To take an instant dislike

[Tuppytuptup]

To some people. Without even knowing them? Why do people do this?

I don't know. It rarely happens with me. However, I did take an instant dislike to one person, then decided I was being unreasonable and judgemental and gave her a good chance and stuff, now have found out she's a snobby twat.

But at least I bothered to try and put my judginess aside just in case she was just a bit shy (like me) and was coming across as a snobby twat because of it.

She wasn't.

I do too. I also really like some people instantly.
99% of the time my initial feelings towards a person are justified.
But I do give everyone the benefit of my doubt and get to know them properly before making a decision and try not to let my initial reactions, good or bad cloud my judgement.

As I get older, I find myself truly instantly liking people less and less.

I am too suspicious.

When you see something in someone else that you dislike about yourself you instantly dislike them.

I don't think I'm that snobby though. Seriously I have so little to be snobby about.

I like most people in a general 'you're okay kind of way', but I really like so few people instantly these days.

Read a book called 'Blink.' It's all about why that feeling can be the most accurate and useful feeling of all.,

I find it's when someone looks like someone else I dislike.

I tend to take an instant dislike/like to someone. DH is the same. It's very rare that I have been wrong.

Apparently when you first meet someone they subconsciously remind you of someone you already know, and this influences your first impression of them.

I do this. On every occasion I have been right - they turn out to be total tossers. My mum used to get pretty annoyed when I said I didn't like someone and not be able to give a reason, just that I had a bit of a feeling, but now she listens.

Sadly, I felt this way about someone and now they are my SIL. I really, really hope that I am wrong on this one and thankfully, I never told my brother how I felt!

Oh I wish I had this! I have no internal radar at all due to abusive childhood I grew up totally ignoring my instinct/ intuition/ internal thoughts so have great trouble being able to identify friend or foe... I can safely say that I'd love a bit of that instant judgement stuff! Funny how same cause can turn one persons radar on full, & another's off altogether... Both v tiring I'd say.

I try & listen to what I'm feeling but unless it's speaking very very VERY loud I can't hear it at all! Grrrr (goes off to grind teeth as will be meeting a whole load of strangers today at ds birthday party and would love to make a few friends but won't as I won't be able to wade through the miasma of social interaction to work out who I might get on with, sigh).

So in short... Up with the instinct, its good for you!

It doesn't often happen, but sometimes I do instantly dislike someone and rarely do I care, or change my mind. I figure my subconscious has picked up on something and I just go with it.

It's happened to me a handful of times. I invariably tell myself not to be such a bitch and give them a chance.

100% betrayal rate.

Next time, I'm trusting my instincts!!

I have listen to this now, in the past, I've given 2 different people the benefit of doubt, told myself I was being a judgemental cow and made an effort even though I'd had an instant dislike to them. In both cases, my spidy-sense was right, they both turned out to be very bad people for me to have in my life.

I now listen to instincts - am polite but don't let people I'm wary off into my life.

I do this too. And usually I am right.

I do this. I used to ignore it but I have beeen right so many times. Now I trust my instincts

My DH does this, usually only ŵith other men, and he is usually right .

I'm so glad it's not just me. It makes me feel very judgmental and shallow. I've just taken an instant dislike to a close friend's new partner, which is rather awkward.

I get this sometimes but I try hard not to actually act on it as I've found I'm wrong as often as I'm right. So YANBU to feel like your hackles rise when you meet some people for the first time but YWBU to be rude or unpleasant or not give people a chance because of it.

I have no idea why I feel like this...possibly sometimes it's someone with traits that remind of someone who is genuinely unpleasant? Maybe it's being judgemental or jealous? I don't know, but it's not a nice side to my personality.

This has only ever happened to me once with a woman who seemed to befriend my mum. She was a very needy clingy woman who seemed to like telling you her tragic life story within a few minutes of meeting her, she also was on the phone to my mum constantly asking for her advice on all sorts of things despite having only just met her. I also disliked the way she talked about her two DD's, my mum would never talk a both my brother and I like that to someone she barely knew and likewise I'd never talk about mine like that. She called them hateful names.

I think I was probably right about her because in the end my mum decided to cut her loose due to her getting on her nerves.

I just want to make the point that if you form such opinions, then it is not unlikely you would continue to hold that view about the person whether it was right or wrong. We tend to seek out evidence to support our views rather than the other way round, and cognitive dissonance will prevent us from backing down. I also believe our instincts are helpful but don't think this is a get out of jail free card to giving people a chance. Having said that I do sometimes take instant, seemingly irrational dislikes to people. But in some cases this has been more about me than them- in fact one person this happened with went on to be a good friend. So i recognise in myself that my judgements are not 100% accurate. Maybe it depends on what the characteristics are that cause you to feel dislike - someone loud and boisterous not the same as someone who seems to be dishonest/ violent.

I do this, and I've got better at reading people with age. My first instincts are always right. I've tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, but they always end up how I imagined they'd be.