that song to them (mostly in jest) many times, although I have to hum it now that the youngest is 3!

The lyric "My heart says I love you, but my brain's saying fuck you" neatly sums up many many hours spent rocking/stroking/singing/sat by a child's bed with pins and needles...

The man is a genius.

Booyhoo · 09/03/2013 22:01

misread the title. was worried for the sheep.

didireallysaythat · 09/03/2013 22:02

I sometimes pat the 2 year old to sleep in the middle of the night. Woke up at 4am this morning (asleep in sleeping bag next to his cot bed) to find him patting me.

Its been a long week. But I'm not on sleeping bag duty tonight...

LifeSavedbyLego · 09/03/2013 22:03

If it is any help ds1 and 2 were awful truly awful. Reflux hell when tiny generally hell when slightly older. Ds2 didn't even think about sleeping through until 15 months hell.

Now they are 6 and 4 and get put to bed at 6:45 and that is the last I see of them until 6:45 the next morning.

The light at the end of the tunnel isn't necessarily a train, there is hope.

LiegeAndLief · 09/03/2013 22:04

Incidently, when both of mine were 2, an hours nap would have been a disaster. Even 20min could mean they were up till 10pm. Have you tried cutting out the nap? It was a hellish week or two while they adjusted but then they slept much much better.

Carolra · 09/03/2013 22:06

Oh god... The rocking and sshing... Hours of it. My DH said getting her into her cot after she was asleep was like deploying a nuclear missile... Put it down carefully and then back the f*ck away. I do not miss those days!!

AlfieandAnnieRose · 09/03/2013 22:16

AmazingBouncingFerret I read your commando crawling to mean you had no underwear on! Was wondering why you would be left sitting with no pants on. Until someone up thread said army crawling, now that makes more sense!

TheDetective · 09/03/2013 22:46

I do love the swaddle, dummy and white noise though. It's just getting him out my arms that can be tricky!

Now go the FUCK to sleep!

Judyandherdreamofhorses · 09/03/2013 22:53

Thank you for the Tim Minchin song. It helped me through a terrible evening tonight!

foreverondiet · 10/03/2013 07:39

All three of my DC dropped daytime sleep age 2 when they didn't go to sleep at 7pm. DD was 2 y 6 month, Ds1 was almost three but Ds2 was just after 2 birthday.

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