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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..in thinking DP should be able to decide a date to get married without consulting his brother first

37 replies

IThinkIDo · 08/03/2013 20:24

So, we are sat here having an 'OK, when shall we do it?'' conversation, to which he replied 'I would just need to see when x (DP's brother) is free this summer.' Eh? shouldn't it be the other way around? Don't you decide a date and then hope/assume important people can try hard to make it? Confused Am supremely irritated by this. Off to get a glass of wine!

OP posts:
ArbitraryUsername · 08/03/2013 20:52

Would it have been better to choose a date and then discover than no one could make it? Is his brother going to be best man?

SauvignonBlanche · 08/03/2013 20:53

It's short notice, seems reasonable to check.
The first thing I checked was there wasn't a 5 Nations rugby match on! Grin

Adversecamber · 08/03/2013 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArbitraryUsername · 08/03/2013 20:57

I'd've thought it was quite usual to check with immediate family before deciding on a date to get married. You don't want your mum having to turn down her invitation, generally.

apostropheuse · 08/03/2013 21:01

If you were planning a weddng two years from now you would not be being unreasonable, but becuase it's only a few months away you are being unreasonable.

People will already have made plans for this summer.

apostropheuse · 08/03/2013 21:02

because

MrsSparkles · 08/03/2013 22:17

I think it's quite normal to check with people you really want to be there( I know I did). DH's brother didn't check with us (for wedding next year) and is now sulking because we can't make it, after saying he'd checked with "all the important people" - errr if we were that important you should have checked!

DialMforMummy · 08/03/2013 22:56

I don't think you are that unreasonable. If you try to find a date when everybody who matters to you can make it, you'll never get there. IME people who want to be there make it. Having said that, it's a tad short notice.

simplesusan · 08/03/2013 23:06

Ordinarily I would say just set a date. However, given that it is very short notice,I think your oh is being sensible.

Most people have things planned months in advance, holidays etc and can't always alter plans.
I know for certain that my dh cannot change his summer holidays now that they are booked.

lollilou · 08/03/2013 23:18

If your date is not set in stone I think it's nice to be able to check with important family to make sure they can be there. Our best friends didn't go to a Festival so that they could make our wedding but if we had checked with them first I would have moved the date.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 08/03/2013 23:18

You could be putting them in a very awkward position if they had booked holidays, would you expect them to cancel? Or just accept that they couldn't come.

Cherriesarelovely · 08/03/2013 23:40

Yabu but only because it is short notice, by that I mean that we have had our holidays booked for a month or so already. Congratulations!

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