to think school can shove their cocking badger costume up their cocking arses, and never ever ever again provide the stupid costumes they demand?

[QueenOfFarkingEverything]

I had a great big ranty thread last week about school sending me a letter asking me to send my 10yr old DD dressed as a badger for World Book Day.

Well. I came up with a badger costume, thanks to MN, a printed out mask, and a nasty shaggy grey fake fur thing from the hospice shop.

And then I bribed DD to wear it, as, being 10, it wasn't exactly her idea of fun.

And then the class acted out an extract from the book (Fantastic Mr Fox) that didn't even HAVE ANY FUCKING BADGERS IN IT and DD had to narrate from the sidelines instead, and the little girl from Yr 1 who had also been asked to be a badger had to sit out.

WTactualF

I would love to be a badger fly on the wall in your school staff room to understand how they come up with this kind of torture. David Lynch meets Beatrix Potter. Administering all this school stuff is like a full time job now. I open the book bag with trepidation these days. And Yanbu obviously.

Next time send her with a sign saying "I'm a badger""

DS was a lion in his nativity play. His best mate was a bear.
Though I am thrilled that his school does almost no dress-up days and for nativity plays etc, school provides the costumes. It's great and I feel so lucky when I read all this World Book Day stuff - DS's school celebrated it with extra reading sessions. Perfect.

The badger is hilarious though. Sorry.

i'm not looking forward to next year as my ds will have started reception in sept. I am not very creative & reading all these threads about costumes is making me very nervous. I've got a year to learn how to sew etc!

They should've had the Badger Parade

And.... Blame it on the badgers

Oh shit, just woke the baby reading this out to dp and laughing! Serves me right for singing "round yon badger" to him...

Once in Royal Badger's city
Stood a lowly Badger's sett
Where a badger lay her cubby
In a manger for his bed

How infuriating, all that effort and badger was irrelevant! Send her to school every fancy dress day as a badger, and rope in as many kids as you can. Teacher will regret ever mentioning badgers! The whole episode sort of reminds me of Love Actually when Emma Thompson's character's DD had to be a nativity lobster!!

Karen: So what's this big news, then?
Daisy: [excited] We've been given our parts in the nativity play. And I'm the lobster.
Karen: The lobster?
Daisy: Yeah!
Karen: In the nativity play?
Daisy: [beaming] Yeah, first lobster.
Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Daisy: Duh.

@ lobsters. I was telling the badger tale to my HV the other day and she was recounting how her now teenaged son volunteered to be the camel one year for his school nativity.

So... would it be ridiculously PFB of me to complain about this?

This is why I am glad all mine are in senior school - no more stupid dress up days
Well I thought this would be the case but no such luck. Ds is at SN school and although he's gone 'upstairs' and I've had to buy a whole new uniform in a different shade of blue they still join in all the dressing up days etc. Need an 80s themed costume for next week. I'm going to dress him up as Bodie, more 70s I know but it didn't end until 83 so I reckon I'll get away with it. Better not give him a gun though as it could cause some kind of scare if he waves it about in the taxi on the way to school .

DH and I have just pissed ourselves at that badger thing up thread

OP YANBU, you will sound loony if you complain, but I think if I was you I would!

No - not at all PFB to complain - on the condition that you print out this thread & your first 'cocking badgers' thread & take them with you as evidence/support.

Am now close to hysteria re lobsters & badgers.

Sorry I am PMSL.

I love the school DC's are at, no WBD instead they go dressed in own clothes and take something in for PTA bingo.

Your original post was like one of those Hollywood movies... epic journey of self discovery and huge sacrifice where everyone pulls together to get the underdog across the final hurdle (soundtrack Eye of the Tiger). I was really cheering for you and had visions of you DD tri?mphantly walking the hallway at school with everyone staring agape and making room for her to pass. I was really cheering for that cocking badger!

Then I read the reality and can't help but actually laugh out loud.

Bloody school. C'mon, fess up. Who exactly have you offended there?

OP, I am totally with you. I am totally sick to the back teeth of jumping through hoops for the school for absolutely no bloody purpose whatsoever. I was cross enough when DS told me that, despite telling them to dress as their favourite character from a book and take the book in, there was no discussion AT ALL during the day about the books in question. Waste of bloody time. But your beats my whinge hands down!

I love your thread title.

I have never fully recovered from having to dress up as Mrs Beaver in the school play .

If I were you I would regularly badger the school by asking what sett your dd is in .

OMG Just reading the title had me laughing and all the badger stuff is cracking! Poor Dd op scarred forever now from dressing as a badger.
I love the idea of the sign, "I'm a badger" may have to pinch that idea myself. I did have an orange tee shirt for haloween one year that said "this is my costume"

This, right here, is why I plan on homeschooling my DCs!

There may be one or two other reasons... I'm not just that anti-costumes!

I absolutely love this thread. Thank you for going through this to make us happy. Am almost crying at the virgin badger :o

I am imagining the COSTUME being brought out at all important occasions...prom, graduation, engagement, birth of first born etc etc with queen standing sternly over her DD saying 'I made it, and you are going to cocking wear it'

We generally ignore all letters sent home from school, and since they made me cry in a meeting, they don't seem to push this shit. That said, DD was a pogging sheep in the nativity even though she can sing like an angel and is the prettiest girl you've ever seen so I made her the most adorable sheep dress in the world. Smug. As.

Can we all telephone our local A&E departments to find out if they have any casualties in, waiting to have emergency intra-rectal-badger-costume-ectomy surgery?

I have a mental image

I think DD should keep the costume at school and whenever she doesn't want to do something she can put it on and say 'I'm a badger, badgers don't take part in x'.

DD has now explained more fully.

It turns out that the school was divided into their 'house teams' (its a tiny village school with under 40 children and mixed age classes) and each team had a different book assigned to them with the instruction to all come dressed as a different character from the book (hence the badger letter) ready to act out an extract for the rest of the school to watch. Then, the house captain (a Yr 6 child) was in charge of choosing said extract and organising the acting on the day. DD's house team captain is a child she doesn't get on with very well, and so it looks like the choosing of a badger-free extract was no accident which of course makes it even worse and I cannot fucking BELIEVE the staff let it happen.

The child I really really feel for is the little girl from Yr 1 who had also come all dressed up as a badger and just had to sit out while the others acted out a badger-free scene. How shit is that?

That is brilliant SparklyAntlers.

QueenOfFarkingEverything - I'm really sorry for your DD, but honestly this thread is a classic! I wish every primary teacher up and down the land could read it.