To just want a bloody sit down

[fber]

Ds (5) is demanding, won't play much independently and wants constant stimulation. He's really hard work. I appreciate that this is my fault entirely - mostly because (I think) I never left him alone for a moment when he was a baby, I was always faffing and fretting about him. dd (3) is different again.

Today dd is a bit under the weather and we are just sitting on the sofa watching tv. Ds is whingeing continually 'what can I do, I"m BORED!!!!'

AIBU to sit down and expect him just to entertain himself for an hour or so? I'm continually knackered and I just want to tell him to be quiet and do some colouring or play with his train track or something. I'm at the end of my tether. i know the way he is is my own doing, but AIBU for wanting an hour's peace? :(

So tell him that. "Mummy is tired. Play with your trains by yourself for awhile."

Keep saying until he does.

Its not necessarily you, I have 3 DS's - DS1 and DS3 are very like this, DS2 is completely happy to be independent.

To be honest nowadays I just say no, and then sit. When we've been up early and out doing x, providing y and engaging with z, by 3pm I'm knackered and its just too bad if DS1 moans that he wants to go out again. I think its quite good for them to learn that you are not 24/7 at their beck and call for entertainment.

nintendo helps

Well as you know that he is like this because you have made him like this, then I'm afraid yabalittleu. If you do something with him every time he demands then he quite rightly expects it and today should be no different for him.

However a poorly DD who needs cuddles should just be cuddled so this may be a good opportunity to start a new routine with DS whereby he entertains himself for a short while at a time.

Maybe use a timer. Start off with 5 mins, if he plays by himself, you'll read a book with him. Over the next few days increase this. If he disrupts you again ie says he is bored, start time from beginning. Dont know if this will work, sound like a good plan though...

I have one of these, it's exhausting isn't it? They also seem to be hugely persistent too. I sit in another room for a break. Try it. Doesn't last long mind, but usually buys me about 1/2 an hour.

Also find the very helpful......

I believe these dc's are born the way they are, it's temperament. Ds was a breeze....

It probably isn't you. Sone children are like that. One of mine wouldn't play alone, the other one is entirely happy to. But I do often tell them to 'have some quiet time' or 'Free play', which translates to 'bugger off and leave me alone for a bit'. If all else fails buy them a DS.

That should be ipad of course, but it auto- corrected itself out of existence there..

It does sound pretty boring to be honest, as is playing alone when he's surely been at school all week and just wants some time with you?

My entire childhood went something like this:

'I'm bored'

'How can you be bored, you're 6?'

I got fed up of complaining pretty quickly.

Thanks all. the bloody guilt kills me.. that's how it got like this in the first place I'm sure!

The guilt kills me too, but it's not you, it's the way he was born. We have 4 dc between us, only dd who is the youngest is like this, the rest needed very little entertainment.

Are there games you could play that would involve sit down time for you but keep him occupied? Like a scavenger hunt? Write down a list of items or item descriptions and have him find them all for a small prize (biscuit or something?)

Oh my god do not feel guilt you must be totally burnt out!

I used to be really blunt about it. I would tell the kids I would play with them or entertain them later but only after I got to sit down and relax without being other end first. I was very crabby definite about it.

Then, when I did play with them I did it wholeheartedly.

I've often been known to say 'it's not my job to entertain you'. When I do join in with them I do it whole heartedly - it's not expected though. Plus I'm usually making the little darlings food. They do need to learn to entertain themselves, it's an important life skill! Ignore the whining and have a sit down

I don't necessarily think this is your fault either. Maybe he was always demanding and that is why you fussed around him?

My natural inclination is to leave children to it and I have one child who is happy to be left and will entertain themselves for hours with a bowl of washing up water, and one who (until very recently) wanted constant entertainment.

Have a meeting with the whole family. Outline your problem and then invite solutions. He may well surprise you. Make sure you write down ALL the suggestions, even if you don't like the sound of them. Discuss the results and see what happens.

Give him a matchbox or very small box, and tell him to put as many things in to it as he can fit.

Takes hours..........

I've always been very firm about my time. Kids need to learn to amuse themselves.