to think no way in hell could wise old women have gone through the same depression as i am currently!!! sorry LONG

[OMGmylifesucks]

so about 5 months ago I went through what could only be described as a complete mental breakdown! spent a month in hospital then released to come home on the condition I will have daily visits from community mental health nurses. agreed as wanted to just go home. do for the past few months have been on various meds which practically wipe me out so even making a cup of tea is too much.

so today I get a call from a concerned aunty (family friend) who basically implied I'm causing myself to be ill & should just get o with it. she apparently went through the same depression 40 years ago & at the time she also had 8 kids to lookafter. so if she cam.do it anyone can. I do appreciate she went through a very shitty time but mine & her situation are completely. first off I doubt she went through sexual.child about from the age of 5-10 and secondly I doubt she was hearing voices in her telling her to kill herself (or maybe there were I don't know).

after putting the phone down I felt so angry like how dare.she.tell me to get a grip.& get on with it. all I wanted to do at this point was grab something & smash it. the to top it off my DP decided he will be working late & it's best for me to stay at mums. despite me.telling him how I fesling at the time he continued to stay I needed to try & be more.conscious about leaving our DD at my parents as he thinks we maybe taking.them.for granted & told me to take a zopiclone and go to sleep. I sweat if he was in front of me I would have smacked him. so I popped my usual nightly pills alongside.zopiclone.& went to bed fuming.

I of course have woken up.in the same mood

so am being childish and.over reacting or do I have valid points???

ok so I have no idea whether this is the right place to post this but I needed to get it off my chest....

my mother told me I wasn;t depressed, I was being bold...so I told her to fuck off.
naturally there are those who have had it worse. those that have had it as bad realise this and don't say it.
being unwell is not a pissing competition. if she wants a badge then i am sure the queen has one in the post for her. well done.
look after yourself, that is all there is to it. anyway the phone calls can be screened?

that was sexual child abuse not about , feeling not fesling.
swear not sweat.

sorry about spelling errors I'm on my phone :(

No yanbu.

Have to say though your reaction is good, surely it shows how far you have come. Had she said this to you months ago how would you have reacted then?

Apologies for the fence sitting in advance.....

1. Your Aunt is relating her experience and in a way she is right, there was very much a mind set of 'get on with it' 40 years ago. However you're right, her experience has nothing to do with yours - it's all relative isn't it and maybe she's bitter that society wasn't quite so sympathetic or supportive in her day. I'd put good money on you not knowing the ins and outs of her circumstances either but this is probably not the time to sit and compare notes.

1. Your DH will be under a lot of pressure, unless he's an absolute saint he will crack and snap/not say what you want to hear when he's trying to juggle keeping things ticking along. You're allowed to be annoyed/frustrated about that, of course you are, but it might help to lower your expectations of how much he can cope with.

Basically holding up your own illness as a benchmark for expectations of those around you is just going to lead to you getting angry and frustrated. Those feelings are valid, but they're not particularly reasonable in the wider context of people just trying to do their best within their own limitations.

Say your piece then come on MN and vent to your hearts content, you need to concentrate on yourself getting to a better place, and I understand it's hard for anyone to get to a place where they're able to put others annoying actions to one side, but if you can vent and then try it'll be better for you.

japo ur right it's nothing to brag about & yes phone calls can indeed be screened and I usually avoid talking to anyone. I only spoke to her because mum insisted!

love ur right had this been a few months ago I would have told her to F* off in not so many words.

YANBU.... My mother doesn't 'believe' depression exists and therefore was never told when I had (albeit mild) depression as she would tell me to 'get a grip' as she has with someone else we know.

It does sound like your aunt is trying to help. Like she thinks its the best thing for you, in her head anyway so maybe don't judge her for that. She experienced depression a long time ago when it wasn't recognised the same way.

I hope you are getting better and that a rant has helped. It's brilliant that you are home!

Yanbu, but if you're really feeling you want to hurt someone I think you need to phone your nurse, they are there to help when you get down days like this. Talk it through and prevent it becoming the norm.

If there is any chance that she was offering some well meaning, but ill thought out and unwanted advice, then I would just write it off as an attempt to help which wasn't really helpful. Wasting energy on feeling cross with her isn't productive, won't change her mind about how you should be dealing with things and will only stand in the way of your recovery.

your all right I know she meant well but of course that's not how it came across to me. I've just slept it off by having an afternoon nap with my DD.

But I'm still p**d off at my DH for the just take pill & go to sleep. I'm really upset at that :(