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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I AM being unreasonable. Please come and talk me down before I go and get pregnant RIGHT NOW

67 replies

designerbaby · 08/03/2013 23:01

It's my mother in law's fault for sending me the baby bath video (another thread). And because my DD2 is about to turn three. And fecking hormones.

And I can't because we can't afford it. I run my own business and could not run it with a baby in tow, and it's just doing really well, and I'm enjoying life just as it is, and if I get a colicky non-sleeper like DD1, I will bloody DIE, and actually I nearly did die giving birth to DDs 1&2, and this is NOT rational or sensible.

I'm on a tsunami of emotion and I on't know why, so please come and talk me down before I go and jump DH RIGHT NOW.

QUICK.

db
xx

OP posts:
FreeButtonBee · 09/03/2013 00:09

Yes, I second the "it could be twins" vibes. 2 babies = carnage. Never any time to give them cute baths I tell ya

AudrinaAdare · 09/03/2013 00:16

I saw that earlier. It was lovely. Now imagine that baby with one foot wedged up and under your ribcage and the other dancing on your bladder all night and every night for a month or two.

JohnBender88 · 09/03/2013 01:43

Here's a scarier thought: A mutual friend of a friend and her husband tried for number 3 and got triplets! All naturally!

Pudgy2011 · 09/03/2013 03:07

Oh my gawd that bloody baby bath video - I saw that yesterday, started crying and declared that we had to have another one straight away (have 18 month DS who was such an easy baby it was ridiculous).
Today, I've had to write a list of pros and cons. There are 7 cons on my con list. There are 2 pros on my pros list. And yet.... and yet.

Teds77 · 09/03/2013 03:31

It's the middle of the night and my bed is briefly babyless as both 7 month old twins are miraculously asleep and in their cots. Every bit of me aches and I'm totally shattered. Keep thinking 3 could actually be 4 and that should cure you Grin

.... Although my two have just started getting the cutest fluffiest proper hair and it's the most delicious thing to nuzzle into when we're cuddling... Not that there's anytime for cuddles, just feeding and settling and washing and nappy changing and searching for whatever food my DTD might actually like to eat...

GardenPath · 09/03/2013 04:31

Oh, but babies are sooooo cuuuute! Unfortunately, no one's come up with a growth stunting formula to KEEP them that way! (Have they?) They grow up (ha!) and turn into blood-sucking, parasitic monsters. They answer back, gang up on you, criticize you with curled lip at every turn; what you wear, how you look, what you think; the music you like, nothing you do is good enough and they're all bigger than you. Your life is not your own; every moment of it is dominated by them; awake and you're watching the clock because you're supposed to pick them up from school/guides/their mates/the airport - asleep and you?re nightmaring about which one you'd save first in a ship-wreck/airline crash/abduction/zombie invasion. And no matter how many sacrifices you've made, and that'll be a lot, everything, they always have that comeback 'I didn't ask to be born', to which my stock answer was usually, 'No, and I didn't ask for you, either - I wanted a nice one!' But they're quite right, they didn't ask to be born, the little shits! They've got us, there. We are hostages to our shitarse, turncoat, betraying, back-stabbing hormones. And it's only thanks to them that we don't strangle the snivelling little ingrate bastards - because, Christ, I swear we would otherwise. Then, when they start having their own babies, they?re determined to do it differently, and better - perfectly, in fact, because of course, you have been weighed on their scales and, make no mistake, found wanting. But, at least, at last, there is some small satisfaction, some small validation, one you never imagined and no reasonable mind, surely, would have ever wanted or imagined as any triumph, yet the only one you?re left with, a Pyrrhic victory indeed, that they, too, in their turn, will discover the truth about babies and that you were right all along. If only they?d listened to their mother. But don?t let me put you off, what do I know ? you go right ahead. I can tell you, the first half dozen are the worst. Have you got a link to that baby-bath video?

FellNel · 09/03/2013 05:05

What is the baby bath video? I need to see it. I am very old and highly unlikely to become broody so it's perfectly safe.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 09/03/2013 05:18

My dh took a video of dd2 and me straight after the birth (not during) and the first thing I said to the camera was 'never, ever do this again'. I had the fear in my eyes and look damaged from childbirth eating my toast and tea without being able to stop shaking. Maybe I should send you that video? Probably won't be showing dd2 that one.

