..in thinking DP should be able to decide a date to get married without consulting his brother first

[IThinkIDo]

So, we are sat here having an 'OK, when shall we do it?'' conversation, to which he replied 'I would just need to see when x (DP's brother) is free this summer.' Eh? shouldn't it be the other way around? Don't you decide a date and then hope/assume important people can try hard to make it? Am supremely irritated by this. Off to get a glass of wine!

Would it have been better to choose a date and then discover than no one could make it? Is his brother going to be best man?

It's short notice, seems reasonable to check.
The first thing I checked was there wasn't a 5 Nations rugby match on!

I'd've thought it was quite usual to check with immediate family before deciding on a date to get married. You don't want your mum having to turn down her invitation, generally.

If you were planning a weddng two years from now you would not be being unreasonable, but becuase it's only a few months away you are being unreasonable.

People will already have made plans for this summer.

because

I think it's quite normal to check with people you really want to be there( I know I did). DH's brother didn't check with us (for wedding next year) and is now sulking because we can't make it, after saying he'd checked with "all the important people" - errr if we were that important you should have checked!

I don't think you are that unreasonable. If you try to find a date when everybody who matters to you can make it, you'll never get there. IME people who want to be there make it. Having said that, it's a tad short notice.

Ordinarily I would say just set a date. However, given that it is very short notice,I think your oh is being sensible.

Most people have things planned months in advance, holidays etc and can't always alter plans.
I know for certain that my dh cannot change his summer holidays now that they are booked.

If your date is not set in stone I think it's nice to be able to check with important family to make sure they can be there. Our best friends didn't go to a Festival so that they could make our wedding but if we had checked with them first I would have moved the date.

You could be putting them in a very awkward position if they had booked holidays, would you expect them to cancel? Or just accept that they couldn't come.

Yabu but only because it is short notice, by that I mean that we have had our holidays booked for a month or so already. Congratulations!