Aibu to send dd to a different nursery to the school she will go to

[havingamadmoment]

Dd 1 ds1 and dd3 all attend a primary school with a nursery attached. They attended (dd3 is in nursery this year) the nursery for 2 full days a week. However, starting next year the school will only be offering 5 morning or 5 afternoon sessions.

We live a 25 minute walk from the school, no one else lives as far out as we do (most people come from the estate around the school ) we were unlucky with our initial school allocation for dc1 as we did t get any of our 3 choices which were closer, we stayed there though as we were happy with it.

Anyway come September it wine 25 mins to the school, 25 mins back for 9. 25 mins there and back at 12 and 25 mins at 3.

I COULD do it I mean its physically possible but its not going to make for a nice year for me and dc5 who will spend most of it in be buggy!.there is a private school nursery close to our house which has places. We could afford for one dc. I have no intention of sending her to school there (we could only afford 1 dc there so totally unfair I the others!) but I was thinking of sending her there for the nursery year then to the current school for reception.

This of course means that she will start the school new in reception leaving nursery friends when others will simply be moving up from nursery together.

AIBU to do this simply to make life easier for myself?

Dd goes to a private nursery that doesn't have a school attached at all, most nurseries are like this aren't they?

I always assumed dd would be ok, I hope so anyway! Will be interested in your replies...

She won't be the only one who didn't go to nursery there, makes no difference imo

we are moving DS to a different nursery. He went for his taster session and settled straight in. I know it seems hard but they have fairly short memories. With 5 DCs you do need to make a few things a little easier on yourself I think. Also, if none of your kids need it then fine, but if one would hugely benefit from something the private school could offer I wouldn't necessarily rule it out on fairness grounds - DH went private and his sister didn't, that was their choice and it was the right decision for them respectively.

You should check the admissions criteria for reception.

Some schools give priority to children who have been through the nursery. Particularly as you live far from the school, if it is a bulge year with many siblings who have been to nursery and live closer to the school, she may not be offered a place.

Assuming you cannot move or have other DCs move schools, have you considered options such as organising a rota with other nursery mums who live near you (if there are any), or getting a childminder to look after her for the afternoon (may still be cheaper than private nursery)

YANBU she will be fine. My DD went to 2 nurseries and then a different school. Most kids will adapt.

My DD went to a private nursery and then started reception in a different town (because we'd moved).

I'll be honest, she's found it hard as she didn't know a soul. But she's gradually finding her feet and has made a couple of friends.

It's been quite difficult and at first I over-compensated by fixing up loads of play dates with her new classmates. In hindsight I wouldn't have made such a big deal of the issue as it was too tiring for her.

She's adapting socially and is doing well academically so in the long run I don't think will make any difference to her schooling.

I would go with whatever works best for you.

I did exactly that - yanbu - and it made no difference to our admission criteria

YANBU; I would recommend you do this and make life easier for yourself! There will probably be other children in the same position. Our situation was the other way round; we couldn't get DS into the local nursery school, so took him to a playgroup about 25 minutes walk away. He then went to the local school, but there were also 4 other children from the playgroup going with him. I am not sure that they make particularly good friends in nursery anyway; DS didn't make any real school friends until he started primary. Oddly enough, some of his best friends at secondary were children who had been to the same playgroup but who had gone to a different primary.

My DD is 2.5 and attends nursery (as in day care). When she qualifies for her pre-school hours next Jan I have a decision to make as to whether to leave her where she is or enrol her in the pre-school attached to the primary she will likely attend.

Most working mums I know with toddlers and preschoolers are leaving them in their day care nurseries for their funded preschool sessions. I guess to put off the inevitable of school holidays and the short school day as long as possible. I can't see this would be any different tbh.

Do they mainly move up to reception from the attached pre-school or will they be coming from lots of different pre-schools? I think it is hard if she's likely to be the only new one (or one of a very small number).

I wouldn't have a problem with paying fees for one DC only in these circumstances though.

My ds went to a nursery that wasn't attached to a school. It was a lovely holistic place where they really learned through play. He then went to school where all the children in his class had been to the attached nursery. It wasn't a problem. He settled in and made friends. I don't think nursery is a place where the little cliques are made. He didn't stand out at all.

DS started at a different preschool from the one that he went to in P1. It was fine, at that age I don't think it causes any problems at all.

My older two went to a private preschool until they went to reception. They adapted well and made friends easily enough. My younger two are at the nursery attached to the school the older two attend. It was the right thing to do for the little two - ds2 needed the structure the nursery provides and dd3 needed the extra time at home with me that the others didn't get going to preschool. You have to do what is right for each child.

I walk to and from school three times a day and will do until Sept 2014. Its a 20 min walk there and longer back with the dc in tow. Some days I feel like I might as well live at the school.

If I were you I would a)Check school admissions policy b) make sure you tell the school why you are doing what you are doing (you may not be the only one it inconveniences and numbers may well be affected) and c) try and get your dd involved with the children she will be at school with.

It certainly wouldn't be fun for your dd in the buggy in all weathers, so I wouldn't hesitate to use the private nursery.

All my children have and will go to a different nursery than the one attached to their primary school. The older 2 and the baby will actually go to a nursery attached to a different primary school. Nursery school attended doesn't factor into the admissions criteria of their primary school. I haven't had any settling in issues.