FellNel · 09/03/2013 05:23

OK, watched it. Lovely. Just lovely. I was a bit worried he was going to drown though. Confused

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy · 09/03/2013 06:25

Empathy, designerbaby - and schooldidi.
2 dc. Nice stage, nice ages (7 and 5). Light not just at the end of the tunnel but actually here. Last year, pregnant, somewhat of a shock. Miscarriage. Devastated. Tests, clotting prob discovered (I had had miscarriages between the dc too, this was my fourth, dr thought something must be up). Now ttc no. 3 even though things are, seen with my rational head on, just dandy as they are Confused FFS!

PatButchersEarring · 09/03/2013 07:58

Gardenpath Brilliant!! That really made me laugh!

TempusFuckit · 09/03/2013 08:02

Shaking with laughter at GardenPath, while also being a little scared of her Grin

Kyrptonite · 09/03/2013 08:03

I will have one of those baby creatures in September. I am willing to offer a baby share and you can have the midnight-6am shifts!

DoItRight · 09/03/2013 08:05

That post is a classic Gardenpath!! Brilliant Grin

Sparklingbrook · 09/03/2013 08:07

Do you really want 3 teenagers? Comandeering the living room, eating everything in sight, wanting lifts everywhere? Do you? Do you? Eh?

ClairesTravellingCircus · 09/03/2013 08:15

GrinGrinGrin Gardenpath great post!

LondonKitty · 09/03/2013 08:25

Gardenpath - brilliant!! Grin

designerbaby - go for it anyway!!!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/03/2013 08:25

I'm in the same boat as you DB. DD is nearly 5, DS is nearly 3. Everyone around me, including a friend who has two DC's the same ages as mine and my DSis are all expecting in the next few months. Also I'm 35 and thinking if I'm going to have another it should really be now before it's too late.

I don't want a third for all the practical reasons everyone's set out. Plus I worry that with three, one is always likely to be left out all the time. BUT, but, but why do I spend everyday wondering whether I should have another.... The baby bath video did NOT help Grin

designerbaby · 09/03/2013 08:27

Garden path, that was magnificent... I should mentally fast-forward 10 - 15 years every time those hormones kick in.

Also thankfully DD2, the generally wonderfully sleeping DD2 decided to be awake with night terrors and general monkey business for most of last night, as if giving me a warning: "I KNOW I gave you an easy time, that first year, Mummy, but oh, how quickly you forget the lack of sleep by my big sister. Here, have a little reminder ."

I can't post a link to the video, because then I'll watch it again, and all DD2s hard work will have been in vain...

OP posts:
designerbaby · 09/03/2013 08:30

Ah, fuckit.

baby bath

Twang.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 09/03/2013 08:31

I have got to go and stand in the freezing cold watching junior footy this morning. I then have to bring two muddy boys and their kits home and clean them.

They don't tell you that at ante natal.

Oh and Year 9 maths homework. If I had known about that......

whattodoo · 09/03/2013 08:45

Seriously. Seriously.

Why did I click on the link?

I can feel my heart has swollen to the size of a spacehopper with yearning.

But my dumb body is as useless as a space hopper at conceiving.

Best just enjoy the delightful 5yo I've already got and be grateful.

Sigh.

GlaikitFizzog · 09/03/2013 08:59

Oh man! Why, why did I click?? Ds has just hit terrible twos, I want my baby back. Bath times not are more like the sinking of the titanic, not calm relaxing and peaceful.

FellNel · 09/03/2013 09:50

GardenPath has just articulated perfectly the things going on in my head for the last two years of my life.

Enjoy your delicious babies while they are little and lovely, and think you are the best human being on the planet, even if you don't get any sleep/sex/social life for the next five years, because it sure as hell ain't getting any easier as they get older. Sometimes I feel like a chewed up, spat out, invisible, redundant husk of a person who has spent the last 20 years giving my all to a job which I am frequently told I have been crap at.

Ok, it's not always that bad. Sometimes (often) it can still be wonderful. But I yearn for the days when they never had that look of dismissive contempt or impatient irritation in their eyes.

TolliverGroat · 09/03/2013 09:58

Do you actually want another child -- do you feel that there's a person missing in your family? Or do you want another baby because they are cute and snuggly and newborns do that adorable whuffly thing with their mouths and they have tiny curled-up fists and so forth? You'll get over the baby thing easily enough (although probably drift in and out of broodiness over the years) but the former is a harder itch to scratch.