To think the security guard should not take my dd

[LadyApricot]

Shopping today in my local supermarket the security guard stops for a chat in a friendly way. She's 2 and he was full of advice after having two of his own
Bit he then picked her up nd talked to her for a bit and proceeded to walk with is while I did my shopping while he held her hand
Wow, I thought 'he's friendly' maybe too friendly but then I shop here every day, it's a small village..I guess it's ok even though everyone's looking at us!
Then as I went to checkout, he stayed chatting away and commented on how I need to be careful as she would go off with anyone. I said 'that's worrying'
As I was paying he just walked off with her! Right down to the exit and sat her on the customer service desk!
I felt sick! She looked worried too
I told the cashier I didn't feel comfortable and luckily a friend was passing and I told him to go and watch dd while I paid as I couldn't just leave
I left the store feeling more than worried. You don't know who's out there or what he's like
I visit this store every day and now I feel I dont want to go back in case he tries anything again
Am I being unreasonable to be creeped out by this?

I can see why you might find it weird - particularly if he commented 'she'd go off with anyone' which implies he thinks its unusual too. Like HollyBB I was also reflecting what a UK hang up this is, we took DD to Greece when she was whisked away wherever we went, in many restaurants she wouldn't reappear until the end of the meal... we thought it was really welcoming!

i think OP was probably a bit in shock or maybe unsure whether she would be over reacting to tell him to put her down. it's understandable. but yes in future, anything you are uncomfortable with, YOU stop.

I agree with Holly - in Kenya this Christmas my DS and his cousin (both 1yo) were routinely picked up and kissed and cuddled by waiters in restaurants, the private security guards at the compound gate, the Maasi guides on safari, the nurses on the paed ward in the hospital who just scooped them up and wandered off to entertain them. Cultural differences though.

I can understand why the op didn't say anything.

Am sure it was just as boo said.

I would find it a bit odd but not "freaky" iyswim. Completely agree re different countries/cultures - I would imagine only Americans could be more freaked out by this type of thing than us Brits!

i'm really shocked at someone liking the fact that their dc was taken out of their sight for the length of an entire meal by strangers in a foreign country. at the very least, didn't your dd want to eat with her parents?

I agree in another country it's more acceptable but he's a local and I still find it really weird. The store is big, it's a big village.
Yea I should've said something but I'm a complete wimp. I was taken by surprise and didn't know what to say
I'm going to call the manager and politely tell him what happened. Hopefully he will say a member of staff brought it to his attention because I have no other supermarket I can go to and I don't drive!

I don't think it's right to ring the manager just because you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to bring her back as he walked off.

If you go in there again and he goes to take her, just say "Sorry, I want her here with me" and smile firmly.

No need to involve the manager at all.

Was it in house security or an outside company?

While it may happen elsewhere it's different in the UK. I would just tell your DD not to go away with anyone they don't know.

I'm sure there's nothing in it but it's beyond what he should do and could be sacked for it.

i can understand you not wanting to say anything to him, but TBH when it comes to your child's safety, wimping out just doesn't cut it. what is more important, that your child is safely within her comfort zone in view of you or that the stranger walking off with her isn't offended?

just be firm in future. this guy just sounds friendly but again, he is at work and unless he is known to your family, i'd say his employers wouldn't be happy about him doing this. state your boundaries next time, if after that he crosses them, then you speak to the manager.

If you need to shop there and he tries it again just say "I'd rather you didn't as you were right, she would go with anyone, so I'm instilling boundaries so can't let her go off with other people, thanks".

If he was funny with you after that then I would go to the manager.

Yea I should've said something but I'm a complete wimp

Quite honestly, when it comes to protecting our children we cannot afford to be wimps.

My DD age 7 will talk to anyone, go off with anyone, trusts everyone.

There is a man who lives near us,who travels on our local bus daily who IS a predatory paedophile. I know this because he groped my god daughter on the bus. I know this girl well(obviously) and know she is telling the truth, but to the police it is her word against his.

He looks at my DD as a man would look at a page three girl. He tried speaking to my DC. I told him straight on the bus in front of every one 'You do not speak to my children, they do not need to think you are an ok person to talk to, you are not, you are a danger to children, in fact, do not even look at my children'

I don't care about manners, I care about my children not getting the wrong impression about this man and people in general.

He now averts his eyes when we see him and my DD now does not think he is our friend as she was convinced of before 'We see him every day, he must be our friend'.

Well done mamma! I hope to have your inner strength if in such a situation (fingers crossed never).