Should my sis speak to DN teacher?

[Slinkysista]

My DN is in reception class, she is very chatty and fun when she's around people she knows and has great fun with her cousins. The problem is when she's at school, she is a real loner, she walks around the playground alone most days. My sis has spoken with the teacher who has fobbed her off saying that the other children in the class have not really formed friendship groups as yet but they actually do seem to have.
It's breaking my sisters heart and mine I have to say at the thought of our beautiful, fun, kindhearted daughter/niece walking around on her own without friends. My sister is not on Mumsnet so I to her I'd ask for your advice on her behalf. Has anyone dealt with Anythjng like this? Should my sister speak to the teacher again? DN sits at a table with boys only at it, should we ask the teacher to move DN to a table with some girls at it in the hope that she makes some friends.

You've mentioned how you and your Dsis feel, but how does your DN feel?

Is she happy?

How did you find out she just walks around on her own and only sits with boys? If that's how your DN has painted it and you've not heard anything from anywhere else, it might not be how it plays out in reality.

Not that your DN is lying or anything like that, but what happens vs the reality of situation can be totally different when they're really young.

It's not something I would be worried as such, unless there's anything deeper you think is going on and they're deliberately avoiding her for some reason, just keep your eye on it, and as Worra suggests, if your DN likes going to school then you don't want to put things into her head that there might be something wrong.

Am dealing with this a little bit with my DC1 (DD) at the moment, also in Reception. A few weeks back she complained every day that no one played with her. It turned out that one of her friends was off sick that week (she didn't tell me that).

My DD is one of the youngest in her year and at the start of the year innocently thought that the bigger girls and boys (September-born kids but also Year 1, 2, etc) would naturally want to be her friends and it has been heartbreaking to see her realise not everyone does.

Does the school have a "buddy/friendship bench" where children with no one to play with can sit and the teacher can help them to find others to play with?

Someone on here also said on a previous thread that when children that age say no one played with them, what they mean is that they tried to instigate a game but no one joined in. So they played someone else's game.

Another problem for my DD has been that she is a slow eater, so by the time she gets in the playground, everyone has already formed and started their games. Is your DN a slow or fast eater?

As for playing with the boys, I spent much of my primary years playing with the boys and really enjoyed all the superhero games!

That was meant to say 'but your DN saying what happens...'

Yes, I also meant to say something about the boys/girls thing Poppy, that it's getting to the mico-managing level of your DCs friendships when you're trying to control what gender children they're steered towards. Maybe a step too far?

If the child has boys that re friends then steering her away from them towards girls would be off. It sounds like she doesn't have any friends though, boys or girls, so moving her to a mixed table might give her more options.

We would be delighted if she played with the boys in her class but alas she doesn't. She is happy enough to go to school and my sis hasn't made a fuss of it as in questioning her about who she has played with that day but was brought up in the term review and also before this the TA mentioned it in passing, my DS is in the same year group but a different class and he says she walks around alone. He will go over and invite her in to his games with his friends which she enjoys but they don't be in the yard at the same time everyday. Ideally my sister wants DN to make a few little friends of her own.
The buddy bench is a good idea, will mention that to my sister and she can chat to the teacher.

Usually teachers assign mixed groups to tables. Is it possibly that your niece has been chatty with girls, not listening to teacher, so she has been moved just as a temporary measure?

I sussed quite early on my autumn birthday DS was a loner; I forever asked his primary teachers, they were always quick to say oh he's fine. Perhaps it didn't seem of any importance to them as long as he took part in lessons, didn't cause trouble and completed all his work.

If your niece isn't happy or seems to be missing out, do get your sister to chase this up. A buddy bench is a good idea. Keep extra-curricular sports, activities and clubs in mind, we found these helped.